Peri-menopausal depression

[BumpyBoobs]

is this a thing? I do have depression which I take a low dose of citalopram for.
But for the last 6 months I've been struggling. With work mostly as I've been having issues 'staying in my lane'. I want to leave work but I haven't got the headspace to get that sorted.
I cry every morning and struggle to sleep properly as when I go to bed, I cry. My anxiety is bad, I'm getting daily chest tightening which can lead to panic attacks.
Basically, I think I'm shit. I'm 45, hormonal and just feel done.
My poor kids this morning. I put on a good mask most days but feel unable to continue pretending everything is ok.
Is it worth trying to see a Dr? I was going to try tomorrow?
thank you.

I'm quite similar, op. Sometimes I think if there's a tangible reason, then it's that that needs tackling. My work environment is shocking and I want and need so much more. Its demeaning not feeling valued and beingcapableof so much more.

@BumpyBoobs Yes definitely see your gp, so sorry you’re struggling, I am experiencing similar with PND so send you lots of sympathy and hugs ❤️

@Ridiculous24 yes to the undervaluing. its soul destroying. That and the hormonal issues is just dragging me down so much.
I need a break to address the issues before I have a meltdown.
I'm sorry you're having similar issues.

Go see someone. I feel similar, it's horrible. I sometimes think it would be so great to be hospitalised in a coma for a while just for a rest from all the responsibilities. I'm 45, shit and knackered and it's made worse by kind of wondering if everything is just shit from now on as I get older. I am getting treatment for a diagnosed health issue, plus sertraline but nothing really for menopause yet.

I don't know if my life feels impossibly tiring and boring and awful because it just is or because I'm in peri. I've been told to lower stress but who realistically can do that these days? I can't self-care my exhusband into being less of a shit, my wages up to a more reasonable amount or my dead parents back to life, can I?

I hope you feel better soon OP.

Hiya! Yes I'm 44 and peri, I started my HRT journey nearly a year ago. I've never had depression or anxiety previous, but it got so bad that I ended up off work unwell and starting medication sertraline. I can't believe how much it has affected my brain function. My advice is to book a gp appt with who ever is the most experienced with meno at your surgery.

@fgscat I get what you mean. I'd love to have an accident and get some rest. I know that sounds wrong but I need peace.
What if this is it? Constantly struggling to get my shit together, smile and carry on being normal. Its exhausting.
@Chrisg79 I can relate to the brain fog. you're getting hrt with peri? I definitely need to see a Dr then. I only see GP when I find another lump in my boob. I'll be lucky to get an appt with any Dr but I'll try. Currently a 3 week wait but will try e consult.
Its sad to see I'm not alone, I honestly thought I was just being daft but I've spent the last 6 months getting more and more rundown. Theres no self care here, I don't think I'm worth it.
@Whycantgiraffesdance I had PND too, I'm sorry you have it too. Speak to your HV, mine was fantastic.

You sound burnt out OP 😞 burn out is real amongst women in their 40s. We’re squeezed between caring for kids, caring for aging parents and working in high responsibility jobs. And usually carrying the mental load of life. It’s a LOT.
Im sorry you’re struggling so much.
It’s worth a chat with a meno specialist for possible hrt (great stuff!) but also perhaps you need a rethink of your life too? Your job sounds so stressful. How is life at home?

I hope nobody is offended by this post but just do worry that the talk at the moment about how peri is responsible for depression and anxiety is actually just a way for the patriarchy to keep us in our boxes and skivvying for everyone... "prescribe some HRT and she'll function again and keep doing everything for everyone else and stop complaining", if you see what I mean

I'm 42 and not in full peri yet though some symptoms eg flooding periods, but what I really notice is that so many women in my life are just totally overwhelmed

We're running businesses or holding down tricky jobs, we're doing all the life admin, managing children and school expectations, supporting ageing parents, often with fuck all support from partners and with zero down time

This isn't only stressful it's fucking BORING and it takes us a long way away from our true selves. No wonder we feel like shit and have burnout/depression/need time off

I notice my child free friends don't seem to be suffering so much as they have so many more choices and freedoms and are in control of their life.

Ah well, I tried to get an e consult with Dr today. Said what I'd said here. To be fair I have an appointment, but its not until 12th April.
I know I'm not urgent and I'm not suicidal and I'm lucky to get in but am wondering how the hell I'm going to cope until then. I had hoped to get signed off for a while, just to gather myself.
I'm running on empty, theres nothing left in this tank. Already having panic and anxiety about the thought of going to work tomorrow.
@twoboyssolucky I feel burnt out. I'm lucky DH is a good sort and tries to help but he doesnt understand. He does his fair share. DS is awaiting checks as school believe he's on the spectrum, DSD still in counselling and needing a lot of support. I do help my elderly dad too.
@LostittoBostik no offence taken! I do see where you're coming from, certainly my boss thinks I should stay in my lane and behave.
I'm totally overwhelmed. DH pulls his weight but its still shit.
I don't know what to do now, except try to get myself together and ready my mask for tomorrrow.

@BumpyBoobs Wow that’s a long time to wait when you are feeling like you are. If things get too much you can always ring 111 option 2 to speak to the mental health team, that’s what I did when I was getting nowhere with my gp x

I totally agree with this. But if you dare to say this often on MN or utter the words ‘mental load’ you get jumped on by other people (men and women!) saying ‘it’s just life’ and an insinuation to just suck it up.

@BumpyBoobs does your DH pull his weight in a practical sense but you’re left with all the mental load/preparation and planning by any chance?? I bet you’re what I’d call the ‘CEO of the family’….

What about that horrible sickness bug, op? I think that might take 4 days to clear up...

@Whycantgiraffesdance thank you so much for suggesting 111 and mental health team. I've spoken to them this morning-wow, they were absolutely fantastic! I actually feel listened to.
She asked questions, gave me advice and managed to get my Dr appt moved to next week. She was brilliant.
I feel much better, almost relieved that its being dealt with. It also means I can self certify off work this week. So its a wee break. Just time to breathe.
Thank you everyone, I'm so grateful for your help. And grateful to the NHS.

Oh that’s brilliant @BumpyBoobs I’m so glad they were helpful! I think that’s all we need sometimes to feel like we are being heard and that someone cares! ❤️ really pleased you rang them x