Bipolar? Imaginary friends?

[flowerpower44]

I think I might be bipolar but haven't spoke to anyone about it yet.

I have loads of symptoms and have constant manic mood swings going from highs where I'm confident, happy, content. Loving life, loads of energy, super productive... to then being so low that I'm terribly anxious, depressed, crying and feeling suicidal. I also have periods when I feel 'normal' which sometimes last a few days to weeks. I currently take sertraline but I don't feel any better on it even after my dose was increased.

The symptoms for Bipolar also mention hallucinations and eventhough I don't physically see anything in real life I do imagine people in my head... to the point that if I'm speaking to one of them in the bedroom I will go to the bathroom to get changed because I don't want to get nude in front of them...

These people in my head are sometimes new people but other times it's existing people I currently know or younger versions of friends I used to have. My husband is one of them but not him as he is now. It's him when he was younger.

When I'm on my own I never feel alone because there's always someone there so I constantly feel like I'm being watched or just the same as I would if I did have real life company. I sometimes feel awkward eating in front of them too

Is any of this normal? I have an appointment with a CPN soon but I think when I mention bipolar they will just brush me off and think I'm being dramatic or just say it's just anxiety and depression

My understanding of bipolar is that the mood swings are for prolonged periods of time..(am no expert).
I’m Autistic/ADHD and I do some of the behaviours you describe. I have imaginary conversations in my head all the time. Sometimes it’s visual too. Sometimes it’s rehashing things. ADHD is linked with a delightful (sarcasm) condition called Rejection sensitivity dysphoria - where you are extremely sensitive to rejection. The smallest slight can set me off. I once got offended with some berries that leaked into my bag and on to my work uniform! I was so annoyed (I had to borrow a scrub top) that I wouldn’t eat them! It sounds ridiculous now but I felt it at the time. I got really upset with my boyfriend when I imagined a conversation where he’d cheated and I found out and I went down a massive spiral (fortunately he’s lovely and I was able to tell him and he helped me calm down).ADHD meds have helped me more than antidepressants.I’m worse when I have PMS…much worse..to the point I take stronger ADHD meds that week.

Some of the symptoms you’re experiencing overlap between a few conditions(bipolar, ‘borderline’/EUPD and ADHD with maladaptive day dreaming to name a couple) so I definitely think it’s worth talking to your CPN, I would consider writing it down. Not saying you do have them, you’ve not mentioned anything else that shouts ADHD but it does relate to some of my behaviours.

Good luck, I hope you find a better understanding of yourself soon.

Sounds like maladaptive daydreaming to me

Another one pointing out that coming to a BPD/ EUPD conclusion without excluding adhd and autism in women is dangerous.

I was wrongly lumped with 'EUPD' by someone despite already having an adhd diagnosis. They completely messed with my treatment and set me back. I was reassessed for adhd and got the exact same diagnosis of combined type adhd, once away from the idiot who challenged the first diagnosis and caused the damage.

Too little too late - dropped out uni, life went to pot, there's several things this could be.

There is more than one type of Bipolar, not all people with Bipolar experience exactly the same symptoms. Day-to-day, and even hour-by-hour dramatic mood-swings are not unknown. Rapid Cycling isn't common, but it is a known phenomenon in some people with a Bipolar condition.

Nobody on the internet can diagnose you OP, or entirely rule out conditions based on incomplete information. What you describe isn't consistent with "typical" Type I Bipolar, but that does not preclude you entirely from experiencing some sort of Bipolar condition.

You need to talk this through with the CPN, and if they don't suggest it themselves, I'd suggest you ask for a referral to a Consultant, because if your mental health condition isn't as straightforward as ticking all the boxes on a routine diagnosis, then unfortunately it can often take an eternity of being passed from pillar to post and given incorrect diagnoses and treatments before you finally land with someone who understands that conditions can't be ruled out just because one symptom is not present or isn't reported.

I was misdiagnosed for years because I've never encountered full Mania or Psychosis, fobbed off by near retirement-age psychiatrists because I don't fit with outdated notions of how Bipolar people present, and yet...