How to slow down

[Teacherteachernotapreacher]

This will probably sound ridiculous but I think a big part of why I struggle with my mental health and mood is that I just cannot stop. And I don’t know how to now just…stop.
I’ve always enjoyed being busy and having a routine. I go to the gym 4 mornings a week for strength training, run 4 times a week to train for a marathon, learning piano, work full time in senior leadership in teaching, go to church every week, have 3 kids with busy after school schedules, and so on. Also married and husband helps with it all.

I don’t want to remove any of it as I love my hobbies and the kids love there’s. I can’t go part time and don’t want to either.
but equally I’m wrecked. And have no down time really except Saturdays which are a general rest day. Except for all the jobs
how do you stop stuff?! Or figure out what to stop.

sounds ghastly

all the free time you seem to have for gym, marathon training, piano lessons…. baffiling!

how old are your children?

happily married?

do you outsource anything ie cleaner?

and i always thought from mumsnet teachers do 5 hours a night lesson planning?

They’re 12 10 and 8.
marriage could be better but not awful
we do have a cleaner! She comes every other week
I work 8-5:30 then do a couple of hours a night probably 2 times a week then work on a Sunday afternoon for a couple of hours. I work in a school that’s pretty good re workload

Also sorry for grammar - theirs not there’s! Hurrying as ever 😬

It’s my third marathon. I am not doing another. I can definitely then pull back on training which will help

Could do start by replacing the strength or running for a marathon with something more gentle at least mentally... like yoga? It's strength work but,it's start to slow you down a bit.
Therapy can help you possibly explore why you ahve to be constantly achieving at a high level and can't just be ok...or slow down a little. It can be really difficult for high achievers so I'd suggest not trying to do too much change at once ... slowly slowly ... good to ne aware and want to address tho.

I’ve seen this type of thing before…it usually the man though and the woman gets fed up and it ends in divorce…how is your husband finding your “workaholic” ways?

Does your husband have a similar life outside of work? ie gym and running 8x a week plus piano learning?

because i can’t see how you have have the time. What time do you leave for work?

who does the cooking? the cleaning? the laundry? the transporting to kids clubs?

Hi @Teacherteachernotapreacher
Do you think you have issues which you are avoiding by keeping so busy? Anything from your childhood or current life which you really need to address through therapy?
Or is it more that you were brought up with a strong work ethic and the idea that you need to be constantly striving for the next achievement to be a worthwhile person?
Could you try to cut back on the busyness gradually and see what happens?

clearly too busy to respond to own thread 😆

Saturday is OPs rest day 😀

Read "Refuse to Choose" by Barbara Sher. Eye opening about different types of Scanner personality. She has a section about Plate Spinners, and how to be at peace with this.
It's a wonderful book. Also made me laugh too.

Are you possibly a perfectionist, have ocd, or are anxious, OP?
Maybe a therapist would be more qualified than MN to help you figure out how to slow down. Or do you just like to brag?

Are you coming back OP to acknowledge the posters who have contributed to your thread?
I know you are SUPER busy but that’s rude not to come back at all

Maybe cut back the gym and running by 1 session each? That will give you 2 spare slots, would 6 training sessions a week be enough to get you where you want to be? As for piano, if you plan your practice session well, you can probably get more done in an hour than 2.

Hi there.
So it sounds as if your stress levels & the fact that you have v little space/ time for you is the underlying issue here.

Does that resonate?

What happens is that, when your body/ nervous system are over loaded for a long time, your nervous system gets stuck in fight/ flight (sympathetic response) & you stop going into parasympathetic which allows you to relax, feel peace, & switch off, sleep well etc.

I realise now that I was using sport to try to get the balance right but it was all high cardio.

I'm not a doctor. I just know this because I was in a similar situation a few years back & I keep on coming across lots of people in the same situation.

Does this sound right? If so I'll tell you more & I've some great tips that'll help you.

Once you know where you stand you can make smart choices. 😊 Unfortunately for me, I didn't have anyone to help me realise what was going on back then. I'd really like to help you to find a great way through this - if you'd like.

Big hugs Jane