Health anxiety back with a vengeance. Triggers

[ForeverFat24]

I've long suffered with anxiety, mainly health anxiety, and intrusive illogical thoughts. I've had many therapies and medications. I'm on my fifth round of CBT and thought I was making progress for the first time ever. In the sense that I've started to be more pro active and enjoy life more. I've been no longer scared to leave the house through fear of terrible things happening. And I've been successfully challenging thoughts. Haven't had a panic attack for a good few weeks now, which used to be daily. I was in a constant state of panic. However, I've just read about it that young chap journalist guy that collapsed from an aneurysm while out running.. and oh my gosh. It's sent me into a spiral. I'm now pacing up and down, full of panic and fear that I'm going to have one and just collapse and die.. I've left my toddler in bed until now because the thought of sudden movement triggering something in my body is terrifying me this leading to scenarios and visions in my head of me dying and what will happen to him and what will happen and I will just cease to exist. I've worked myself into such a frenzy and dont know what to do. Trying to distract myself to stop it getting any worse. How can I have made so much progress and now be reduced to this. I'm trying to reason with myself but to no avail. I feel like I've been plunged straight back into that darkness.

Their are two reasons that this death has been reported, firstly that he was a TV reporter and secondly that it is incredibly rare cause of death. If you are 30 your chance of dying is 0.000976. (You can check your exact number here - https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html)

When did you start being anxious? Was it in childhood? Teens? Finding the root cause of how and why it started is the key to stopping it.

Thanks..and I think I'm so triggered because I am the same age an recently became alot more active after being classed as seriously overweight.
I suspect my anxiety stems from a very neglectful childhood, trauma and abuse. As well as losing me sibling at an early age and it was then that I began to question my own mortality and health. It's something I have been working on very hard to try and overcome over the past 14 years.

Setbacks while trying to heal and recover are completely normal, so don't beat yourself up that you've been trigger during a period of doing so well, it doesn't mean you have to start all over again, it's just a setback. I try not to read news articles anymore or watch the news as it's a massive trigger for my anxiety/health anxiety.
I am also currently in my 5th round of counselling! Not all were CBT like yours, one was grief counseling after losing my sister. I completely understand how you feel. I've been massively triggered this week by my son being admitted to hospital and I'm currently trying to pull myself out of a 5 day spiral but we can do this OP! The best thing for you to do is slowly get up and move around a little at a time and PROVE to your lying anxiety that movement is safe and you are safe. Sending love x

It must have been very hard to lose your sibling when you were in your teens - most people of that age only associate death with the natural passing of grandparents. That may well have alarmed your subconscious mind to such at extent that it became hyper-fixated on health, hence the anxiety and intrusive thoughts. This wasn't to punish or torment you, it's the mind's way of trying to keep you safe. Added to that the trauma and abuse will have made you question 'why me?' so it's no wonder your mind is in turmoil. Amongst your therapies have you tried hypnosis? It would help you connect with the parts of your mind which are searching for answers.