poor body image

[roseability]

I am just coming off ADs and although I feel a lot better and have a great time with DS (most of the time), I hate my body! Put on a lot of weight after childbirth, have managed to lose some but still overweight. I am size 16 (can squeeze into 14 in some shops!) and have a really flabby belly with stretch marks. I am only 29 and used to have a great figure (although I didn't think it at the time). I want to have another baby but I am worried what it will do to my self esteem if I put on loads of weight again. I know this is a pathetic reason to get down and not to have another baby. My DH thinks I am sexy, in fact he fancies me more (he says it is the childbearing/fertility thing!) and that should be all that matters. Oh just want to feel good about myself and stop fretting about my weight

exercise really helped me to feel better about body things. i am still a bit podgy but it is great to take some time for myself and go for a swim or a run. i am very very strict about it too and have set times.

i don't have a second child but think one is less likely to gain weight during pg if fitter at the outset.

Totally agree with exercise being the key. I started pilates, yoga, swimming and 'power walking' as a way of controlling my depression (helps loads - you couldn't imagine how much). The great side effects of it were that a) I started to care about keeping my body healthy and keeping my energy levels up, rather than obssessing about how I looked, and b) I lost 2 stone in weight and dropped from a size 16 to a 12! My belly is still a bit flabby and has that stretchmarky, crepey look to it, and I still have days when I pine for my hot young pre-baby body, but in general, I feel miles better. Funnily enough, if my exercise routine is upset for some reason (like on holiday or whatever) I can feel my mood start to slide back down and my body image gets worse again. Get moving! I promise - you'll feel miles better within a month or so.

I'm afraid I don' have advice about eating or exercising but I wanted to say I feel the exact same as you. And my husband thinks the way yours does! I think that if I don't shift this weight before I have a second baby that that will be me, doomed to a flabby, fat body for the rest of my life.
The truth is some deep part of myself knows that that isn't true, and maybe I should just get pregnant, have a baby and then go, right, I'm done having babies, now I'm gonna get sexy! because I'm also worried that if i ever do manage to get sexy then have a baby i'll be back to square one!
oh my i sound even more crazy when my ramblings are written down!

Mmmm been there and got the T-Shirt! My theory was that what was the point of getting my figure back if having another baby. So had 2 quite close together and DS2 was 9 months when fell pregnant again (also have my DS1 who is 7) Only trouble when DS3 arrived he was a right little monkey and never slept (he is only doing so now at 2). Also ended up with what doctor thought was PND or just total exhaustion from having 3 kids to look after on no sleep! So ended up on ADs which I think do slow down your metabolism and keep you fat (they did me anyway) and no time whatsoever to do anything apart from wash clothes/do housework/breast feed!!!!!

So now DS3 is 2 and finally I am getting sleep/energy to think about getting my figure back but with 2 little ones and an older one it does take a lot of effort.

I dont think it is too much to want something that resembles a nice figure once you have had kids. What annoys me is that other women seem to be able to do it so why cant I? Maybe should have stuck to 1 kid then would have had plenty of "ME" time to sort myself out. How nasty does that sound - only joking love my boys really!

Ok, for what its worth! Anorexia nearly cost me my life. It cost a few of my 'friends' theirs. Now I am more a candidate for WW than re-feeding. I am happier than I have ever been, despite my jean size. I do not believe self esteem should be determined by the scales. X

How does anyone find the time to fit in exercie though? One of my parenting books says something like "have the baby in the same room while doing an exercise video". HAHAHAHHA

Thanks for your messages! I actually went for a jog yesterday while my MIL watched DS (I am blessed with a wonderful MIL). I do feel a bit more postive today and have decided to just go ahead ttc. I do want another baby and I am determined to enjoy it and not worry about my weight. I will get my figure back at some point, I am only 29! I have got that guy's book, How To Look Good Naked. He is great, just says we need to love our bodies and enjoy dressing up. Whilst I do think it is good (if you have the time and energy!) to exercise and eat well, you can be sexy and a size 16+! Our bodies have produced another life for goodness sakes! If you see my rant in another thread about celebrities who make us feel bad about ourselves!