Counselling - a question

[Tiredanddistracted]

Hi all.

I had counselling a few years ago, to try and work through what is general low self-esteem, low mood, anxiety etc. OCD has been raised in the past by doctors, but no formal diagnosis. I also binge eat quite considerably. It's very difficult to unpick, as it basically just feels like there are so many ways in which I'm defective, that how can one even start to address it?

Anyway, I didn't find the counselling worked for me. She was lovely, but her approach was 'person centred counselling' and sessions were completely led by me. She never commented on my situation other than to say things like 'that sounds like it was really tough for you' etc. It was nice to feel that my emotions were valid, but honestly, I didn't come out with many insights and felt (with no offence meant) that I could have achieved a similar effect from talking to a friend. I stuck with it for a year, so I feel I gave it a good go.

This is NOT to disparage this style of counselling, which I know can work wonders for many. However, I feel I needed something more - some insights from the therapist, some of her views or statements rather than the answers just being in me and finding my own way to them.

I guess I want to know if there is a particular style if counselling or therapy that would work for me. Where the counsellor/therapist gives their own comments or opinions on what is going on with me. Does this exist? Am I just being lazy? I'd love advice, insights, anything you can give.

Thank you.

I’m no expert but psychodynamic therapy goes deeper, I think. Maybe have a look into that?

I asked my counsellor to be honest, blatant and upfront with me.
I didn't want any "and how did that make you feel" crap.

My experience of psychodynamic was very much as the OP describes. I think CBT might be better?

If you want analysis, psychodynamic psychotherapy is one such approach.

If you want concrete action and techniques, CBT is an evidence based approach for both binge eating (and associated low mood and contributing poor self esteem) and OCD behaviours/thoughts. I would also recommend checking out Fairburn's Overcoming Binge Eating

Hi OP,

I share your opinion on the person centred approach.

There are definitely therapists who facilitate your progress a lot more and I am a true believer that this is a must! I do not believe that a person can figure it out all on their own - how? We haven't got the knowledge or training a therapist has.

You could look for someone with a humanistic approach and who is perhaps focused on trauma? You may also ask the counsellor if they provide psychoeducation. This means they throw in a few comments on what science etc says on certain topics. I find this hugely important. I studied so many things on my own and am completely bewildered how I should have developed such an understanding and awareness in a person centred setting. Perhaps also choose someone who acts as a supervisor - chances are they are a bit more skilled?

My therapist does point out things to me. She often points out things repeatedly before they sink in. On occasion she would tell me when I am projecting for example. Or when my anger is coming from the past and not the people currently in my life. She's also very keen on understanding how I feel in the relationship with her to spot and work on any transference.

OP, if you feel your binge eating and OCD come from childhood trauma I wouldn't recommend CBT. I'm not a professional, but I had it twice and it didn't work and my current therapist says it doesn't work for childhood trauma.

CBT is about teaching you mental attitudes and techniques to deal with various things, including anxiety.

There is stuff that it definitely doesn't work for, but it fits what you were asking for which is the therapist commenting on your thoughts and experiences.

There is some specialist CBT for ocd. See here

https://www.med.upenn.edu/ctsa/formsocdd_cbt.html#:~:text=Cognitive%2Dbehavior%20therapy%20is%20a,called%20Exposure%20and%20Ritual%20Prevention.