can anyone help re PND/anxiety/being tired

[fledtoscotland]

not really sure where to begin but DH thinks i have PND. DS is 6months old and am already 16weeks pregnant (defied medical science). as a family we have all had a cold recently and DS has been really unwell. i am totally knackered and stressed out.

DH thinks this is PND but i'm not sure. yes i am more ratty than normal, am feeling really run down, my ezcema is the worst it has been for years but i think it if due to pregnancy and tiredness. Spoke to Gp about it today who thinks its anxiety but i dont feel anxious at all. i can honestly say that motherhood is the toughest thing i have ever done and i do worry about how i will cope with #2 but i love DS more than anything and i dont feel depressed as in the black feeling of despair. have been depressed in the past (10yrs ago) and this feels nothing like that.

i just want to feel well and not tired and to enjoy everything i have (i know i am lucky to have ds let alone be pregnant again).

has anyone else felt like this? what did you do? can you suggest anything to help me feel better.

thanks

go and get your iron and thryoid function levels tested

that should read thyroid

thanks suzywong. had my iron checked at my 12wk antenatal check. folate is a bit low but Hb is ok. am taking iron tabs every day now. will get GP to check thyroid next week but TBH i dont have any other over/underactive thyroid symptoms.

dh has made his mind up i have PND but am not sure myself.

I bought some relaxation CDs on amazon and have listened to them whenever I feel panicky or anxious. They have helped so much, I know it sounds silly but I am sleeping better, they help me go to sleep and switch off and stop the panic when it comes. Its worth a try.

I bought this cd but im sure most would be good.

I think the best way to feel better is to do all the little things you can think of like relaxation, avoiding caffine. All the patronising sounding obvious stuff.....

my feeling is that the growing awareness of PND is actually quite harmfull. Yes there are quite a few women that are actually quite ill with it but think that many people tick loads of the boxes cos motherhood is really hard in the early stages, specially for those who have been used to getting validation and esteem through achievements in the workplace. I am worried that lots of women keep schtum (as i did) about how hard they find things as they don't want to be labelled as "depressed" -- they know they are not, they are just finding a hard and difficult life hard and difficult.
in your case this is combined with the hormone changes in early pregnancy. Not suprised you feel low.

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i totally agree about the PND bandwagon and tbh i am against getting that label as a couple of my collegues have been off with it (we get 6months full sick pay which is more than matpay) when i know that they are fit and healthy. DH has suffered from depression for years which is why i think he is concerned. it isnt helped by the fact my mum lives 500miles away and MIL is dead and FIL is as much help as a chocolate teapot.

DS usually goes to nursery on tuesdays but because he is ill he is home today.

i was surprised the GP suggested anxiety as this is the one thing i have never felt. i just feel overwhelmed. Because i'm a nurse the HV thinks i dont need support as i aparently know what i'm doing. i nurse terminally ill patients not babies!

i agree with your comments and think myself it is due to circumstances

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my mum is coming up next thursday for a week to help out. it is easier for her to travel 500miles rather than me (with DS and all paraphernalia in tow). i just wish i didnt feel quite so run-down. also feel really bad for snapping at DH who is great and always gets up in the night with DS.

was actually hoping someone had a magic wand they could wave in my direction

For me it helped to think about it a bit like climibing everest. Boy is it hard but you know that someday you will get to the top. Perfectly naturally to feel exhausted and not to enjoy all of it even if some of the views are great

thanks witchandchips - that is a fab way of thinking of it. have even got tears in my eyes thinking that i'm only on the foothills and its a bloody high mountain.

suppose i was just looking for validation that it is ok to feel motherhood is v tough without wanting to have a PND tag.