PMT/PMDD "spreading" - perimenopause?

[herewegoroundthebastardbush]

I'm 39. I have been struggling with very low mood/high emotion around my period for a while (since childbirth 3 years ago). I've managed it on and off with medication and with 'self-awareness', where I check my cycle when I start feeling horrific, and the fact it's 'that time' (week before my period) helps me rationalise and not buy into the feelings as much, I just wait for my period to start and them to go away.

However this month, the horribleness continued for the week after period started - normally it switches off like a light bulb the day before I bleed. I felt continuously upset, angry and emotional, almost out of control, for a straight fortnight.

Could this have something to do with perimenopause? my cycle is still regular (although has shortened by a couple of days over the past year), so why are my hormones playing up into the bleed week? Or is it just I've been kidding myself re the tracking to the cycle and this is just common or garden depression?

Alongside this - when I'm very emotionally overwrought I have this really intrusive mental images of hurting myself in a specific way (won't say what for fear of triggering others). I have never self harmed, and even as I get the mental images, I don't WANT to or have any desire to - I just SEE it. Are intrusive images a peri symptom?

I'm in quite a bad way at the moment, but because it's so cyclical I really struggle to get a handle on it - this week, for example, I am feeling fine - really relaxed, patient, calm - it's so hard to understand that this time last week I was so, so overwrought.

My PMDD got gradually worse after each pregnancy. When my periods stopped due to chemo and started back up again it was horrendous.
The only thing GP would suggest was the pill or antidepressants although it didn’t really click it was PMDD (I don’t think I was as honest as I should have been due to worrying about admitting suicidal/intrusive thoughts).
Go to GP as it could be changes in hormones/peri menopause - it’s definite worth trying HRT to see or something else.
(just to add I had my ovaries removed due to another issues and have never had those feelings/thoughts again (not to suggest this as a treatment).
please get it investigated. It’s horrendous and I don’t think people realise how awful/scary/terrifying it is to live with.

x

Just to add when my did have my periods the PMDD would stop the day of my first bleed. Like a switch.

Thank you @Bananawotsit - I really hope you're much better now after the chemo and it must be such a relief to be done with the PMDD. It's such a headfuck to me that I can be literally suicidal one week then fine the next, it's like I don't know what's real or who I really am or if my life is really bad or really good ☹️ i find it so so difficult but i know im lucky to at least not be fully living in it any more, i have some self awareness - but this spread from the week i expect it into half my life is giving me the fear 😨

Hi, this sounds a lot like me. I've always been aware of my mood fluctuations and knowing where I was in the cycle helped. After about 42 they started to get worse though, I would feel like my thoughts flipped around, could interpret situations wrong, lots of inner ranting. It got to the point where I felt so low with it and there wasn't enough good times in the month. I think it is PMDD. I know there are probably some mental techniques like being aware of the thoughts, and all the helpful things you can do like self care, but it's also relentless. I would also have thoughts of harm (I've never done that, only maybe once as a teenager), that were quite distressing. It does help to remember it passes and then it's completely forgotten on the good days. I think it's caused by sudden drops in estrogen and progesterone, whereas before they might not have dropped so low? Anyway.....long story short, I went to the GP and went on the progesterone only pill. It has definitely stabilised things. I am still adjusting- sometimes I still get rages, and I had a very teary weekend last period, but I can cope with a few tears (watch a sad movie as an excuse 😂) and I can exercise out the rage, as long as I don't have the low despairing feelings. Worth a chat with GP about hormonal contraception, I resisted for ages and wish I had gone sooner. I also remember Everning Primrose Oil seemed to help in the past.