How to stop worrying/ overthinking/ paranoia

[CutiePatooties]

With relations or people in general, really.

Take today for instance - I came in for a meeting at work after 2 months off and when I got home, two people messaged me to say they’re sorry they missed me today. I asked one of them how they knew I was there and she said ‘it’s your working day,’ which doesn’t add up because I’ve been signed off and she’s not said about missing me any other week.

I found it strange that her reason didn’t make sense - almost as if people have been saying bad things about me and she didn’t want to disclose what was said or who said it.

The problem is, I’m now worried about working tomorrow. My paranoia is very high now as I feel like at least one person is talking about me and if it was an innocent ‘cutie was back today,’ then surely my colleague would just say ‘someone mentioned you were back.’ Instead, she said she hasn’t spoken to anyone. It’s very odd, but I do just want to stop the overthinking and the paranoia that comes with it, as I need to keep my job and can’t keep having dips that stem from not feeling like I belong somewhere.

Sorry, I’m probably not making sense as I’ve been up since midnight and only got 2 hours sleep last night.

Maybe she knew you were due back? Or she didn't want you to think people were gossiping.... either way I see why its made you think the way you have because I have ocd and I'm the same but I'm sure work friend doesn't realise this. Nice early night tonight if you can try and relax

Are you sure you're ready to go back? Feeling paranoid and coping with just two hours sleep suggests you could do with a bit more help/time off.

@Eyesopenwideawake I am having counselling sessions each week, so will discuss my paranoia with her soon. I also don’t usually go with such little sleep, but I was anxious about coming back today after such a long time off.

Work have told me that if I was off any longer I would have triggered their absence policy which scares me!

Sorry you're struggling.

I don't have answers to your specific questions but I would say that after what you've described my first thought is that your colleagues like you, care about you, and wanted to find a way to show you that.

Anxiety is so awful in how it can drain the joy from everything and all you can see is just fear and badness.

There's not a single technique to stop overthinking but one tip you could try is just injecting a bit of a rhetorical "so what?" into your thought process. Maybe people were talking about me. So what. Maybe some people think I'm weird. So what. Etc. Sounds silly but if you start with forcing that thought, it can slowly start to adjust your feelings a bit too.

I hope you are accessing some type of help with everything. It's not easy. I really hope things improve.

@FloorWipes oh thank you so much! I love the ‘so what?’ And will 100% be using that.

Tips like that are exactly what I need, so thank you very much for taking the time to share :)

For me it was medication and CBT. I also spend time outside each day, do gentle exercise and practice mindfulness.

Have you been assessed for autism? Just the flavour I'm getting from your post. Definitely bring this up with your counsellor although to me it sounds like you need to see a psychologist or psychotherapist, not a counsellor

@Wolfiefan oooo, daily exercise and mindfulness sounds good. I’ll give that a go, thank you.

@herewegoroundtheblueberrybush A referral has only recently gone off for potential autism and ADHD. I love how you picked up on that from what I posted - I wouldn’t have a clue!

It has helped me so much. I did a mindfulness course through the pain clinic but there are lots of resources you can access. I also walk my dogs each day which combines time in nature with some gentle exercise. It really helps me.

Ah that's great news, glad you've got a referral. I've worked in the field a long time and one gets to understand patterns. Good luck

Well I managed to go in and get the job done then another colleague came to see me and said ‘someone said you were coming back but can’t remember who.’ Am I completely bonkers to think this hush hush is all very strange? 3 people either making out no one told them or someone did but they can’t remember who. Sounds like gossiping to me and I can’t shake the paranoid thoughts! Good job I have a counselling session coming up soon 😂

So what? (See what I did there?) People always gossip we've just had a guy off at our place for 9 weeks and we didn't think he was coming back so when I heard he was back I was shocked. Its not gossiping in a bad way just oh guess what... bobs back at work and I'd be like... no way is he....