Why do I feel like this after seeing my friend?

[lilacsky89]

I popped round to my close friends house this evening and I've noticed I always come home feeling a bit down and full of worry after.

I don't think it's a her problem, it's me. She dosent say anything to me to make me feel bad, she's not a bad person, we've been friends a long time. I think I just care too much what she thinks of me and I always feel bad about myself after.

I just can't put my finger on why I do this to myself, why do I care so much and worry about what she thinks of me? Is this just what it is like to have anxiety?

Are you jealous of her do you think? That's often the cause!

Are you trying to make her feel worse?

What nonsense!!

Sometimes it can be you unknowingly comparing your life to hers and feeling like you’re coming up short.
She might also be subtly putting you down as well, that you’ve got so used to that you don’t notice.

It doesn’t have to be anything she’s consciously doing. Can you try to think more about exactly what causes this? Is it the same if you see her outside her house? If you care about what she thinks about you, what do you think she thinks about you — how do you imagine you come across to her?

I don't think I'm jealous of her, she's is slightly better off financially than me (I started my family a little younger so I'm doing things a little backwards) but I'm not really a jealous person usually, I often feel happy for friends successes.

I don't have the highest self esteem so maybe I subconsciously it could be jealously but I wouldn't be able to pin point jealousy about what. We are quite different people in the sense that I'm a bit of a romantasist and let my heart make decisions over my head sometimes and she's much more sensible person that makes careful choices which I do admire.

I do often worry about what people think of me after social events meeting new people and I analyse what I said and did but I don't usually feel this way with friends.

I think it might just be a me issue and I need to build up my self esteem a bit.

I can't really pin point anything she has done to make me feel a bit off.

Do other friends make you feel down after being in their company.

@BestieNo1 sorry it that came across as too abrupt -that's just what can make me feel anxious sometimes so I was just trying to relate!

What a load of BS. More like a symptom of anxiety if anything.

I feel like this a bit after speaking to someone I know casually. She's absolutely lovely and I always come away feeling worthless even though she'd be horrified if she knew. It's in no way her fault at all.

She's beautiful, confident and very capable all round. I'm not jealous I just wish I was more like her and feel inferior to her. Could it be something like that? Not jealous just comparing yourself?

It does sound like social anxiety, unless you come away from seeing other friends feeling positive and this problem is specific to this one friend.

Sounds like you over analysing things. I wonder if you replay the conversation with your friend again and again once your home?

It does sound like you over analyze things. I'm sure your friend likes you and your company. The over thinking is in YOUR head by the sound of it, not hers. Maybe you have low self esteem from childhood experiences, but keep telling yourself you are as good as anyone else and relax in each other's company.

I too have had a friend who I came to realise made me feel low and nauseous with anxiety after speaking with her. It didn't used to be like that.

I realised that I wasn't strong enough to ward off my inner struggles while she was around. She was herself , the good and the bad, but at the time, her way of being brought out the anxiety in me that I was trying to overcome.

I don't enjoy or feel at all competent in the rat race of life whereas my friend's very being was the race. She is that person who
orchestrates her own and her family's life in such detail, planning for every eventuality and setting up the world for them. She embodies exactly what I am not and my worries.
That's not her fault and actually she is a really kind person but you obviously can't ask someone to be fundamentally different to how they are.
The last few times I've not felt so low afterwards.

Maybe something about your friend is bringing out your own anxieties in a way that you can't yet understand.
My advice would be to possibly take a step back a while, until you are feeling stronger, but remember what is good and kind about your friend.