Do you have a history of mental illness? You are now 63 and blaming something that happened on events that used to happen in your youth. Your girlfriend sounds a bit nuts to be honest and not the healthiest person for you to be with.
I can confirm that I have, I suffered 2 seizures on consecutive days in late 2016, this affected my memory most of all, when I was beginning to recall some history, I thought it was 1984 and I was 23, I happened to be 56. This had a big effect on me, as her I am over 7 years on, I can have glimmers of a memory, but I cannot bring anything relating to it to become more clearer/vivid and it is very frustrating, so how much of my memory is still intact and what has been erased, I have no idea, but it plagues me each and every day.
More recently, I've been diagnosed as a very high functioning autistic, this came about from watching my kids and their behaviour, many things they did echoed mine, the ex and I had them assessed and they are both on the spectrum and were given all the help available. A few years later, I got to wondering if I might be suffering the same condition and I decided to do some research, I contacted my doctor and gave him a list of the things I did (stims and behaviour etc), he sent me to the mental health team, I spent a few days with them and in tests, I scored 87%, this terrified me, as I was thinking that I'd "blessed" my kids with a condition they'd have to live with and that I'd endured all my life, without knowing and without help and I'm still going through it.
The majority of time I'm a very level headed guy, not aggressive or nasty, very easy going, can hold a conversation with anyone, love to laugh and make others laugh, but at the same time, engage in serious talk when required, so all in all, a normal bloke. However, it's when the accusations and blame starts that I get my back up, I can take it for so long and give a verbal warning that people are pushing their luck, over time, I've learned not to argue with people, I prefer to walk away from conflict and get out of the situation, many have called me chicken, but don't understand why I do that, despite me telling them many times and that fact I have been pushed to far and into "flight or fight mode", it's when the "flight mode" fails to engage that the atmosphere changes. I know it's all about control and I should be able to keep my anger at a low level, but when the dog has been kicked too many times, it can bite and with me being trained in two martial arts to a mid to high standard, things can get out of hand very quickly. Then when everything simmers down, the blame game starts again and the "flight mode" kicks in. This sets off my guilt and a cannot leave the house for 2-3 weeks at a time, for fear of me losing my temper again.
It's horrible, completely and utterly horrible, I'm not the one who caused the trouble, but I am the one who ended it, still get the blame and accused of being a trouble causer, no wonder I prefer to live like a hermit.