Would you leave your job to spend time focusing on your mental health?

[Muminthewest]

Have you, or would you, resign from your job for the benefit of your mental health?

I have a low level, low paid job but overall I enjoy it. For non-work reasons my mental health has been struggling for months and I feel like I’m in a crisis.

I’ve been wondering for ages, should resign and take some time to rebalance my mental health (for the benefit of myself and my family), then look for another job again down the line.

Would it be worth it? I’d love to hear if this worked for you. Did you have a plan before you did it?

I know it’s not specifically related to your query, but last Summer I left a job I absolutely loved because of how it was affecting my mental health.

Occupational Heath referred me to an online interactive type CBT course which kind of backfired as it was doing the course that made me realise that it was my job that was at the route of my problems.

When I handed my notice in everyone was gobsmacked as they knew how much I loved my job. I didn’t have a plan about what would I would do afterwards, all I knew was that I had to get out.

That was seven months ago now and thankfully my husband earns enough to cover the fact I don’t have an income anymore.

I’m training to obtain another qualification now and hopefully, following exams later this year, I will be back working by the Autumn.

I have no regrets whatsoever about having left my job. I found it hard because it was a job I loved and one I was very good at, but it was just breaking me.

No job is worth risking your mental and/or physical health for.

You sound very much like me as I did this. I am still unfortunately very unwell and kid myself I’m okay when the reality is that I am quite seriously ill.
I am going round in circles but aim to be better and back to work by the autumn.

You have to do what’s right for you op. Don’t compromise your mental health.

Sometimes work is what keeps you going. Being connected to the wider world, having a productive role in society and having a daily routine are quite valuable to wellbeing.

Following... I really need a break for a month or two to sort my physical and mental health out before applying for other jobs. But not sure I can afford the drop in income.

No but I have reduced my hours at work to look after my mental health.

I have had 2 periods of 3 months off work. Once in this job and once in a previous job. My current employer is very supportive and the daily routine is very good for my mental health but it is also important that I don't work more than 2 days in a row so I have Wednesdays off. When I have had to take time off work my mood has got significantly worse after going off sick. Some times it's necessary though but not working has a negative impact on my mental health. It's a delicate balancing act!

Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear that you’re not where you want to be yet. Keep going! I really hope you’ll get there.

Can I ask, did you have a plan when you resigned from your job on how you would approach improving your mental health? Time to heal, exercising, talking therapy, therapeutic crying, walks in nature, etc. Did you try something and it’s not working or is it that ‘life’ fills all
your time up (kids, housework, plans, meals, headlice, petrol in car, parents evenings, etc etc etc)?

I agree. That’s why it’s a hard decision. I feel I need to go into this with my eyes open and it has to be worth the risk of losing/reducing/putting on hold all the benefits that working brings.

I was in your boat a few years ago and even though I enjoyed my job, I took the leap and left and it was the best decision I've made. We are skint, we miss my wages but I'm so much happier. I try and find joy in the small things now, I keep a routine that helps me. I garden, I read my kindle once a week in a little cafe, I volunteer. In time, I got a small part time job in a bakery with zero pressure.

You could always go off sick for a while as a test for yourself if you don't feel ready to leave.

Thanks for sharing. This is really helpful to hear.
Can I ask, are you a parent too? If so, that fills a lot of time up as week doesn’t it. After working and parenting and running the house, etc. I feel I need more time than what’s left over to rebalance my mental health. Otherwise I and by emotion my family begin to suffer. I’m so conflicted. It feels somehow selfish to take more time for myself. But it’s like making way for a disability. You can’t just live your life how you want to - you’re held back.

Yes I am. I got severely unwell after having my daughter and went straight from mat leave to sick leave. I did a phased return to work whilst my daughter was in full time nursery and I figured out how much work I could do whilst not harming my mental health. I did every combination before settling on 4 days with Wednesdays off.
Since then MH daughter has been off with me on my day off but we had discussed her staying in nursery if I hadn't been able to manage and I think it is likely I will stay on 4 days a week once she is in nursery.

My partner is wonderful and does most of the day to day cleaning and the cooking. I pick up more of the weekly jobs (shopping & washing etc) which I find easier to fit around WFH and my mood. I'm bipolar and I have had poor mental health all of my adult life and my relationship.

We haven't had much support but in the last few months my parents have been in a position to help out so they come occasionally to watch my daughter whilst we get on top of the house. My daughter is still waking in the nights and my medication is quite sedating and getting poor sleep is and for my mental health so my partner does 95% of the early mornings at the weekend whilst I get some rest.

I think if you think stopping work might help you. Speak to your employer about going down to 3 or 4 days a week. It would give you a taste of what time away from work would look like. You could start to build things your days off that would help you with routine if you were to stop working.

I have been able to access therapy alongside work. I had attachment therapy for a year after returning to work once a week and I'm about to start some counselling with my hv

I’d advise talking to work. I’m a manager and have supported members of my team with reduced hours etc

Don't give up yet. Ask your GP about taking some sick leave. A job gives you purpose and human connections. Wait until you know that not being at work actually helps. Good luck.

Giving up work is a big step and brings about a whole different set of circumstances which could very easily add to your mental ill health. If you are going to do it then make sure you're fully protected financially - including protecting your pension as part of the household expenses and ensuring you're named on the deeds etc - and have a return to work strategy in place so that you remain employable, eg retrain, volunteer etc. Connecting with others and having a purpose to your day outside of the 4 walls is incredibly important to remaining well mentally.

Have you spoken to your manager about possible adjustments?

I have done this
On more than one occasion
I am freelance and had part time jobs to boost income
And just lived on less while I got better

What did you train as?

I'd second talking to work to see if you could reduce hours or change working pattern, or change roles to give yourself some space. I've done both at times of stress.
Whatever you decide, even if you stop working, be ruthless about your reasons for doing so and ensure you ringfence the time you need. Do not let that time become sorting out the linen cupboard, or popping in to visit lonely Auntie Gertrude! Say NO when friends and family try to impinge upon it.
I took out RSPB and NationalTrust memberships, packed a lunch and took off straight after school run to get away and give myself the thinking space I needed.

Now I'm firing on all cylinders again but I still miss those days alone, just walking, talking to myself and sitting.

I was a nurse, and had been working as a nurse for 17 years, but the job I left was a specialised role.

I’m now doing some extra training to give me a qualification that will enable me to continuing working in a similar field but on a self-employed basis. I will never return to the NHS.

I have taken loads of time out for this reason - sometimes agreed with work and able to return (a year or some months later) and sometimes a resignation and regroup. We have to live with this stuff, but we don’t have to suffer with it to try to do what we might be able to without mental health issues, if that makes sense. It IS a disability - I recommend doing whatever you can to protect your health, when you need to. In terms of plans, as a pp said, the routine and social connections of work can be good for us, so making sure you don’t lose the ability to get out and about and see people is really important (I have ended up almost (fairly) agoraphobic a lot). But nothing you will punish yourself for - negative plans are sometimes as useful as positive - I’m not going to go more than 3 days without seeing people, etc.. gives flexibility in terms of actual activities but meets the same objective. Modules of online courses or learning new crafty things - gardening and stuff have all been all good Good luck!! You fully deserve and are worthy of selfish self-care sometimes.

I was medically discharged for MH and took 12-18 months just being at home and healing (as much as you can with ptsd). I live rurally so walks and gardening etc helped me immensely. I'm very lucky to have a medical pension that pays approx same as a 4 day week min wage job. Now I work in a kennels on an adhoc basis and love it. Long days but I get a genuine job satisfaction when I lock up.

Giving up work completely is daunting, especially financially. Can your household take the hit? Could a period of a few months unpaid leave with a job to go back to work? Is your employer MH aware/can offer support?

Access to Work offer support to stay in work or to get back into work after being off. Might be worth checking out:

https://atw.maximusuk.co.uk/?utmsource=adwords&utmmmedium=ppc&utmcampaign=AtW%20-%20Performance%20Max%20-%20Jan%2023&utmmid=ATW&utmterm&utmmcontent=Display%20Path&matchtype&device=m&keyword&creative&campaignid=19577365852&adgroupid&locinteresttms&locphysicallms=9045067&feeditemid&adposition&hsaacc=8639246383&hsaacam=19577365852&hsagrp&hsaaad&hsasrc=x&hsaatgt&hsakw&hsaamt&hsanet=adwords&hsaaver=3&gadsource=1&gclid=CjwKCAiArLyuBhA7EiwA-qo80ErENaFEMjvrqWi35yqLblJZZEumUU3tXqLaDMxOegm1wraTYK0PLRoCXxcQAvDD_BwE

I have done it on more than one occasion and for me it was both helpful and.also terribly stressful. I thought I was escaping something hugely difficult only to be confronted with having no routine or stability. Which in some ways made me feel worse. As did the feeling of not having as much daily human interaction. So I would say it isn't a black and white thing and you have to do what is right for you.

Yes yes yes !

After my experince doing cleaning work and the seriously Grim ways of general public at times ect..

@coffeeisthebest yes true the lack of social interaction and structure and income can all be stressors too.

@ThisIsOk thank you for your NHS service, I have been in and out of hosp visiting a relative recently and can only imagine what you have had to deal with: good luck with your training
I am only being nosy as I want something I can do /I find myself looking for jobs regularly