Don't know whether to start antidepressants

[Poppet626]

Hi,

I have been wondering whether to take antidepressants for a while now. My GP prescribed them for me as they do for pretty much everyone who comes to them with low mood or anxiety.

I don't know whether to take them because how do you even diagnose yourself or get diagnosed with depression/anxiety?

I don't know if I'm depressed.

I constantly feel pretty empty, like a failure, a lot of self hate, low body image, very unmotivated, guilt ridden etc, extremely anxious about things that could happen or are happening etc.

Some days I wake up and these feelings take over my whole day causing me to spend the day in bed on and off crying, I've never contemplated suicide but have days where I think I just don't wanna be here. And I think, I must take the medication to get through this.

But other days I will have these feelings but they aren't really effecting me? They're not gone but I just don't think about them if that makes sense? I wake up and feel fine, I can laugh at things, etc. this then stops me from taking the medication because I think well I feel alright now?

One day I feel lower than low and the next I don't feel ecstatic but I feel fine.

I also want to try for a baby in a few months time I just don't know how I would feel taking the medication whilst pregnant, especially as mentioned above I don't even know if I am depressed.

Anyone else relate to this?

I constantly feel pretty empty, like a failure, a lot of self hate, low body image, very unmotivated, guilt ridden etc, extremely anxious about things that could happen or are happening etc.

When did this start and what caused it? Finding the root of these thoughts is often the key to changing the way you think.

Are you able to self refer for therapy? In our area you self refer on line and then get a triage call from a mental health professional. They are called Therapy for You.

My GP signposted me to the service and told me to come back if I was still struggling in a few months and he would then consider prescribing anti depressants.

I was referred for CBT which I waited three months for. After that I didn't feel the need for anti depressants.

My DD also had talking therapy/CBT but eventually all involved realised she needed the anti depressants too.

Hope you get the help you need.

Yes OP, I can relate very much. It sounds like you have some painful and difficult feelings that are trying to make themselves heard. I felt very similar for a long time and like you, went back and forth about whether to take ADs.

Therapy was the way forward for me. It was a long and painful process, and I did take ADs for a short period when the emotional pain got too much. Therapy helped me to understand where these feelings were coming from, to process the pain and grief underneath, and to ultimately accept my experiences and show lots of compassion for myself. I had psychodynamic psychotherapy, which is long term, and very different to CBT

ADs may give you some respite from your depressive symptoms, but some of them come with unpleasant side effects, and ultimately they won't do anything to change what is causing your depression