Getting unwell with the news

[Bennettsister]

I feel really embarrassed about this, but I really need some advice.
I have always been prone to feeling very low/mild depression. I was on sertralin for a while which really helped with anxiety but then weaned myself off. I realise now that I didn’t really replace it with any other strategy/mechanism. I have long suspected that I am autistic.
Anyway, I have become unhealthily absorbed with the war in Gaza, and the terrible
suffering there. It started when i accidentally
stumbled across some really upsetting images of dying/injured children on Twitter. I wasn’t looking for them at all but they popped up
when I was looking at a few news accounts etc. I was so upset by these images. Since then I check the news obsessively, hoping that one day I’ll switch it on and there will be a ceasefire or our politicians won’t be refusing to condemn the slaughter in Gaza. It makes me so angry -
I know it does a lot of people, but I think I have become unwell with it. I know I am more unhappy at home, which isn’t fair on my two you my children. I know the obvious answer is to just stop checking the news but I somehow feel that would be a betrayal of those poor children I saw the pictures of.
I know this isn’t rational. Any advice gratefully received.

Stop watching the news. It really is that simple and it is irrational to think doing so would be a betrayal of children you don't know.

It's adversely affecting your mental health and like anything else having that effect that is easy to stop doing, stop doing it.

Then you'll be in a better position to judge your mental health and unhappiness at home.

Stop following the news. Unless you are in a position to help you are just being dunked in misery for no reason. You need to focus your mental energy on your family. We think we can put pressure on the government to change things but in reality we’re just along for this ride. Things will change but right now turn off the TV and get your life back.

I became like this on Twitter. It made me feel so ill that eventually I did manage to leave Twitter completely - luckily for me it was at the time when Musk's new ownership was making Twitter less and less appealing and easier to turn my back on.

I have poor mental health in any case, but until a few years ago I didn't really understand why people would turn away from the news. Now I can't bear any news media at all, beyond a scan through the headlines on the guardian.

It is partly because the news these days is so distressingly negative in so many areas, but I think it is also to do with how social media has altered the way in which we consume news.

For one thing, the algorithms push the same stories at us again and again, which are often the stories that most upset us. For another, we feel more like participants - because we now have so many opportunities to comment in public. And as participants we feel like we have more at stake personally, especially because so many news stories are so very polarised. We nail our colours to the mast and then feel outraged/judged/etc by perspectives that demonise our own perspectives.

I really do think that the solution is to step away. Look at just enough news to meet your duties as a citizen (ie to enable you to determine how to vote). But don't spend any longer on it than that.

Unless you decide to actually do something to try to improve the lot of the devastated people of Gaza, your consumption of the news is just a kind of self-torture. You could decide to take practical action (donate, join a campaigning group, etc) but if you aren't going to do this, just step right away.

I agree with the comments above. Seeking out the very distressing news stories has become a form of self harm for you. You need to stop doing it in order to feel better.

I'm the same so I literally cannot watch the news especially after September 11th watching that live on TV was the worst thing I've witnessed I could feel myself in the days after detaching from my life obsessed over details so I shut it off it was really hard though

Watching doesn't help. Turning off isn't a betrayal. Make a donation if you can, and then turn your phone off.

I stopped watching the news during the first covid lockdown. It was having a significant negative impact on my mood. I have a trusted other, who doesn’t get so impacted keep me up to date with anything I need to know.

Limit your media watching.
I turn it off and only watch the weather, if any.

I think if you weaned yourself off, your meds, perhaps you should be seeking advice how to and if it is right to from your gp.
Some people need long term meds some less.
Focus on doing small things with your children and family each day to help feel good about yourself.
It was my child's Nana who said she no longer watched the news when my child stayed because the coverage of such things is horrendous.
Focus on making your day and children's special moments like a meal together, time together on a short walk etc.
We can not better the world but start with your own family perhaps.

I (try and) limit myself to the radio - 1 hour of the Today programme in the morning and then I don’t go on news SM at all. I sometimes listen to lunchtime or evening news but I don’t look at any images. This has helped a bit…I do just turn it off if I can’t cope. Last night PM was playing long clips of children screaming and crying in Gaza and I switched it off. You have to find a way to detach yourself from it. Good luck 🤞🏻

I particularly like your final sentence, @Mumtime2. Instinctively, when we see suffering we feel a need to take action. But so much of the suffering we see via the news is beyond our control. However, there is suffering all around us in our daily life, which we can ameliorate in small ways just by being kind and compassionate to one another. Compassion soothes the giver as well as the receiver. And it is an antidote to the anger and judgementalism provoked by the news.
I know that of course we do also have some responsibility to look beyond our daily lives and help people who are at a distance. But we aren't helping them just by grieving and raging in front of our screens. Perhaps by making ourselves more well in the short term (by focusing our lives on the real people around us) we can become stronger in the longer term and more able to act politically.

Oh also can you do something proactive like - circumstances allowing - give something to the Disasters Emergency Fund? Even if only a small amount you will have contributed to supporting those children in need. It might help to feel you’ve taken action.

I’m the same, prone to anxiety which can lead to a more depressive state, been on medication for years. I sometimes have to go cold turkey on the news for my own mental wellbeing. It just becomes too much and in reality there is little I can do to change what’s happening. Just stop watching. This time will pass.

It doesn’t help to beat yourself up about the situation. Social media platforms are designed to be compulsive. Current media reporting is crafted to make users stay on apps and websites. You are not weak for ending up with this problem.

It is not a betrayal of the world around us to limit our media intake. It is part of keeping ourselves healthy. If we are healthy we are ultimately in a good place to help the world e.g. take care of your children, do whatever else in your life you do like hobbies, other caring or friend relationships, a job.

You could try removing the app from your devices for a little while (like a few days or a week) to take a short break and see if this helps you feel any better. The problem will still be there if you go back to the app, sadly.

I find it helps to habitually logout of Twitter/X when I close the app. I did delete the app entirely for a few months which helped me but I came back.

Switch to the radio.
I get my news from R4 twice a day: on my way to work and when I cook dinner. No visuals.

DP gets similarly upset by online news yet finds it really hard to stop checking in.

I can somehow relate to the feeling that, by checking in, you are 'holding a space' for the tragedy of what you see unfolding, and so, with your awareness, you are willing its resolution into being. It is a beautiful idea, but definitely magical thinking and not helpful in terms of preserving your mental health. It presumes a position of mild omnipotence and places an inordinate burden of imagined responsibility on yourself. I think we do it because the alternative, sitting in the uncomfortable feeling of impotence of not being able to do anything about the suffering, feels intolerable.

You should give yourself and your children the gift of letting this go. Or perhaps switch it up to actively involving yourself in something practical such as volunteering or fundraising?

I think all the advice above suggesting you stop looking but instead focus on something practical to help is a good idea. Maybe hold a fundraising bake sale or collect donations of items locally. This way you are not doing nothing and turning your back but you are avoiding all those very distressing and triggering news stories.

https://www.unicef.org.uk/fundraise/

Focus on doing something positive - is there a refugee charity near you that you could do some volunteer work with? Or write some letters for Amnesty? Or if you don’t have time for all that, could you set up a £5 a month donation to War Child or Chose Love?

Watching the news is doing these kids and your kids no good at all. It’s really hard to get out of through, so I would suggest you go cold turkey for a week and stop scrolling on your phone full stop. M

Identify your vulnerable times of the day, so you can put your phone away when you go back to it.

If a week off your phone doesn’t sort you out then you probably need some CBT to help you manage your thinking, and returning to sertraline may be needed sort term. I’d make an appt with your doctor - you can always cancel if you don’t need it next week.

I know it's not always to live is ignorance is bliss but I'm a really empathetic person and even more so since having my DC.

I don't suggest with anxiety or depression but I know I feel things deeply so o don't want h or read the news anymore. If I have the radio on and the news comes on I turn the channel or turn it down. I don't follow any news pages on social media etc.

I just know it wouldn't be good for my mental health so I protect it.

Thank you everyone. I read all of your comments and found them so helpful.
I don’t have Twitter (it was actually a work account I was using to do some research for a presentation - I think my lack of Twitter skills
meant I didn’t know to avoid scrolling the comments under posts to avoid seeing really unpleasant stuff).
it’s the constant live feeds on the BBC and the Guardian that I find the problem. They make me feel I can somehow do something when of course I can’t.
thank you so much again. All of your advice is very helpful.

@Bennettsister I do so empathise with you.

I'm a news junky, I'll happily watch sky news for five or so hours a day and read the Guardian every day. However, in the early days of covid, I had to stop reading/watching the news. The number of people hospitalised/dead was too much for my mental health, and I'm v v lucky that so far in my life, I've had pretty robust mental health.

But I had to ration my news intake during covid (enough news so I felt informed, but not so much news as I felt overwhelmed).

you must stop consuming the news, especially through those channels, like Facebook,that use algorithms. Those outlets will just keep showing you more of the same.