Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Experience with bipolar - please help

14 replies

Overwhelmed1234 · 05/02/2024 17:35

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping to hear anyone’s experiences with bipolar disorder, it has been suggested a few times throughout trying to access help and I’m now on the very long wait list to be assessed.

I feel at breaking point, I don’t want to be a burden to people I care about any further so I’m trying so hard to keep it in but I feel more and more out of control.

I’ve been on a wide range of antidepressants, many forms of therapy, worked very hard to get into good healthy routines etc however I just know there is something wrong that I can’t solve myself.

I currently feel extremely down, with constant thoughts of taking my life and I don’t know how many more days I can push through.

I keep up a good front, I know there will be people reading this that know me and have no idea, but as much as it appears otherwise it governs my entire life.

The doctors can offer no further help and have said I need to wait for the psychiatrist, I am out of things to try so I’m really hoping someone can come along and tell me about their experience and give some hope.

I have no idea if it is bipolar however it seems to fit, and seems to fit with some family members past personalities. Any help appreciated, I feel so ashamed and alone.

Happy to give more background if useful but aware this is getting long. I just want to understand and not feel like this anymore.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Pibolar · 05/02/2024 18:12

Hi, sorry to hear you are going through this. Bipolar here too so you are not alone, I have only found out in the last year.

anti depressants can make bipolar worse.

not sure what else to say as I’m having a low day myself and can’t think straight but ask away and I’ll do my best to answer.

Polarising · 05/02/2024 18:21

Bipolar here too. Information and advice are available from bipolaruk.org, you don’t have to be diagnosed to use their self management materials or other support.

I found getting into a good sleep routine was the biggest challenge but also the most useful thing ever. Stay away from antidepressants!

https://www.bipolaruk.org/get-support

Get Support

Support is available through a range of services for anyone over 18 with bipolar, anyone who doesn't yet have a diagnosis, and their family, carers and friends

https://www.bipolaruk.org/get-support

Overwhelmed1234 · 05/02/2024 18:24

Thank you, appreciate it. Sorry to hear you’re also not feeling great.

I believe the last ones I tried made it worse, I was completely reckless and didn’t care, it was embarrassing.

Are you now medicated at all, and has it made anything easier?

By what criteria did they diagnose you?

OP posts:
Overwhelmed1234 · 05/02/2024 18:30

Thank you @Polarising

Interesting to hear another vote re antidepressants, I swear sertraline caused mania and I upended my life without realising. I told my GP this and they were very dismissive, said they couldn’t help if I wouldn’t take the medication etc, but I felt so scared and out of control.

Do you use medication now or just use other techniques to manage it? I will have a read thank you.

OP posts:
NamechangeForthisquestion1 · 05/02/2024 18:35

Sorry to hear this, OP. I often wonder if I'm bipolar, anti depressants have made me so much worse, caused mania (like you) made me feel awful - like I'd taken psychedelic drugs. I don't want to try any more ADs. My Gp won't listen, should I mention I think I'm bipolar and go from there? I think about suicide and I'm extremely low much of the time. I'm at a loss.

NamechangeForthisquestion1 · 05/02/2024 18:36

Sertraline made me act completely out of character and I did something really stupid. I hope things improve, OP

Pibolar · 05/02/2024 18:42

Yes sounds about right, they can bring in mania.

I have a working diagnosis, I’m trying my second med out as first one want suitable.

I’m not sure about the criteria but I thought i had ADHD (still might have) i went for an assessment and they basically said they have to rule out everything else first ie depression, chronic fatigue etc etc.
so by process of elimination i guess

Overwhelmed1234 · 05/02/2024 18:44

@NamechangeForthisquestion1 that’s exactly how I tried to explain it! I felt like I’d taken cocaine and honestly it looked like I had.

I wish I could advise, haven’t had much success myself but maybe worth a try?

OP posts:
108Anj · 05/02/2024 18:48

DH with bipolar in the past here. I observed that certain things made it worse, much worse. I took charge of his diet and cut out tea, coffee, caffeine, meat, fish, alcohol, cigarettes and all added sugar. All of these would drastically change his mood. Also cut out reheated food, most garlic and onions. It is basically a yogic diet. He is still on it after 35 years. If he has something he shouldn't, generally it is so obvious with immediate mood flip. He hasn't been manic or really depressed for decades now. Doctor took him off all meds. Hope this helps

Superscientist · 05/02/2024 20:31

Hi I have had poor mental health most of my life especially since being 16. I was diagnosed with bipolar in my mid20s. Once they stopped trying to treat my depression with antidepressants and started me on and antipsychotic to act as a mood stabiliser things have been better.

I am sensitive to stress and had quite unstable moods whilst I was doing my PhD. I finish that 7 years ago now and have had 2 episodes since. A mild hypomanic episode when I moved house about a year after I graduated and a really bad episode after I had my daughter. As I have bipolar 1 and based on my history I had a 50% chance of a severe episode. This happened and unfortunately it turned treatment resistant. For the first time since my bipolar diagnosis medication failed me. I ended up in hospital and on a lot of medication. I came out of the episode and was back at work on 80% 3 months later. This was 2 years ago now and in a few weeks I will be back down to just quetiapine.

I have learnt a lot and it takes effort to stay level. I always say I am bipolar and not I have because it is with me every days whether I am in an episode or not. It is there with all my major life events not always in a good way. I have done more with my life than I ever could have imagined. I have seen the pits of despair and child like delight. I have a great appreciation of the mundane now!

Polarising · 06/02/2024 10:02

Overwhelmed1234 · 05/02/2024 18:30

Thank you @Polarising

Interesting to hear another vote re antidepressants, I swear sertraline caused mania and I upended my life without realising. I told my GP this and they were very dismissive, said they couldn’t help if I wouldn’t take the medication etc, but I felt so scared and out of control.

Do you use medication now or just use other techniques to manage it? I will have a read thank you.

I don’t use medication currently but I took a mood stabiliser (lithium) for many years and occasionally had antipsychotics and benzodiazepines if things got turbulent. Meds were a great help but lifestyle changes were equally if not more significant. I don’t think there’s one single approach that works for everyone but stress management is often key. Good luck.

DRS1970 · 06/02/2024 17:58

Bipolar here too, and also have Asperger's, and PTSD to spice it all up. I was diagnosed Bipolar just over 10 years ago. I had mainly depressive symptoms, and although I had manic episodes, I had no insight into those and mainly thought they were fab. I take Lithium to stabilise my mood. It wiped out my highs, but wasn't effective with the depressive symptoms for me. So I also take Sertaline and Mirtazapine for the depressive side, and occasionally Quetiapine for anxiety. My experience of mental health services has largely been positive, but I have had some bad and poor experiences too. I am currently having my third round of therapy with a psychologist, but that has mainly focused on my PTSD. I am kind of in the sweet spot, apparently, at the moment in terms of stability. But overall I feel kind of flat, and detached from life - it's kind of like being a robot version of me. But things could be, and have been, worse, so I try to be thankful. Like you, I have had my moments where it seems easier to give up than try to go on. All I can say to help you with that is that those thoughts are only temporary, and the world is a richer place with you in it. If you feel your referrals are not being actioned promptly to address your mental state, or your treatment is substandard, you could try speaking to PALS. They are very good, and will address any concerns you have. GL, and be kind to yourself.

NCforThis3 · 06/02/2024 18:50

The first thing I came on to say that antidepressants are not suitable without a mood stabiliser. GPs often don’t know this, the useful ones are like gold. Like pp sertraline was not good for me. It made me paranoid, I was hypomanic and I got hypnogogic hallucinations and so was taken off it immediately, prior to getting my diagnosis. I’m bipolar and am on the antipsychotic Quetiapine, an anticonvulsant Lamotrigine and an antidepressant Fluoxetine.

SLEEP: For now, while you are waiting, you need to understand that there is no management of bipolar that does not involve a good sleep schedule. Some of us need more sleep than is recommended, so try and get about 10 hours every day at the same time. This and taking medication correctly is my psychiatrist’s mantra.

EXERCISE: Exercise really does help with mood, it gives me a hit immediately in a way, I’ve anecdotally noticed it doesn’t for people who are not bipolar. I truly hate exercise, but if I’ve slept and I’ve done exercise, I know I’ll get a break from the depression. (I recognise that it can feel impossible to do this in a depressive episode though, I recommend you find someone to force you to do it when you’re having a depressive episode)

FOOD: You don’t need to go crazy and just eat brown rice, plain tofu and veg but I find I have to be mindful of what I eat. We are more likely to be obese because of the medication and impulsivity so try your best to have unhealthy foods in moderation.

Even medicated these things are still very impactful.

Negativity coming up, so if you are anxious, please feel free not to read. I don’t want to cause you any upset this is just my NHS experience and there are others who have had much better experiences.

leaving lots of space so you can consider.

On average, it takes 9 and 1/2 years to be diagnosed with bipolar on the NHS. Unfortunately, people are left with no help for years and their episodes often have to become acute before it is considered as an option. I ended up in front of psychiatrist, multiple times before diagnosis. I knew what was wrong with me because multiple people have it in my family and that was dismissed for a variety of stupid reasons including:

  • I could articulate myself, I have a job (never mind I had been signed off for months) and I went to mainstream school (never mind it usually presents late teens to mid 20s)
  • It seems like it had been a rough couple of months for me so it’s probably situational, not genetic

I promise you, I am not exaggerating.

I know this is not an option for everybody, but trying to get help left me so despondent that my Mum (bless her) and I scraped eventually scraped every penny we had so I could go private. Two appointments, some input from my mum, my partner and my psychotherapist and I was diagnosed with meds. The NHS psychiatrist didn’t reach out to anybody else, the appointments were significantly shorter, and because by the time I had the appointment my mood was different they really only focused on the symptoms they could see at the time so the questions were different.

I recognise the privilege here, it’s massively unfair and I know that this is not an option for everybody. Initially, I had to use any disposable income on this. Now I make the decision to only work in big companies because usually there is medical insurance, so they cover the appointment fees. I can’t work consistently though until I’m stable and titration often throws me off. Once you are stable, some GPs are happy to prescribe your medication so you’re not having to pay for it privately (sometimes it works out cheaper though).

NCforThis3 · 06/02/2024 19:00

108Anj · 05/02/2024 18:48

DH with bipolar in the past here. I observed that certain things made it worse, much worse. I took charge of his diet and cut out tea, coffee, caffeine, meat, fish, alcohol, cigarettes and all added sugar. All of these would drastically change his mood. Also cut out reheated food, most garlic and onions. It is basically a yogic diet. He is still on it after 35 years. If he has something he shouldn't, generally it is so obvious with immediate mood flip. He hasn't been manic or really depressed for decades now. Doctor took him off all meds. Hope this helps

Edited

Love this post even though I do things a little differently. It’s excellent advice, and to be honest, I think they need to start stressing it more.

I’m vegetarian and my other family members with bipolar bar one are pescatarian. Caffeine is just a no, decaf everything and to be honest I still limit tea and coffee. I have alcohol maybe once or twice a year and it’s two drinks at most. I have a massive sweet tooth and I agree sugar is a problem and must only be had in moderation. If I had the discipline, I would give it up entirely.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page