Narcissistic Mums

[MamFL]

Hi looking for others who may of went through similar with their own mums,

I have a very narcissistic emotionally abusive mother who ive had to deal with for 30 odd years
of my life, to the point something snapped in me last week when she decided to take sides with my abusive baby daddy who she knows has abused me for years, not sure what made me snap but it felt the final straw.

has anyone cut contact and done this successfully without feeling any guilt? 🥹 any help appreciated.

Cut the chord your life will be much better. Your worth is going to explode without her. Negative people have no place in your life x

There’s a whole support thread let me see if I can find it!

Support for children of narcissistic parents can be found on the "we took you to stately homes" thread.

I have also found much succour and validation on the YouTube channel LIve Abuse Free.

You have my sympathy, it's a very painful relationship dynamic to have to deal with.

I went no contact with my narcissist mother oh about 15 years ago, it was a hard decision to make but I’ve never regretted it. I started to see her drip her poison towards my DC and though no you don’t get to do it with my children I’m going to protect them from you. I don’t miss her at all, I do miss having a traditional mother/daughter relationship like I see my friends having and it’s hard explaining to people who don’t “get it”

There’s a good website too “daughters of narcissistic mothers” there’s a lot of us out there ❤️

Hey. This thread has caught my eye. I have a difficult relationship with my mother. She's definitely very up and down mood wise and a definite contribution to my low self esteem. But I find myself thinking is she really that bad? Is it me?
My mother falls out with everyone and doesn't have any friends but how do you know your mother is narcissistic?

Years of therapy on my behalf, and years of working on myself, i also noticed things more when i had a little girl and realised i would never treat my own flesh and blood like that, i always knew something was toxic but speaking to a therapist clarified this, she would make me question my reality all the time, to the point id also think i was going crazy, she would mirror everything i said i was feeling and twist it back on to her so she was the victim, she uses my brother to and cause’s triangulation a lot, because hes never been subjected to her abuse, so wont ever understand.

i would really push to go to therapy its the best thing i did to realise and re train my brain to start and think about things logically, and realise you dont need anyones validation, you are your own person, and you are capable on your own. I also realised when my mam would be the only person who could trigger me, and cause me to react so abusive myself, but id never be like that with anyone else, i also dread phonecalls and spending time with her because she causes arguments so much! she even told me i was to blame when i told her my ex partner was sexually coercive she told me “well you keep going back”

i wish you well on your journey!! Its a hard one to navigate!! 😕 x

YouTube really is helpful for learning whether someone is a narcissist. There are lots of channels devoted to explaining narcissistic behaviours and personality traits, and supporting survivors.

I mentioned my current favourite Live Abuse Free, I find Zoe's analyses there very detailed and helpful, and would love to do one of her courses. I've also enjoyed Lisa Romano, Todd Grande and Doctor Ramani on YouTube.

I think it is good to understand whether a toxic person is in fact a narcissist. I found it so validating and empowering to fully realise 'No, I'm not mad, this is really happening, it's abusive and awful, it has had a devastating impact on me but I am not broken or weak because of that. The other person behaves dreadfully and now I can be more objective and can choose how I want to respond to them".

All the best 🌻