Hand hold. HA & medical PTSD - sitting in a&e alone

[Nogodsnomasters]

I have been having problems with my bowels on and off for months, been to GP several times, have had bloods, stool tests, tried medications. The past month symptoms have been bad and so GP changed meds to laxido which I've just done 3 wks of. The last 3 days I am so nauseous I can't eat, when I do attempt to eat my stomach fills up with wind which I can't shift and I feel so uncomfortable and sore so I decided I need to come to a&e as GP is getting me nowhere.
I have severe health anxiety and medical related PTSD, I'm here on my own as my husband needed to stay home with our sick daughter. When I arrived my resting heart rate was 137 for goodness sake, I've managed to get it down to around 110 with my headphones on listening to meditation audios but I am so terrified. Terrified of what other tests they'll make me do (I've already done blood and urine since I've got here), terrified of what they'll find, terrified that they'll find nothing and I'll go home feeling completely miserable and have to just live like this under the guise of "IBS", terrified they'll admit me. Basically terrified of every single outcome. I've cried 4 times already since arriving 2hrs ago.

Just keep those headphones on OP. You're nearly there. 🌸🌸🌸

Do some box breathing for now, it will help you relax a bit.

Calm down. For the sake of your own future

I'm guessing you're going to be there for a while. If you've got enough battery charge this video explains what's going on in your body when you're scared. You can decide if it will help you to know it's all very normal and part of your defence system.

It's not as simple as just calming down when someone has anxiety.

OP, it sounds like you could be extremely constipated, possibly with faecal impaction. I'm not a doctor or health professional though. My daughter has just been through something similar and she wouldn't eat or drink and every time she had any fluids, she would burp a lot and was very gassy.

Ask about having a bowel X-ray to see whether you are backed up in there.

If you telling me to calm down could erase 15yrs of health anxiety and 9yrs of PTSD due to my sister's death then that would be fabulous because several rounds of therapy has not managed it!

Thank you for your reply. They did not really want to X ray me as my blood test and urine came back fine but I pushed for it (cried and begged basically, wasn't rude) and so I had the bowel X ray which showed I'm not quite impacted but there was a significant amount of poo on the right side of my bowel and some in my rectum and other areas too. Thing is I've already been on laxido daily for 3wks so they've recommended upping the dose and having my GP refer me for an abdominal ultrasound. I just feel so nauseous and want to eat but when I do it causes such horrible symptoms.
Your poor daughter how is she doing now?

Thank you everyone for your supportive words, I am thankfully home now and can begin trying to de-escalate from this mentally.