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I can’t even sleep properly anymore

6 replies

luluhi · 04/02/2024 04:16

i don’t know what to do anymore. I tried calling the work assistance programme thing and it helped at the time as I had one call to offload as I was crying on my lunch break but didn’t offer my therapy and I’m back to feeling crap again. I just feel generally anxious and don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like a burden and stupid for thinking about all of these things but it’s making me feel so unwell and I’m on the edge of crying all of the time.

I turned down a job with a huge pay increase because of my anxiety and I can’t stop thinking about it, I turned it down because I didn’t want to take anything new on at the time because I have a small child who doesn’t sleep very well and I keep catching cold so it seemed right at the time but can’t get over it.

i hate my actual job but scared to leave it as I don’t have the energy for anything new.

my self esteem is in tatters, I feel ugly and fat and embarrassed to see any friends

can’t really talk to my husband as he’s not good with emotional stuff so don’t really have anyone to talk to, feel embarrassed to talk to friends

feel like my life is stagnant and like I’m trapped, I feel so down. I have credit card debt I need to pay off too and we need to move somewhere bigger but can’t afford it.

always catching a cold and having breakouts.

i don’t recognise myself anymore and my brain just won’t stop thinking. What can i do.

sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
SonOfAGoodStrongWoman · 04/02/2024 06:21

Please go and speak to the GP.
At the very least they should request blood tests (thyroid, ferritin, vitamin D, B12, folate) as there could be underlying causes that can make you feel this way that could be easily treated.
They could also refer to therapy, although you may be able to self refer in your area, and they may suggest medication that could help.
I’m sorry you are struggling, I hope things improve for you soon Flowers
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/

nhs.uk

NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression

How to access free psychological therapies (talking therapies) like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling and guided self-help on the NHS.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/

NewJeans · 04/02/2024 06:22

The good news: all of this is fixable. All of it.

Step one: if you're this overwhelmed and it's been going on a while a trip to the GP is probably a good idea, you might need some meds to keep you stable while you go about changing things in your life. You might also need signing off work for a bit. Go book an emergency appointment and talk to them.

Call the employee assistance program again. First because it'll help you offload again, which keeps you going for now and second, because there may be some kind of system whereby if you keep calling them about the problems it triggers a referral for further help.

Go on the money matters forum here and ask for someone to point you in the direction of help for debt or give you advice. The sooner you can pay it off the sooner you can stop worrying about it. There will be a way even if it takes a while. Just making a plan for how to deal with it will make you feel more in control.

You're not in the right mindset for weight loss right now but know it can be changed in the future. For now eat plenty of vegetables because your brain needs nutrients and take some kind of exercise daily, just a walk round the park is fine because being outside, even at night, even in rain, even if there's not a blade of grass in sight, plus the exercise itself, will help your mind.

The viruses and breakouts could be stress. All these measures to tackle your MH will improve that. Get some echinacea tablets and take them 10 days (no longer) to help give you a boost to get over whatever you've got at the moment.

Grab a notebook and pen, write down all your thoughts. They don't have to make sense. You don't have to read them again. It's to get them out of your head right now, that's all. It could help stop your mind going round in circles endlessly. Afterwards you might be able to sleep.

Instead of moving somewhere right now, wait until you've paid down the debt. For now look at furniture/storage solutions from IKEA or somewhere, to make your home work better for you. Then search out second hand stuff to keep costs down or DIY your own version.

You'll get a new job one day but probably need to tackle this other stuff first, to get more stable mentally and healthy physically and to gain confidence in yourself that you can achieve things.

There will be times you can't do anything much except maybe shower, care for baby and go to work. That's fine. Don't beat yourself up about it. Do what you can, when you can and it'll all eventually get done and life will be better. Don't get caught up with having a perfect home, schedule some time to work on these life improvement things even if it means no house chores get done that week. You'll get there.

Also find the number for a MH helpline and call it daily if you need to.

NotDoingOk · 04/02/2024 10:13

Hating your job is probably having a big knock on effect on everything else. If your EAP didn't refer you for therapy, there will be lots of other routes into free talking therapy. Your local healthcare should be a place to start.

NotDoingOk · 04/02/2024 10:19

Oh, that should have said NHS Healthcare trust. Also Mind should have links to local charities that offer talking therapy as well.

Ilovedogs1 · 04/02/2024 11:58

All good points by @NewJeans . I'm presently emerging from a breakdown due to an anxiety disorder. All those individual things do add up. I know how hard it is. I had a few good days a couple of weeks ago now back to feeling overwhelmed and anxious. It feels relentless and sort of 'what's the point'. But we have to keep going. Sending hugs

auntyElle · 04/02/2024 12:03

Check what the work assistance programme is contracted to provide for you: x number of sessions or whatever. And then ask them for it. Don't wait for them to offer.

It will very likely have less of a waiting time than the NHS, Mind or local charity.

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