How do I approach this at work? I feel like i'm going to have a breakdown!

[QueeniePlumtree]

Hi All,

I'm being referred to diagnostics for investigations as I've been experiencing worrying bowel and abdomen issues, that are intensifying. I work remotely on the whole, so have been managing OK this far.

However, I am soon to be expected to start commuting to be onsite with clients in meeting rooms delivering workshops over the next few months.

My symptoms have got progressively worse and can be limiting, I need to be near a toilet (sorry if tmi)

I developed anxiety last year and being in a very toxic work environment, I put my symptoms down to stress and burnout.

I have kept this to myself and not told anyone, but now feel I need to approach this. albeit a very embarrasing situation.

Not to mention needing to attend appointments (I'm doing this via a private healthcare scheme at work) - but also what I've just discussed with the GP is giving me huge anxiety and I cannot concentrate.

There's no way I can travel and be delivering presentations to rooms full of people, worrying about my body.

What would you do? How do I approach this? I feel on the verge of a breakdown. I'm shaking writing this, tears are streaming down my face.

There's so much crucial stuff going on at work, but I feel my health and mental health needs to come first! Its a small company and I know I'll be letting people down hugely.

Thanks in advance.

Are you looking for another job? being in a very toxic work environment is no good for either your mental or physical health. Perhaps if this small company had a better attitude towards their staff welfare and wellbeing you would be better able to take the time off you need.

As it is get signed off. Health comes first, always.

Totally agree with previous poster, a toxic work environment could be half of the problem so think about looking for a new job. In the meantime though speak to your GP, they will be able to sign you off sick to give you some headspace

I developed abdominal and bowel issues when I was in a stressful work environment. It's fight or flight. I changed jobs. It got better.

I am yes, I've had an interview and pre-interview this week , with another tomorrow!

Thanks, I just needed to vent! I feel like I'm drowning.

I've totally lost me and all my confidence! It's horrible, so many people are burnt out and fed up!

This is my plan completely! Thank you.

Long term a change of job is probably the right thing. But dealing with the short term issue is it that you are embarrassed by the fact you may need a number of urgent toilet breaks or something worse?

I am working with a very senior lawyer at the moment. Not sure whether he has a prostate or bowel issues but he pops out to the loo at least twice in every meeting we have together including formal court hearings. He doesn’t make a big deal of it and no one bats an eye. Whilst people may notice that you have left the room particularly if you are leading the training session I think you might be surprised by how accommodating and accepting people will be of that. It’s not like being at school and needing to ask for permission to leave the room!

It's mostly at the moment, I am really finding it hard to control my bowels and can be absolutely on the verge of not 'quite' getting to the toilet. Obviously at home that's fine - but in the interim, I am pretty worried I could be caught out in public / meeting room.

It is always tricky to raise potential reasonable adjustments at work. I have had good and bad experiences. Now I always try to get the initial conversation in early before I need too many adjustments but only once I have a feeling for how the conversation will go. If I don't think it would go well I would hold off a little longer.

If you were to have a meeting with your line manager and HV, what do you think their response would be and what reasonable adjustments would help you with the job? If they are difficult would you GP or health professionals be able to write a fit note to support your reasonable adjustments?

I have a colleague that has an overactive bladder and no one bats an eyelid when she requests a toilet break mid meeting and actually she isn't the only person to nip out to the loo and others grab a coffee or glass of water. Everyone is back and refreshed after 4-5 minutes and we continue.

I’d just get signed off for the foreseeable. At least until you have another job anyway

I would request a meeting with your line manager and tell them that you have health issues and currently undergoing some investigations. Explain that while you are waiting for a diagnosis and treatment it is limiting your ability to travel and deliver workshops. If necessary involve HR and ask to be referred to occupational health to request some reasonable adjustments.

Long term if this is a stressful environment it would be best to find another job. Also if your employer is not supportive then don't hesitate to take some sick leave.

This.

You're unwell right?

Stop working. Get signed off by the GP and if you have it, Occupational Health. Speak to your line manager and give him or her the information that they need so they understand why you're off sick.

Get yourself well again and use the time to look for a new job. But don't leave until you've got an offer! You need the security while you're off.

Presumably you'll get sick pay?