I think I could have postpartum depression? Unsure...

[Username1233]

I'm just going to jump straight into it and not bore you with everything else. I HATE myself since giving birth 8 months ago. I hate my body, I am insanely paranoid about my DH finding me unattractive, I'm obsessed with going to the gym, and I'm a ball of nerves. I LOVE my DD, and have no regrets or resentment towards her (this is where I'm confused). It's not the being a new parent again that makes me feel uneasy, it's just me in general. I feel totally obsessed with how I now look, and cannot stop body shaming myself. I know I'm being totally unreasonable, but I can't help feeling this way! I'm hesitant to start medication because I really don't want to have to rely on something. Could this just be a little bit of anxiety? Or could this be postpartum depression? I felt so confident before having my DD.

I just want to say that you are not alone in the way you are feeling! 6 months postpartum here and have very similar thoughts and feelings.

Prior to my little boy I was generally quite “fit” ran a lot, walked a lot and was content with my appearance. I had a c-section so getting back into exercise hasn’t been as quick as I’d of liked. But I am finally running again and feeling a tad better. I’m about 10 pounds off pre pregnancy weight and doing everything in my power to shift it.

My issue is that I feel like even my face looks different l! I feel like I’ve aged drastically in the last 6 months and my eyes are soooo dark. I don’t even recognise myself when I look in the mirror anymore and I hate that about myself. I don’t know how to dress and find myself in leggings / baggy blazers or jumpers. I use to always wash my hair/ do my make up etc but I don’t always get the time now as I’m prioritising my fitness in spare time.

I know deep down I’m being very harsh on myself and my appearance probably isn't as different as I think!! But is so bloody hard. And I often worry my OH thinks I’m crazy ugly now. He never gives me any reason to think that though!!

Be kind :)

@Rainbowboy23 I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling the same way! It's absolutely horrible, and exhausting being so hard on myself every day! My DH keeps saying I need to change my mindset, it's driving me loopy! Of course if it was that easy I would choose not to feel this way, but it goes so much deeper than this! If I'm being totally honest I also resent my DH, nothing physically changes for the men!

im also totally with you on the clothes front. I forgot how I used to dress, nothing fits nicely anymore and all my staple tops look ridiculous because my boobies are down by my knees.

Sorry, a massive vent there but know you're not alone. Sending hugs xxx

Ahhh yes the resentment - that sometimes builds and turns into a postpartum rage 😂😂😂