Colleague self harming and its triggering me

[user990990]

I have a colleague who is self harming and working with her is so difficult as it's like I'm looking at myself 10 years ago.
It's bringing back so many memories and I'm finding it tough. My friend died from suicide (slit wrists).
I don't want to make this about me but its hard to stop thinking about the past.

I think that both you and she need and deserve support. It’s almost certainly inappropriate for you to start talking about your own history of self harm and your friend’s death around her, but I think it’s quite appropriate for you to tell her kindly that you’re finding her conversations about self harm difficult and that you don’t want to have them in the office. Not knowing all the circumstances it’s hard to advise, but I’d say that if she is significantly distressed or talking about self harm in the workplace then you need to tell management or HR who should deal with it - it’s not up to colleagues to provide support for something this serious.

Then - separately, you need some support for you. Is there a safe place you can go and talk about the feelings her self harm brings up for you? Counselling? GP? Even a call to the Samaritans? If you’re talking to someone completely outside then you’re not “making it about you”, you’re understandably getting support for some very difficult memories and feelings. Take care