Feeling like everything is pointless

[ilovesleep1234]

Hello everyone

I'm soon to be 60 -a big milestone birthday. Aside from that there's so many adjustments I'm having to come to terms with too. I've lost both parents within a couple of years. Marriage problems hit us and we separated for awhile but we are getting back on track. Our last child has left home and everything just seems pointless. I've had over 35 years of child rearing being a stay at home mum for years. I've been in my job many years now and am fortunate to be able to drop to PT. We have no mortgage or money worries. I know I'm fortunate in many ways. Does anyone else feel like there's no point to anything at this stage of your life? I don't mean to sound ungrateful I'm really struggling with anxiety lack of sleep and just feeling hopeless. I'm post menopausal so I'm well past all that. Please be kind.

I think you need to try and reframe this a bit in your mind. All your dependents have flown the nest, your husband has shown he has other priorities and you're at a loss as to your purpose. If o were you I'd be so excited for this new chapter. Get to know yourself again, go try new things, see places, get fit, see friends, do things that bring you joy. Time to get selfish and consider what you want from life just for you. Where your husband fits into that you decide. Embrace it!

Having turned 60 last year (spent my birthday at the vet as one of our dogs had a seizure just as we were about to go out!) I can empathise. It's a time of change and realignment of your role. Maybe a few sessions of counselling or therapy might help, certainly with the anxiety. Or maybe take yourself away for a few days to think about what you want to do with this next part of your life.

Have you got a bucket list? Are there things you've always dreamt of doing but couldn't because of the needs of others? I went indoor sky diving just after my birthday - it was amazing fun! Next on the list is a grand tour of Europe by train to visit all the cities I've never had time to see. What would make your heart beat a bit faster?

I have lots of different things planned for this year. I love climbing as I've always been an adventurous kind of person. I'm currently teaching my granddaughter how to ride her bike and gain confidence. I know it's a different mindset that's needed and I'll get there. I'm not good with changes.
Each time my daughters went away to university I'd think about when they would be back. This time though they won't be as they are following their dreams and I'm so proud of them all. I find myself being nostalgic about the past and how it used to be but my husband and i have our plans to spend more time in Spain and eventually retiring there. I know there's lots to look forward to. I think losing your parents makes you question your own life and it's a kind of feeling a bit misplaced if that makes sense.

Yes, that’s very natural. Allow yourself some wallow time every now and then but also think about building new memories.

But Spain! Really? Come to Portugal - much nicer 😊