Depressed teen

[LadyWentworth]

DS18 has told us he has been depressed for the past three years. He looks sad and it’s like he has given up - doesn’t want to see friends or do anything except work and sleep. How can I help him? I’m so worried about him.

Has he been to the GP or engaged with any MH support?

He needs to see GP.
Medication and counselling.

Did something happen or change three years ago? Can he identify any reasons why himself? What happens if you ask him how you can help him?

He doesn’t say much. We ask how he is or how we can help and he shrugs. He doesn’t want to go to GP but has said he might talk to someone else. I’ve found a counsellor today who can see him so I’m hoping he will engage with them. Just don’t know what else to do

Has he fallen out with friends or anything? Is he still at school/college or just working?

I think trying to get him out and doing activities is key. Walks in the country air to a pub, anything that might interest him (going to a football game, high ropes course, driving lessons etc)?

It’s great he’s up for trying therapy, try and not put pressure on him and don’t ask too much about it.

Make sure he knows that the feelings will pass and won’t stay forever. Also try and normalise it a bit by telling him if people you know who have struggled or even celebrities that have had it like the rock.

Found him drinking neat vodka last night - he was nearly unconscious. Got him to bed. In his room we found more notes, empty bottles of vodka and lots of packs of paracetamol, unopened thankfully. Have phoned MH services this morning. How did we not see he was this bad?

Oh I'm so sorry.
I think the sinking into depression is so gradual it is hard to see, and until 'something' happens you don't know what they are really thinking.
Hopefully now he will accept some help, and you know to be aware.

I'd also try and review his diet and screen time. At least he's able to talk to you about how he feels now so that's good.

Sorry to hear this, I know how awful it is.

As others have said, see the GP as an emergency appointment and find a therapist either privately, through the GP (long waits) or through a charity such as Young Minds (also has a great website).

Another good website-

www.themix.org.uk/get-support

Check to see what your local authority provides, eg mental health chat lines (while you wait for proper therapy)

At the GP ask for his bloods to be tested as well to rule out any physical causes.

Let us know how you get on.

I’m sorry @LadyWentworth - how is he feeling now?

I suspect he wouldn’t talk about it if it wasn’t terrible. I would get him to take a break from everything now.

Thanks for the support. It is awful, we are so anxious all the time. He’s very flat today and still not talking much at all. He has seen the dr and got sertraline. Dr was very good, is arranging therapy and wants to see him weekly for now. I know it’s going to take time and we just have to help him ride it out but it’s terrifying to see him like this.

I’m really sorry OP, I think it will take lots of time now and be a slow recovery. Try and get him out the house fo a walk when you can but not much else can be done right now.

it good you’ve got the doctor on board.

please do PM me if you ever need to chat xx

LadyWentworth I'm really sorry to hear your teen is struggling that's really hard for them and you. I'm a CBT psychotherapist and I would suggest professional help either privately or through your GP. There is a really useful new website out there: www.mindeasers.co.uk part of it is free. It might help to start with. Depression is a thinking style, sometimes it's chemical, where we see the world as 'I will always feel like this, nothing will change ever' its called catastrophic negative thinking and you can see how it would affect your mood and behaviour. It's not hopeless people get over depression and live full and happy lives.