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What is wrong with my son?

6 replies

Nightblindness · 28/01/2024 23:02

Sorry, I know noone can answer this question, but I am worried about my son. He lives at home still (he is late 20s, works, earns well, contributes to household, etc) and has been acting very strangely today. Flew off the handle at very little at lunchtime, stormed off, refused to come to table and hasn't eaten all day. Dh and I have tried to talk to him but he has refused to engage with us. All we have gleaned is that he says he has been in a bad mood for a few days (but we didn't notice anything amiss until this lunchtime), and he does not feel physically unwell (but he normally has a huge appetite and I cooked his favourite lunch today so the fact that he has not eaten since breakfast is itself concerning). We have no idea what is going on, no idea why he might be feeling low, he has not given us any indication.

Dh has gone to bed now but I can't sleep for worrying about what is going on in my son's head. It is just so weird. Ds has always had social problems (probably on the autism spectrum though he has never had a diagnosis). He has a good job, as I've already said, but he works entirely from home and does not mix socially with anyone outside the family. We are wondering if he has had a work set back but doesn't like to tell us. He has never been able to talk about his feelings and leaves the room if anyone else talks about theirs. It makes it very hard to dig beneath his exterior and understand what is going on.

I know noone can help really. I just needed to write something down. I am so unsettled by his behaviour today and scared he will do something stupid.

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 28/01/2024 23:13

Has he taken drugs?

Devilsmommy · 28/01/2024 23:20

Really helpful @KnickerlessParsons I think you may be right that there's been some issue with his work though don't really know how you can find out without asking. Sorry

Nightblindness · 28/01/2024 23:36

No, drugs are the least likely cause. He is the most risk adverse person I know.

The trouble with this whole situation is that, the more you try to speak to him, the less he will say. He has always been that way, sadly.

OP posts:
Mydoghealsmyheart · 28/01/2024 23:37

Could you maybe tell your son that you and DH are concerned and want him to know you’re there to listen. Maybe suggest he just says one word (or even writes it down) as this can often be used as a starting point for a chat. It’s horrible when, as parents, we know something is wrong but are unable to find out the cause. I wish you well.

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/01/2024 23:38

Sounds like an introvert?

Nightblindness · 28/01/2024 23:49

He has just emerged from his room (first time since lunchtime). He went to the kitchen for a hot water bottle but hid in the utility room when I followed him into the room. No response when I asked him if he was alright and tried to give him a little arm rub (hugs are strictly off limits). I say I am concerned for him. No response. I ask him if he has work tomorrow (only because the only scenario we can think of is that something has happened at work). He snaps of course I have work tomorrow.. I try again with asking what is wrong. He seems so angry with us, though that can just be how he reacts to personal questions or questions about feelings. He snaps I'm sure you can work it out and storms back to his room.

Yes, he is an introvert. I know that. But this is not normal behaviour, even for him.

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