Anxiety attack? PTSD?

[DeliasMyth]

I have 3 kids. One has never had serious health problems. One has a chronic serious health condition that took a long period of ill health where I struggled to get answers before diagnosis (think epilepsy or similar) and had a very serious acute op as a small child (bowel resection after sudden obstruction). My third child had a dramatic blood disorder (Henoch-Schönlein purpura) that is now sorted and also two episodes of chest pain one of which was pericarditis.

I developed severe health related anxiety pertaining to my child when my epileptic child was awaiting diagnosis, and ended up on sertraline, which I stopped taking about 6 months ago. We have had a quiescent period in terms of everyone has been ticking over health-wise apart from coughs and colds etc

Last night my third child, now a teenager who is usually very self sufficient, came to me in pain and distress over his ear. He wanted a cuddle which is unheard of. When I examined his ear he had removed some wax (suffers badly with wax) and irritated his ear canal. It was producing copious quantities of clear, slightly bloodstained discharge and was hurting with a pulsating pain. I gave him paracetamol, asked him if he felt generally unwell (no) checked he had no fever (he didn't). Reassured him and sent him to bed. And then had an anxiety attack that lasted about ten hours. I was unable to sleep until after 3:30 am, kept getting waves of fear in relation to him, imagining him developing sepsis or me finding him dead in the morning. I knew I was being irrational. I had waves of nausea and 4 bouts of diarrhea. My Fitbit shows that my heart rate (resting heart 68) varied between 85 and 120 the entire night. I had not had any alcohol.

This morning he is much better, his ear having discharged most of the fluid during the night. I am a complete wreck and struggled through work (luckily a short day for me).

Is this PTSD from the trauma of all those times it was a serious illness? From when I was fobbed off in relation to the symptoms my other child had that were put down to a virus or COVID but which were actually the visible symptoms of a very serious condition that my child had to deteriorate significantly while I watched helplessly before they got diagnosed? Or just plain health anxiety that got triggered because I have also been busy at work, am a bit tired and run down etc? I can't have waves of fear time after time every time someone in my family has a minor illness. Could counselling help?

Apologies for long post, didn't want to drip feed.

The only people who can diagnose PTSD are psychiatrists and clinical psychologists, following a referral from your GP - probably a very lengthy process. Do you think a formal diagnosis would help? Or would you prefer to look at it as a one off episode, triggered by all the factors you listed?

Therapy could certainly help with the health related anxiety - it is very understandable given everything you've been though but it would give you the tools and knowledge to cope with it.

Op would it help to get the ear checked? For peace of mind?

No, his ear is fine! He is in no pain, limited discharge, no fever. It was just my body reacting in a wholly unexpected way to what I knew rationally was vanishing unlikely to be a serious situation....but then we have had a series of vanishingly unlikely scenarios that HAVE occurred, like a belly ache that WAS a blockage, a rash that WAS a potentially fatal blood condition, chest pains that WERE heart related...etc.

I'm not doctor and it very well could he ptsd but I suffer with ocd and I would say it could also be a form. Could also he health anxiety. Either way a trip to your gp to discuss will do more good than harm. Look after yourself!

My daughter has had a complexity of health issues for which she has now been diagnosed with Complex PTSD as she had tried for 8 years to get someone to believe her, she’s now 28, it was endometriosis, so bad she has had a hysterectomy. The way she was treated by the gynaecologist really didn’t help her, absolute knob. She also has a benign brain tumour and another neurological illness, it never ends.

Anyways I decided to help her, sertraline wasn’t helping her anymore for her panic attacks , she was quickly deteriorating and not coping mentally. I paid for a psychiatrist through a company called psychiatry UK, this is where the CPTSD diagnosis came from, due to the trauma and constantly being in fight or flight mode. She also has counselling which is an NHS service, you can find your local provider by looking on IAPT which can direct you to your local talking therapy provider.

I too feel like yourself, that horrible feeling of dread and here we go again another battle to get answers, it’s totally bloody exhausting. But every time there’s been a situation we’ve been right, I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve been to A&E or various specialists, you couldn’t make it up. I often think why us! Can’t we just have a quiet life and healthy children, life is pretty bloody shitty.

I totally get where you’re coming from, I had CBT many years ago to deal with my diagnosis of M.S, I swear it’s this experience and skills learnt that's keeping me from losing it. And the kids always want their MUM, unfortunately 🤷‍♀️

If you’re not on the pill or HRT St John’s Wort helps, I can’t take it now due to HRT, I now take Valarian as it doesn’t interfere it, it really does help lift your mood.

Finding the strength constantly is so hard, you may find talking therapy really helps. You complete an assessment and they have a chat over the phone and determine which therapist is the best fit for your needs. I wish you all the best and a big hug, you’re doing the hardest job in the world, finding the best care for your children.