I don’t know what to put as a title

[Isabeltessvalerie]

Here were my possible titles

I hate being a mum - true in a lot of ways

I regret having another child

I am a really bad parent

I honestly don’t know what to put as the title, the above are all true. I have a 3 year old and 6 month old and honestly I feel like I am hanging on by a thread to my sanity most days. I am so irritated by them both and I do try really really hard to do nice things for and with them and not to let the mask slip but it does and then I feel so awful.

I know the following are normal but these are the things I struggle so much with

• the 3 year old constant talking but it’s mostly gibberish (I know that sounds unkind and I don’t mean it to) it’s just a constant stream of random nonsense and it’s so jarring
• the baby constantly whining and grizzling, I can’t out the baby down but equally when held is similarly discontent, literally thrashing around and screaming. I’m at the point where I spend most of the day out of the house to try to avoid having to sit holding an angry baby. But in itself that’s miserable in January.
• the mess, oh god the mess. I can never find anything or even DO anything.
• lack of sleep, which I know is at the heart of many of these problems.

there are more … I know it’s normal. I know it is. And I do know that but I could weep on the knowledge that this is my life for the next 3 years at least.

You need to tell people IRL what you've written here - starting with your partner. I'm sure far more experienced posters will be along shortly with advice and words of wisdom (and techniques!) but please don't suffer in silence.

Thanks for replying. I appreciate it. There isn’t anyone I could open up to about this, hence doing so anonymously.

Have a look at loop earplugs. They have ones that are actually aimed at parents because they dull the noise but don't cut it out. Makes whining / constant talking / baby screaming a little bit more tolerable.
Hang in there. It does get easier as they get bigger. Also like you said it's January so everything is cold and muddy and shit. In just a couple of months it will be spring and you guys could spend the whole day in the park with a picnic 🙂

Didn’t want to read and run. Mine are a wee bit older now, and it must have passed because I went on to have a third. 🤪
it will pass, little ones are really bloody hard work. You’re doing great! They are fine. Sod the mess. But, I do agree that you should tell someone, friend, partner, family member. I went a wee bit loopy when number 3 was two years old, literally one day couldn’t get out of bed any more. Apparently everyone was shocked because they all assumed I’d handled it so well. Speak out. Maybe even the GP to see if they can take the edge of things. Medication might help. X

Hi op

I could have written your post. I have a 2 year old and 10 month old who both sound the same as yours. My two year old constantly shouts mummy mummy all day long for no reason and always needs something as children do. My 10 month old is very clingy and doesn't stray far from my feet like yours when lifted she just try's to jump out of my arms or rolls about, she likes to moan and scream a lot.

This weeks been quite tough and I could honestly just crawl into a ball and cry myself to sleep it feels completely relentless. Every day feels the same. Unlike you I struggle to get out of the house because my 2 year old won't go into the pram and just try's to run away when walking, he also fights me to get dressed even though he wants a walk that I just can't face it at times.

I've silently said to myself how I regret having my youngest which is so horrible to say but she is completely different to my other two and I'm just broken. My youngest is nearly walking so I hope they brings some peace for her and she can play around a bit more.

I'm back to work next month after 2 years off and looking forward to it, although only part time. These years are hard but they do pass which doesn't ease our despair now I know.

Just to add I've honestly give up with the ends and grubby fingerprints everywhere and constant crumbs and water spilled.

Parenting young kids is relentless and it feels like the days drag on, I remember it well (mine are 13 & 9 now) but I'm also pregnant with my 3rd due in May, and I'm honestly dreading the toddler days 😑. But I also know that it's such a short period time that they're tiny and I will do my absolute best to treasure it ( still terrified).

Does your partner help when he's home? As its important for you to have time to unwind aswell xx

You’re all lovely. Had such a low moment earlier where I just felt like I was doing such a rubbish job. Three year old comes in from nursery and it’s just jabber jabber jabber bur not the conversations I envisioned before becoming a mum 😂 I thought my child would confide in me about friendships and ask interesting questions but no I get ‘mummy there’s fireman Sam’ at the clock - what?

@padmo ah it’s so tough, I have actually found three easier than two. But I know I expect more from him than he can give which isn’t fair … then I feel so guilty. I really do love them but sometimes I just want them away from me and I don’t even understand it myself.

Hi OP,

So sorry you’re feeling this way. I had similar feelings, and did the PH9-Q test, which highlighted to me that I had depression (postnatal). Six months of sertraline changed my bloody life. I had no idea I was depressed, just thought it was the usual strain of motherhood.

https://patient.info/doctor/patient-health-questionnaire-phq-9

❤️