I don’t have kids, but I have self harmed (I say have but it’s more of long term comes and goes sort of thing for me).
I started about age 9, fairly consistent until 14 when it escalated. No one ever found out until I was 23. 14-23 mine was largely on, as opposed to off. Age 22 it escalated again. People only found out because I just stopped caring about hiding it. The past year (I’m late 20s now), it’s deescalated again, not stopped but not a whole lot of an issue now. I think about doing it often, but I just think, as much as I want to, it’s too much hassle.
for me, I’m not really sure why, I am autistic and have various significant mental health issues, but I’d never heard of it when I started doing it. It varied why I did it, as in the direct effects.
self harm is not necessarily wanting to die or trying to die, it’s often a way to not die, or sometimes people who self harm has no relation to wanting to die. It can change and go between these things but sometimes it doesn’t. It might escalate but equally it might not.
some teenagers do it for a bit and never do it as an adult. Others it will continue for a long time. There’s no rule as such.
I could never express a reason for it, it was just that I wanted/needed/deserved it, not always in a bad way but in a if I do this I’ll feel better.
I realise now, in this moment, it’s not at all a good coping mechanism and I don’t condone it in anyway. But it does just take over, it’s very much an addiction for a lot of people. But for a long time I did think it was a good idea and it was helping. I think that much less now but I still have my moments.
im not really sure what im trying to say, apart from maybe give some insight. I’ve tried to be vague and not specific, so hopefully what I’ve written is okay.