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Recovery from breakdown #2

17 replies

EmmaEmerald · 22/01/2024 20:53

Hi all

in August I started a thread about recovering from a breakdown

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/feelingdepressed/4874943-recovering-from-breakdown?page=14

I just wondered how everyone was.

I am not sure how realistic I am being in my plans/hopes

To summarise

  • I no longer take meds. I benefited greatly for 20 years but found changing problematic. Then I had to a "clearout" in order to go back to my old ones and felt it wasn't worth it. I am also convinced that meds have a strong link to all the weight I gained, and a number of other concerns which a few people raised on the thread at the time. So no meds since Nov/Dec now.
  • I don't feel my brain is anywhere near 100%, maybe 50%? I can do about half the work I did in a day, and when I sit at my desk the following day, I often can't remember what I did yesterday. There is an extra factor here in that I now live in a much smaller flat, so have no way of having a big display of plans, diary and reminders. It might be the loss of this facility is a big factor. I am looking at solutions.
  • my handwriting is awful, it used to be good. This will be connected to brainpower or lack of it.
  • I don't remember a lot of things that happened before the breakdown and for a lot of last summer.

My doctor is not thrilled about me stopping medication, but said from the start that his most optimistic assessment was for me to be "just approaching normality" by spring.

So I wondered how others are doing. I really want to be back at 100% but with hindsight, there's a bigger link with lockdown and ensuing damage to my life than I realised...even though I thought I knew it. So it feels like the mum problems came right on top of that. Though they were pretty awful..

Going forward, I want to try meditation properly, and get back to daily exercise, but that still feels like climbing a mountain.

I tried other brain stuff, nootropics, but many contain caffeine or green tea, which I can't tolerate. I don't know if it's placebo but I tried coenyme q10, it seemed to help for a couple of days and then nothing.

All advice welcome. I realise getting out of the pit is probably the hardest part, and due to various things, I thought I was having another breakdown in November. (False alarm).

my life is quite good now, (apart from the lost friends) but it's as if I can't see the positives.

Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 23/01/2024 00:07

hopeful bump

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 23/01/2024 11:38

Another bump....

OP posts:
Einevinefine · 23/01/2024 11:44

Can’t offer any sage words but I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this. I identified w so much of your post.

Will be following and am wishing you the best xx

EmmaEmerald · 23/01/2024 12:22

@Einevinefine thank you.

feels a bit "is there anybody out there" at the mo!

OP posts:
Helplessandheartbroke · 23/01/2024 16:19

Hey op,

Sorry I wasn't on the original thread but happy to join this as I too am suffering. I have ocd and general anxiety, on meds but not kicked in. Your old link has been lost. Do you want to share what happened with your breakdown or is it too much? I'm sure I had one myself a few weeks ago. Sending hugs

EmmaEmerald · 23/01/2024 16:26

@Helplessandheartbroke Thank you

I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. I initially wasn't sure what happened to me either, it's weird, right?

I'm sure that link wasn't broken last night, how odd, sorry.

I don't really want to go into it, I'm really looking for advice on how to get from the 50% function I seem to have atm, back up to normal. If anyone has any suggestions, that would be great.

Particularly interested to hear if anyone finds any supplements good, I really can't face trying more meds.

OP posts:
tweedlledum · 23/01/2024 16:32

I don't know about breakdown but I have had a tough time over the last year or so, which has taken a toll in various ways. I found a lot of benefit from taking magnesium, zinc and spatone daily. I found I was quite deficient in all and sleeping improved after 2 weeks, which was half of the battle. Hope things improve further for you and try not to rush things.

Helplessandheartbroke · 23/01/2024 16:38

Sorry op I'm you last year then and I'm at 0% so I can't offer any advice I'm afraid. So you work? Have hobbies? Exercise?

EmmaEmerald · 23/01/2024 17:00

@Helplessandheartbroke When I was 0% I had to sleep a lot, I hope you get the chance to do that?

I work for myself, didn't work at all for about 3 months but can't continue like that.
I don't mind actually, I felt fine to restart but certainly not meeting my usual standards. After I've done it for the day, I don't feel able to do anything else.

I did exercise regularly and had hobbies, nothing big. But interestingly, I dug out my sketchbook from 2023 and I was amazed at how much was in it....I don't remember doing it! This is pre-breakdown though.

I started work at 3pm today as I literally couldn't get my brain in gear, so please bear with me if I don't reply, as I now need to work till at least 8.

I suppose I thought getting out of the hole was the hardest bit but it doesn't feel like that now (though I have probably forgotten how hard it was).I realise that lack of exercise is an issue but it seems work and daily life uses up all my mental energy. Winter isn't helping I guess.

I don't drive so all my errands are done on foot so I am out walking everyday unless it's pouring, but the idea of returning to the exercise (which I used to love) is completely overwhelming.

@tweedlledum I take magnesium. I take zinc occasionally when I have a cold and it upsets my stomach? I will try spatone iron, my bloods are fine but I have heard many people say extra iron is good. Thank you.

OP posts:
Leafstamp · 23/01/2024 17:07

Hi @EmmaEmerald

I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling to get to where you want to be. You’re not alone. Personally, I swear by exercise - anything that appeals to you, I try to do a mixture. It’s not a miracle cure (I’m not where I want to be either), but it’s worth a go if you’re not already doing it, and maybe worth trying different activities if you’re already doing something.

The other thing I’d say is that all of this stuff does take time and I’m learning to not put pressure in myself.

Have you had any therapy? Read any self help books? Might be worth a peruse if the local library to see if anything jumps out. Or asking for recommendations here.

Kielyflower · 23/01/2024 17:14

I can understand that the handwriting and memory stuff must be really difficult but I think you should try not to fixate on those things. Easier said than done I know.

I agree with the above that things can take some time. Taking small steps is a good place to start. Doing more of things you enjoy and less of the things you don’t. Being kind to yourself.

Not sure if that helps.

Helplessandheartbroke · 23/01/2024 17:22

Hey op, no I don't get to sleep as my son is asd and doesn't need much sleep unfortunately.

Some really good advice on here. Glad you've managed to get back to work. I think walking and reading etc helps. Making time for yourself, nice hot bubble baths etc. Maybe book a short break? Something to look forward to?

EmmaEmerald · 23/01/2024 20:15

Sorry this is long...

@Helplessandheartbroke Oh, you have my sympathies. It's a complicated business though. I went straight back to work after a breakdown about 20 years ago, because in those days, it had to be done or the rent wouldn't be paid. I sometimes think that was a shorter period of problems due to being forced into working?

@Leafstamp Re self help books, I've been in treatment for depression and anxiety for decades, so it feels like been there, done that. I'm not yet at the level of executing the things that help but I really want to get there.
After I posted last night, I wrote down a list of things I achieved last year. It was much longer than I was expecting! I think the breakdown has made my perception of things go skewiff.

I know from experience daily exercise is great but I need to get up to better functioning to achieve that.

My best friend is working at director level and also dealing with elderly parent issues, but she gets up early and exercises no matter what. She drinks a lot of coffee but I find it gives me the jitters.

I had a chat with my sister just now and she suggested renting an office space for better focus. There might be something in that....

I've been mostly working at home since 2016 and it is is much better than commuting and battling the nuisances of an office. So I love it, but it is hard in a much smaller flat. (It's very small). I'd have to learn to work differently if I did that.

Routine is the next thing to look at probably. I have become very undisciplined. I miss Efficient Emma! She's been AWOL for 8 months and the life admin then accumulates, so I've got a pile of that too.

@Kielyflower The reason I mention handwriting and memory is that I often think "I am so much better now" but those are big signs that still a way to go. I'm normally the person you come to if you want invitations written. Now i'm squinting at my own handwriting!

Thanks everyone, it really helps to hear from people who have been there.

I think it's crucial to be careful who you talk to. No one in my industry knows I had a breakdown, it was related to caring for mum after she had a stroke, so they think I took time off to focus on mum. They don't know she was placed in respite care so I could get myself back on my feet!

Re fun, I've posted about loneliness a lot. I just have to accept that no matter how much I'd benefit from a fun night out, those people are gone and I've tried the "meeting people" exercise and it is miserable. I do stuff on my own but I don't like going away alone. (Can't go with sister because then there's no one for mum emergencies).

If I can give myself a boost, getting back into exercise and artwork will probably get me up the next rung of the ladder...

Thanks so much for listening, much appreciated, these boards are MN at its best. I'm going to post separately about trying nootropics but probably not on here as the people taking them will be across the whole board I guess.

OP posts:
Helplessandheartbroke · 23/01/2024 20:31

Sounds like you've got some things to help on the road to recovery op. Wishing you the best of luck!

EmmaEmerald · 23/01/2024 21:07

@Helplessandheartbroke you too 💐

OP posts:
TreeHuggerMum1 · 24/01/2024 08:01

Hey Em.
Mind if I ask how old you are? Could peri-m be catching up with you?
44 here and really took a massive dip last summer. I’m now on an SSRI, HRT and recently started testosterone. I don’t feel 100%, just have to take each day as it comes.
Sending a hug.

Ilovedogs1 · 24/01/2024 09:03

@EmmaEmerald I was on your thread last year. I had a complete breakdown, didn't work for 8 months, even took an overdose (although not a serious attemp).
I like the way you mention getting to the next rung of the ladder. Not feeling great the last few days and your ladder analogy makes me think of snakes and ladders. Atm I feel like this, as if you climb a few ladders then fall back down the snakes. Finding my positiveness a bit lacking atm.

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