Supporting someone....help

[CharlotteBog]

A friend is struggling hugely with personality disorder.
She is messaging me telling me things that I do not know are true.
I don't know what to do.
It doesn't feel right to agree with her, nor to dismiss how she feels.
I have asked her to call her MH supporter, but she's saying they are useless.

I am at work. I am a bit in over my head.
Help.

Update: I won't say too much here.
I was able to leave work for a bit, collect her and take her home, where her husband was.
She is safe.

There are a wealth of websites and organisations that can assist you and your friend.
www.mhm.org.uk
www.mind.org.uk
www.mentalhealth.org.uk
etc.

I would suggest getting an urgent GP appointment, but you are more likely to get an audience with the Pope and King Charles on a pedalo in Mozambique, so in the meantime, are there any internal resources to employ?

Occupational Health Assessment?
Any Employee Assist Program?

Thank you @Clarence2000
The day after I posted, my friend spiralled and has been in hospital since. She seems more stable now (we talk via whatsapp).
I have also been able to talk to a friend who knows her much better than I do, who was able to reassure me about certain things.
She has a long history of difficulties and I felt out of my depth somewhat.

She's such a lovely woman, it saddens me that things are so hard for her at times.

It’s lovely that you are so supportive @CharlotteBog 🩵

Would it help to have her husbands number?

I think you can acknowledge that she feels things without them necessarily being ‘true’

I am a volunteer counsellor for children, and it can be hard when someone’s reality isn’t yours, and you don’t know if what they are saying is true, and it might not be helpful, as you say, to challenge/try to correct them. We are taught to validate what they say (“I can hear that you think/see/feel…..”) and encourage them to contact their support network. Often that’s the reaction, my MH support is useless. Sometimes it is useless, of course, but sometimes it isn’t giving them what they need.

Can you have access to the support to tell them if this happens again? Or indeed ask them what, in their professional opinion, it’s best for you to do? I’m glad your friend is safe.

I don't have a personality disorder, but have suffered severely with anxiety, depression, and bipolar, and still struggle with PTSD. I have always found it reassuring when I have been particularly ill, for people around me to behave normally, and to not being dismissive of how I feel. If you disagree with something your friend says, just politely say you personally feel that isn't the case. I would only consider lying or going along with something I knew to be wrong if they were, for example, psychotic, and disagreement could lead to volatility. There are lots of sources of information online if you are looking for specialist guidance. GL

Well
Done op
On doing something at that crucial time your friend needed help.

After having spent years helping a family member with mental health issues it's so hard and over whelming for them and family /friends but I can tell you her family will be v grateful having friends like you that have helped.

@DRS1970 i hope you don’t mind me asking- but have you any other suggestions of how to support a friend who is going through a MH crisis? Good friend is diagnosed bipolar for around 20 years but her medication changes last year sent her into a crisis and although she has avoided hospital so far she’s struggling. She has said sometimes she feels she can’t keep herself safe and has a daily check in with MH nurse. I feel so helpless and like a crappy friend. Anything I can do or anything you found a help?

@fourelementary Hi, you sound like a caring friend rather than a crappy one. Medication changes can be a double edged sword, and sometimes you go through so many to get to the right one for you. If you are worried about your friends safety you could covertly check she is still ok by starting an online game with her which is turn based. Something like Lexulous or Words with friends could be good. If she plays a turn you know she is ok, and it could also serve as a distraction, plus you can often chat with each other in the game. Small pleasant surprises are often good too, think taking a coffee and cake around or the likes. I wouldn't go too overboard though as that could be a bit overwhelming. Baby steps. Of course it will vary from person to person what works best, that is just my personal experience. GL