don't fit in

[pepperkinski]

Hello everyone,
Am new to this so please bear with me...
My little boy is 7 weeks on Friday and he's wonderful - very placid, happy and healthy, which is a relief after a very stressful pregnancy, where I was made redundant from my job, tore a ligament in my groin and then developed pre eclampsia. Labour was pretty awful, too.
I'm feeling a little bit low today as I went for Xmas drinks to some NCT class mates house last night and it hit me hard how me and my partner don't really fit in. We don't have a nice house we own (we rent), we're not married.
I thought I'd make good friends through NCT but the more I spend time with the people I met (who are all very nice, but not quite me) the lonlier I feel.
But think I might just be feeling down as it's so dark this time of year, the weather's rubbish and Xmas is a lonely time of the year for me.
Sorry. All a bit jumbled and rambly but needed to get it off my chest.
And have the mother in law staying who doesn't give me much room to breathe
x

Oh pepper, I really know how you feel. I felt like you when I met people at mums & tots groups. 7 weeks is still very new (congratulations), is he your first?

I know that feeling pepper, can be depressing can't it? On the up side, you're bound to find loads of like minded people on mumsnet and can meet up with them instead X

Sorry hit send before I'd finished.

Do you have any other friends (even if they don't have children)

Does your HV run a mother and baby group. I met a lot of my friends who have children the same age as mine that way. Also try toddler groups although they are for mainly older children you might meet some mothers with toddlers who also have a newborn. It is hard at this time of the year and most groups etc close down for the holidays. I hope someone comes along soon with some better advice for you. Take Care xx

Another thought, where abouts are you, there may be a MN meetup near you that you could go a long to?

Our NCT class was like that. They were all soooooper successful and bit older than me with beoooooooootiful homes. We rent a dump in Spitalfields but we are happier and funnier than them.

NCT does attract the cosy middle classes.

Go to another baby group or something.

I met my very down to earth close mate at NCT but tbh the others there were just like you describe pepperkinski. Very nice but not my type. And I wasn't theirs so no probs there then

You'll meet lots of new mums who are once you find your feet and get to other groups. I envy you if you get to a mumsnet meet as there's loads of lovely mums on here. I haven't managed it yet as don't think there's anyone near me........

thanks for the replies

I live in south east london, and have made a friends with a couple of like minded mums round the area. Just feel a lot of pressure to meet up with the NCT bunch, yet always feel so left out when I meet them.

Suzystockings - yes, he's my first. And I love him so much and have taken to motherhood a lot more than I thought I would, so it's not all doom and gloom!!

Oh I think there's a few meet ups round that way, check out the meetup area.

I would also try the HV's suggestions for m & t groups as suggested by flumberry..

Ps. I felt like that about dd. Weird isn't it, my friends still say they always thought I was the least maternal and they still can't quite believe it.

Would just like to say we're quite cosy middle class but I NEVER joined NCT .. I went along to the local post-natal group .. ask your HV .. with DS and made some great normal friends with the best stories about horror NCT meetings

it gets better honestly

lots of mnetters in SE London BTW