Worth risking precarious mental health?

[soscared123]

I really need some perspective and advice on what I should do as ii can't think clearly or rationally at the moment.

Had a series of awful life events over the last few years culminating in DH's business going into liquidation and losing our main source of income.
I had managed to cope with most of the things that happened but the liquidation really tipped me over the edge; worrying about DH, DC and keeping a roof over our heads.

I am under the GP for depression, panic attacks and heart palpitations but am just about managing to keep working as many hours as I can.

I work in retail, it's NMW but I really enjoy it, get on well with colleagues and has actually been a good distraction to all the other shit.
The problem is I am only contracted to work 10 hours a week, I pick up a lot more through overtime but it's not guaranteed.
The need for a consistent income and hours led me to apply for other jobs and I have been offered a full time temp to permanent job.

This should be a positive thing but has thrown me into a series of horrible panic attacks with my mind spinning on all the potential negative aspects. I can't sleep and whichever way I look at what I should do I am terrified.

What if I resign from where I am and I hate the new job or I can't cope?
How will I cope not seeing my colleagues/friends who have and continue to be an amazing support.
How will we manage for money if I stay where I am and hope for the best?
Is it really worth risking making my MH worse by moving at this point or should I wait? Or would some financial stability be the answer?
The hourly wage is the same as what I am currently on but 40 hours pw.

I don't know what to do and am so scared about making the wrong decision it's making me ill

Hopeful bump

What if I resign from where I am and I hate the new job or I can't cope?

You can go back to your old job, or something similar. But what if you love the new job instead?

How will I cope not seeing my colleagues/friends who have and continue to be an amazing support.

You make sure you stay in touch with the ones who mean the most to you - they won't vanish!

Any step into the unknown is scary and a challenge but remember, you wouldn't have been offered the job if you hadn't had the skills and attributes the new employers were looking for. You didn't make the wrong decision in applying for this job so try to trust yourself a little more 😊

Thank you. I think Ive had so much trauma over the last few years I was only just about coping with stable parameters.
The thought of making a huge change has thrown me into utter panic

Are there not any other jobs you can apply for at the same place (e.g. supervisor roles)?

Can you not ask to up your contracted hours?

What does the new job entail? Is it a similar role?

I completely understand your concern but stepping out of your comfort zone doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Weigh up your options and think about the positives of potentially changing jobs.

Please take a few deep breaths op this is wonderful news!
You are too stressed (understandably ) to see that, your anxiety is causing these thoughts, try hard to focus on all the good things this will mean,

Securing your home, this is huge!
possibly having a bit over to have nice days out with Dh and Dcs
being able to relax at night..

Think about what around the new role you will need to look after yourself, ie coming home to a meal and tidy house, DH to do bedtimes, time to relax evenings and go to bed early...whatever you need...
Then talk to DH and put this in place....now you are the breadwinner he needs to support you at home...

I understand re your colleagues but you can make time to see them, make times to speak during the day etc...they are not going anywhere...

I've been thinking this over and given that it is temporary for 3 months would it be u reasonable to negotiate a 4.5 day week until the permanent position is confirmed?
That way I could still hang on to my current job (I'm only contracted 7 hours pw) and at least have that security if the new role didn't work out.

You are very articulate OP so is there a chance of promotion where you are?

No nothing available and actually I wouldn't want it. My one last option would be to see if there is any way I can be offered more contracted hours but I think it's unlikely.

I think this is a really good idea. You could spin it by saying you would like to hold on to your permanent job if only a few hours a week until the temp job has become permanent. They might agree to that. A trial for both parties.

I have a different view to the PPs as someone with mental health issues (and tbf I have physical health issues as well). This:

“I work in retail, it's NMW but I really enjoy it, get on well with colleagues”

Is worth its weight in gold. Especially if you have health issues. A micro manager, difficult colleagues or just people you don’t get on with, or a job you don’t enjoy as much could make the difference between being able to work the number of hours you are currently and not being able to work at all.

The other massive benefit with your current job (which is also the downside you mention but can be looked at from the other side) is that if you are struggling with your mental health you have the flexibility to only work 10 hours for a period of time if you needed to without having to take sick leave or negotiate reduced hours with an employer which is difficult and can be very stressful. If you need to do this or your hew job (or you are generally struggling with your mental health) then you need to factor in that you also have less job security in your first two years. Even more so while on a temp contract.

You’ve also said this:

“but am just about managing to keep working as many hours as I can.”

What does this mean in practice. Can you manage a 40 hr week (which is a lot tbh) week in week out?

Personally the fact that your mental health has spiralled like this just from the offer of a new job suggests to me you are still quite fragile. So if I were in your position, if I couldn’t do the trial while retaining my old job, I would try to stick with what I have currently, work more on my mental health generally and then look again for an alternative role when I was feeling a bit more robust.

Thank you @WhatNoUsername you've summed it up perfectly.
I've gone back to the agency and proposed a temporary 4.5 day week. I don't fancy my chances of them accepting but worth a go

So I proposed the arrangement and it was rejected. The company wants me to commit to the full 40 hours.
I could potentially see if I can move my existing hours to a weekend but that would mean a 6 day working week