OCD?

[Usa18]

I am in my 40s and have suffered with OCD (undiagnosed) since the time I remember, it started with the regular germs phobia when I was around 15. I have had a difficult life unfortunately, and life stressors makes it much worse for me. I married someone who has undiagnosed adhd and ocd and he accepts it. He is a good person and works hard but unfortunately both of our life have become very difficult after marriage because of many impulsive decisions. Individually, we both were excelling in our life with our jobs and social life before marriage and we thought after marriage we will have a great and an easy life but unfortunately, things became worse very soon after marriage because of series of impulsive decisions. I lost my career, confidence, social life and unfortunately, due to some unforeseen traumatic experience with no fault of either of us, it has taken a toll on my ocd. I believe I have a kind of ocd where I do "catastrophizing". I try to contain it but it's like my brain cannot stop. I wanna take CBT but not sure how effective it is. I try to rationalise whenever I get OCD thoughts that if I cannot do anything about the situation stop thinking and if I can do anything then do it and be ready to accept consequences even if its negative because that is life. I know ocd is a lifelong condition and there is no cure. The purpose of my post is did anyone with ocd take any therapy and how much it helped them? Also, does anyone know any OCD support group? Thanks!

Hey. I have diagnosed OCD. I've had it since childhood and I'm 45 now. I've had many, many different themes over the years. Resources I would recommend are Shannon Shy (OCD can be defeated) FB page. He also has a couple of books published on his own OCD experience. Bryony Gordon, she is a journalist who also has lifelong OCD, her book Madgirl is wonderful. OCD Action is an OCD charity with an online forum you can join. Also Google Rose Breteche she is another person with OCD herself. X

I have OCD and it is mainly around obsessive thoughts. Have you thought about taking medication?

@Ilovedogs1 thank you for all your inputs! I will look at this fb page.

@Scutterbug yes I did think about medication because at times when I am obsessing over something and can't seem to stop my obsessive thoughts, I start getting headaches. I tend to overthink everything, I always read between the lines, want things in a certain way or other people to do things related to me in a certain way, it's just horrible. OCD do have it's perks too because when I had a job i excelled in it but the negatives are far worse. Sometimes I think only if I can switch off my brain. How easy is it to get medication, I know first I have to get a formal diagnosis. Thanks!

I have undiagnosed ocd intrusive thoughts also (only because I've been scared to talk)
Always different themes too. It can be absolutely draining. I am here to support and watch for advice too x

@User628291938949 OCD thoughts are awful isn't? My thoughts usually involves someone trying to spoil my life or harm me or my child. Unfortunately, because I have had a tough life for no fault of my own and some people have hurt me really bad, I get these thoughts. OCD just makes the whole thing so much worse.

@Usa18 I could have wrote this. I have awful thoughts of people ruining my life and everything thinking I'm this terrible person. I also get them on being poorly too.
Everything I do think or say revolves around my off and anxiety. It's draining I get headaches and body pains it's ridiculous.
Are you on medication

@User628291938949 I am not on any medication but I do know CBT also works for it or medication. I haven't been to GP to ever speak about this, unless we get a formal diagnosis I don't think they will give medication. Some of the ocd thoughts were so insane at certain times that i feel like a fool thinking about them now. Not always, but at times I have cried because I knew my thoughts were totally illogical but all I could do was the vicious circle of it play it on my mind like a recorder.

Yeah same when you look back it feels strange but at the time feeling them it feels so real!
Honestly social media sends my ocd up the wall x

@User628291938949 if you look on OCD Action on the forum you will be amazed at the range of intrusive thoughts people get.
I've found it amazing when I've opened up about my thoughts how many other people suffer the same or similar.

I struggle to open up from trauma tbh I told a friend ( who I thought was one) my thoughts years ago and now I panic that everyone thinks I'm the thoughts doesn't make sense but to me it does. And when I was in a real bad place I told more people for reassurance and it messed me up

This sounds very like me but I have diagnosed Bipolar disorder, OCD thinking and ADHD is a big part of the presentation, something I didn't always understand. I mention this because of the impulsive spending & impusive/compulsive thoughts and behaviour. I was 40 before I was correctly diagnosed and masked for years and years. I still mask but incredible treatment has changed my life in the last 20 years, I'd urge you to explore assessment for a correct treatment for the thoughts and behaviours that concern you. There are effective treatments for OCD but many other diagnoses overlap.

Thankyou I'll look into it, honestly my thoughts are all over the place. I always think everyone hates me or is out to get me. Also I hate numbers and I have to have things in a certain order and tough things etc it's exhausting

@PTSDBarbiegirl my husband has ocd and adhd (both undiagnosed), and i have ocd. I was never the one with impulsive decisions, I worked hard before marriage, once we got married it didn't help my career because he is impulsive. We both were from different countries and unfortunately, because I am not really assertive, I just go by other people's decisions which led to we going to different countries every 1 year and the unstable environment spoiled my good career. I didn't know he has adhd before marriage because we got married too soon after dating. He knows he has adhd but refuses to get a diagnosis. He has left his job every 2 years even before his marriage, I was the one who liked stability because it helped my ocd. Now my ocd is worse because of the unstable environment. I know we both have to take treatment. Even I mask a lot, none of my friends will still know that I have ocd because all the thoughts are on my mind whereas my husband's ocd is very visible to outsiders, he does mask his adhd symptoms though.

Hi OP, a GP will likely be able to give you a diagnosis and prescribe anti-depressants if you'd like them. Unlikely that they'd refer you to a psychiatrist for this. (I have OCD, treated with medication via GP.) So would be worth trying to get an appointment if you feel up to it. I'm on citalopram and it helps.

Have also had CBT over phone, which was helpful - it can be pretty effective for OCD, but sometimes medication and therapy together is the most powerful combination.

I think it's quite hard with OCD as it can vary so much so different things work for different people. My OCD is focused on doing things equally with both sides of my body if that makes sense - so open a door with my left hand, must open the next one with my right. Step on a pavement crack with left foot, next one must be the right. Etc etc. It was worse in my teens and 20s as then I had to do everything in sets of four on both sides - keeping count pretty much took over my life! I don't however have germ phobia or other intrusive thoughts.

I have just been to a mental health retreat (along the lines of the Priory) and had CBT, DBT and an amazing therapist. I'm also taking Mirtazapine. I have some other mental health issues so it wasn't all focused on OCD but I definitely have less of an issue with OCD after the DBT and CBT.

@wp65 thank you! I will make an appointment with the GP and hopefully they will prescribe medication.

Hey op. I'm currently on fluoxitine for my ocd and have started cbt but I'm not yet sure it's for me. Are you in America?

@Helplessandheartbroke I am in the UK (I know my profile name is misleading but once upon a time I was in America). I always wanted to know how CBT works, i always thought it worked like this - so hypothetically, if someone is obsessing over getting sacked in a job (my husband actually does it for every single job which makes me crazy), do they tell you to think about best case and worst case scenario of our obsessive thoughts and if we can do anything about it and if we can't control it so no point obsessing? Or cbt is more than this?

I have had ocd since I was a child and medication has been a game changer for me. I take an SSRI and also an anti-psychotic which helps with the thoughts a lot.
id suggest looking into ERP, you can do the techniques yourself if you research a lot about it.

for ocd CBT would be more about not acting on the thoughts- no one will tell you to stop obsessing because that's impossible, but the compulsions feed the obsessions and that's what causes those with ocd to get stuck in the loop of ocd.
so for your example about the job- there will be compulsions (probably mental compulsions rather than physical) that he'd be doing (maybe trying to go over and over his performance in the job in his mind, trying to remember if his boss seemed annoyed, checking to see if he'd made any mistakes etc stuff like that) so therapy would focus on having the thought "I might get sacked" and then resisting the compulsions.

@Hadebough thanks for your reply, that makes sense. He actually does the mental obsession things you mentioned especially looking at his boss to see if they are annoyed/ not happy or reading between the lines of everything his boss says and thinks he will be sacked and he is in the same position at present which is again impacting my mental health. I have never felt so stressed when I had a job like the way he stresses me out for his job. He actually never has got sacked in his job but he still would change his job every 2 years because of a reason I don't understand but in his mind he is rational.
The amount of financial loss we have incurred because of his ocd is ridiculous. His is totally uncontrolled, mine was controlled when I was working which again thanks to him, he spoiled it. Now being with him mine is uncontrolled. I don't know how to make him understand the importance of diagnosis and medication because he totally refuses it, he even talks about ocd like it's a gift for him. Sometimes I think why do I need medication, if I leave him I will be better off. He doesn't wanna leave me and refuses to to get a diagnosis also. I will look into ERP, thanks.

Op I'm not sure how cbt works tbh I've had 2 sessions and don't understand it. If you're unhappy in your relationship it may contribute to your MH. I would speak to your gp