Are these hallucinations or night terrors

[Arthurnewyorkcity]

I will start by saying, I am OK right now but I would like an answer to what these are.
A bit of context: a very abusive childhood, no contact with either parent, potential neurodiversity but not diagnosed, very traumatic birth with my first child. I believe I have ptsd (flashbacks every day/tears) etc

As a child I'd always have nightmares, 5 out of 7 nights id say. I was never scared as it was my normal.
As an adult, I now experience what I'll term night terrors. I don't know if they are.
Basically I wake up, and see spiders or snakes all over my bed and ceiling. I will scream/shout, wake up my partner utterly terrified. I remember them. I can move. It's 'real'. It's like 99% of me is fully seeing whatever it is I'm seeing so snakes and a tiny 1% of my brain is trying to say its not real. My partner will try get me to come round and I will hear him saying there are no snakes etc and ill start to 'wake up'. I apologise and try sleep.
The last time this happened, I was so terrified, I ran downstairs to get a knife to stab myself. (I DIDNT). Thankfully my partner came after me ir i dread to think. They were becoming so frequent that I didn't want the fear anymore.
During this summer, I was actively suicidal. I believe possibly some pnd and I did go to the doctors who got crisis team to contact me that day. I declined. I'm not sure why I went to the Dr's, I think at the time I just needed someone to know but thankfully I am in a much better place now. So mental health is definitely something I have struggled with. I was referred to a psychiatrist and never went but I may request this now I know I wouldn't be sectioned.
But does anyone know what my night time experiences are? I am so worried ill end up hurting my partner or myself. Are they just nightmares I'm acting out? Has anyone had this before?

I will tell you as a qualified mental health l practitioner of 20 years that no one can diagnose these experiences without a thorough assessment with a qualified mental health practitioner. We would need a lot more in depth information.

I would advise you to in the first instance discuss them with your GP.

Ahhh thank you, your response is both very helpful but also slightly concerning. I thought the answer would be obvious but clearly not. Itd also be nice to know im not alone with these experiences. Its very difficult for me to go in depth with things, I've shut a lot away but I also think thats why every 6 months or so i suffer a crisis. I had nhs cbt for trauma that i didnt benefit from at all. I don't want a formal diagnosis as it might mess up my life insurance policy.
Thank you again for taking the time to reply

You need to go ahead with the psych appointment you were offered. It is impossible to say what you are suffering, you need a qualified professional. Go back to the GP and tell them what you’ve written here and request a referral. Take care. I have psychosis but that could only be diagnosed by psychiatrists.

I have similar. I look like I'm awake but I'm rarely cognisant of it. I only sometimes might vaguely remember.

I think I see spiders dropping towards my face or there are mice in the bed.

My husband reckons its like something out of the ring too, when I start going to him "there's something there".

I talk a lot in my sleep too.

Sleep paralysis could be part of it, often linked to trauma. You should definitely reach out for some help though, it's no way to live and things can improve so much.

I get night terrors, it's usually spiders or rats or something looking at me, in the night. I've had them intermittently for decades, DH once has to shake me awake because I was about to run out of the house onto the street.

It usually happens at times of stress, I think. I'm sorry, I can't really offer much advice, just empathy.

Just to add, I'm a doctor ( not in this field) and I'm pretty sure these are 'night terrors' - I haven't looked for any help or treatment though.

Whikst i agree with the 'you need to see a health professional' can i throw hypnagogic hallucinations into the mix. My son has ptsd and has these at a certain point in his sleep cycle. His are unpleasant.

@cathyandclaire that's interesting. Have you sought help for yourself?

Thank you everyone for your replies. I will look up hypnagogic hallucinations.

To add, I am not still in these. I lift the duvet, shake/hit my partner awake to help me, jump off the bed etc and I've also gone to run out of the house. I usually sleep from around 10/11 and they must happen quite quick into the cycle as it can be around 1am.

I know it's ridiculous but I feel a bit silly going back to the gp for this. It's not every night, but I also notice it increases when stressed. I never had them prior to my sons birth which was horrific. When I was pregnant with my 2nd they were all the time which would link to trauma. Now I can have them even if I'm feeling happy when I go to sleep but are currently much less frequent, thankfully.

I guess I just want an answer and to feel safe!

@cathyandclaire sorry just re read and seen you haven't had treatment. I hope you are OK. X

Also concider REM sleep disorder OP, definitely worth raising with your GP as it can be a precursor of Parkinson's related conditions.

I had hallucinations of spiders crawling around the room when I was in the depths of sleep deprivation and PND. I've also had the joy of night terrors, they are very different. For me I was lucid in the hallucinations of that makes any sense. The night terrors literally frozen to the bed.

I hope you get past it soon.

Thanks, I am ok, I just live with it. DH was just saying how scary he found it when I was really bad. I wish I could offer wise words but the only thing that helped with me was having someone there who knew what was happening. Now I usually manage to wake up myself before I run out of the house!

Interesting- I think I've had both of these. I just lumped them all together.

Thank you for the replies. I need to get over myself and go. You just feel so stupid saying 'I see spiders'. Sounds so bizarre. Obviously it's more than that. I think I've put it off because although I want the knowledge, I don't want a diagnosis on my record, or for my life insurance premium to sky rocket, or to waste anyones time. Thank you everyone who has taken the time to replay and share your stories. You've given me a much needed kick up the butt to go.@cathyandclaire yours sound so much like what I experience. Mine tend to delay as my poor other half usually is half asleep and helps look for the non existant spiders! He's got better at realising I'm not 'with it' much quicker now.