Asking for opinions please

[petuniasandpetals]

I hope to get some idea if people here think I would benefit from some therapy and if so what type of. Thank you in advance.

A bit of background. I'm approaching 60 and want to live, for want of a better phrase, my best life.

I am on anti depressants and have been for years. I have tons of good coping strategies and have had two short bursts of therapy before; a long time ago.

I do live a good life and have really invested time and effort into my mental health which is now good but (like everyone I'm sure) could be better.

I'm willing to pay privately.
One of my coping strategies is to brush aside the not so good aspects of my marriage. If I open myself up a whole can of worms will come flooding forth and I know I don't want to leave so what really is the point of me trying to fix things. I have just learned to live with it and tbh do a great job, much much better than when I was younger.

I probably should have left a long time ago but finance and physical disability and all the good stuff mean I will stick it out.
Is there anything I could gain from therapy?

Similar situation with my mother. Difficult childhood and now put boundaries in place. Not perfect but I cope well.

Existential angst.
Am I just lonely?
I am becoming more introverted and enjoy my own company. I'm starting to get bored with friendships. Is this normal?

Am I just wanting to indulge myself with some navel gazing?

"If I open myself up a whole can of worms will come flooding forth and I know I don't want to leave so what really is the point of me trying to fix things."

The issue here is what is your higher goal? IMHO we get older spiritual fulfilment becomes way more important- sure we can fill time with stuff, activities, but we will aways want meaning in life too.

Not sure about the therapy but as to whether friendship becomes less important - I'm 57 and found that during lockdown I wasn't lonely at all (admittedly I have a good relationship with partner and DD was still living at home).

Before then I would have said I felt bad about not having close friends and a busy social life but that period made me realise that when released from the pressure of feeling I "ought" to have those things I was quite happy.

Hi @petuniasandpetals,

I think everyone can benefit from therapy at different stages in their life. It sounds like you’ve got lots in your past and present to discuss so I would say go for it.

With your marriage I guess it depends how bad the problems are. If they are causing you a lot of unhappiness it might be difficult to become ‘happy’ whilst you stay in it. If it’s just annoyances and general relationship issues then it’s not such a problem. I guess ending a marriage will always create a can of worms but if you imagine yourself in 10 years time- do you want to have moved on or are you ok if you are still with him?

Can you mix things up in your friendships? Plan a trip to a new garden centre/theatre show/restaurant - something a bit different and make plans you look forward to? Creating new memories is important.