Adult ADHD

[Mokoloko]

Hello,

Looking for a bit of support I suppose, recently diagnosed with combined ADHD in my early 30s.
I have two children under 10. A loving family and friends.
A brilliant partner who I'm marrying this year. A beautiful house, two dogs great job everything everyone dreams of.
So why am I so fed up and bored of life.
This isn't all the time and know this the ADHD but I'm at the point of crying and so low again today and know give it a few days I'll be up and bouncing around again it's like a big loop.
But I feel such a shitty person when I'm like this, I feel like I'm a failure to my family, this is when I forget things the most, can't be bothered to do anything and feel even worse because of how long it takes me to do basic day to day things.
I haven't received medication yet as my assessment was fairly recent and to be honest I'm not sure I want to take it I get frightened what long term medication can do to your body but on the flip side I worry what the constant worrying, racing thoughts, always on the go, high and low moods is doing to my body too. Plus I get so overwhelmed in certain social situations which I've struggled with my entire life and feel such a burden on my partner as can imagine he feels embarrassed of me at times when I go silent and have no conversation in me.

I don't really know what I'm asking for here just a chat with people who can relate I suppose :( thank you.

Same.

I took the meds and couldn’t believe the difference. It’s witch craft. Once th dose was sorted I had instant focus on taking the drugs. It’s instant, mind reaching and overwhelm one minute, total focus (or as near as I can get - instead of thinking of 20 things at once I think of 3). I’d recommend trying it so that you can see what it can do.

havjng said that, 5 years on, I can’t get the meds any more because of shortages and being on/off is counterproductive.

it helped the binge eating enormously but put my blood pressure up a bit. It’s worth a trial but I think the other stuff that works is as good, but I’d not have known that without the meds. I’d try other medication but I’m skint just now. Maybe later in the year.

ehat does work is having a system in place, exercise, sleep and accepting that I can’t do things the way I think they should be done but there are definite upsides to having a busy brain.

im great in a crisis, I find novel solutions to problems, I have lots of ideas which are all good ideas and I am able to swivel in an instant.

I can’t do laundry or housework or remember what day it is, I binge eat and I forget to go to bed. Those are manageable wirh some tools - here’s what helped:

clocks in every room, I have at LEAST 3. That way I see what time it is and that helps me not be late. Get ones that don’t tick, though

Alexa - shopping list and reminders. You can change the voice so it’s a man that you get to do all your little tasks and that pleases me. I’m only just learning how to use it but I can get him (see? Pleasing) to set a timer for when the oven goes off and he will announce it over the whole house so if I’m have wandered off dinner isn’t burned.

wallplanner, not diary - I can see the whole year and that helps work out what needs to happen when.

being kind to myself - I really struggle with sleep and so I’m tired. That’s how it is, there’s no judgment from me on how crap I am, I’ll just try hard to go to bed tonight.

have a look at Additude magazine’s podcast/youribe and “how to adhd” is good and upbeat.

I wish I’d known in my 30s, I really do. Mumsnet is great, have a look on the disabled mumsnet threads, there’s one for women with AD/ADHD so lots of support and tips and solidarity there.

We are the creative, fun, insightful people. We are just late and dishevelled while we do those things . Good luck

Oh,
I meant to say (oops) have a look at ADHD burnout. It might resonate. You sound exhausted and it’s deeply unpleasant to be burned out by anything but it’s common in the quirky brained.

Hi @stealtheatingtunnocks
Thank you for replying. I have heard about the medication shortages which is worrying that must be awful to have felt good and then go back to the chaos!
That's great you've learnt how to manage forgetfulness and time management.

I'm a bit of an odd one, I am not messy and never have been- I need my environment perfect otherwise I physically feel like my head will explode, family and friends have forever taken the mick out of me for it but honestly they have no idea how I feel when something is out of place or isn't tidy. The irritation is next level.
I've always been impulsive I was an absolute nightmare for my parents growing up I would get involved in crazy things which gave me a buzz and that excitement but of course the past 10 years I've been a mother and had to adult lol so I definitely struggle on a day to day basis to get that buzz I crave I'm not sure if that's where the cleaning came in. I want excitement all the time but know I can't and won't now. So instead I impulse buy, get obsessed with things for a while then get bored.
I have no hobbies as I have no patience and get bored of everything.
Conversations, meeting with partners friends, family, sometimes my own friends I get bored and it's just insane and soul destroying !
Christmas and birthdays are selfishly hell for me, I get overwhelmed so so quickly and then beat myself up about it because it's not about me and I'm making it argh it's not nice is it!