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Mental health

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Student DS mental health

6 replies

simplynot · 10/01/2024 09:06

Not sure where to post this but hoping someone can help me. DS 20 is at uni and struggling. He's in his 2nd year, the first year went well - made lots of friends and no problems living away from home. Academic work all good as well.

Back in primary school he struggled, lots of school refusing and escaping or avoiding what he perceived as difficult situations. He saw CAMHs who treated him for extreme anxiety and he improved. Anxiety is still there but he copes with it.

He is really down, says he keeps crying and wants to come home, which he does and then doesn't want to go back to uni. He says that whilst he feels a little anxious about a few things (like exams) he doesn't believe that they are behind is general low mood. He has a lovely girlfriend and friends at uni and is doing well academically. I feel his issues sound more like depression than anxiety.

Now I know he's an adult and can sort this out for himself but I want to help him and not sure how. He says the mental health support services at uni are really busy and it's difficult to see them. I'm not sure whether he should approach his GP or should we go privately (have cover through work). Does anyone have any advice? It is very difficult when dealing with an adult but also in today's world - difficulty in getting GP appts, not sure what route to take, a lot of mental health organisation through googling but any experience, recommendations? Thanks

OP posts:
TreesWelliesKnees · 10/01/2024 09:16

I'd say go privately if you can. NHS services are hugely overstretched and you could be waiting months for him to get talking therapy. And university counselling has been scaled back at many universities due to costs.

I clicked on your message because my DS19, also at uni, is struggling. He is in first year though. I'm messaging him every day to help him feel connected to the family. Keep talking and asking how he is. I'm also taking over some of the admin for him as he's struggling to motivate himself, and I plan to get him to a GP to discuss options. I think it's important to be proactive, not just to get the help but also so he knows you've got his back.

Ilovesshopping · 10/01/2024 09:24

Id be concerned too and want to actively do something to help. if you have access to private care , then just get in touch with them and see what services are available. No experience of uni mh services, but no harm in seeing your own gp aswell. If I knew his girlfriend well enough, I’d probably have a discreet word with her to keep an eye on the situation and let me know if things are escalating. Hope he’s feeling better soon .

Mischance · 10/01/2024 09:27

He needs to talk with his tutor or counseling service at uni. They will know the local services and also have done all this before - supporting young people with mental health problems.

What a worry for you.

simplynot · 10/01/2024 20:25

Thanks for your replies.

Sorry that your DS is struggling as well @TreesWelliesKnees It's so difficult when they're away - before Xmas I didn't want to text / call too much in case it made him feel worse but I've realised that he likes to be in touch with home. I also say to him that lots of students feel like he does, they just hide it well. Big step for them being away from home, with strangers.

I will ask him to talk to the uni MH services, even if they're busy, and I'll help him with GP and going privately if possible. At least he is talking to me and he says I help so that's a good thing. Still a big worry though.

OP posts:
Squiggles23 · 13/01/2024 20:18

Hi Op,

I think uni services sound ideal as they will have lots of experience of students in the same boat. Also in theory there should be good support (compared to NHS etc).

Has he been to GP to consider medication? There are things which can help and sometimes it does make a big difference.

Otherwise the basics: getting enough sleep, getting outside, exercising, eating well, not drinking too much - are probably all things which go out the window at uni. What helps about being at home? Is it the comforts or seeing you? As having a visit planned might help.

Could also be a struggle around winter and the dark, short days with shite weather.

X

Mgup · 14/01/2024 08:29

Morning

Is there any chance of him switching to another uni closer to home so that you could keep an eye on him, but he still gets to finish his course?

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