How best to help friend with depression?

[smallbob]

Hello,
I'd like your advice please about whether there is anything I can usefully do when a friend is going through a depressive episode?I haven't known her very long (we are both new mums). When we have talked she has mentioned periods in her past when she has felt she needed to 'lay low' for a while.

When I hadn't seen her for a few days recently I sent a text and she replied that she needed some time to work through a few things. I called round a few days later and stayed for a couple of minutes to say Hi and she said that she was going through a bad patch.

Should I just stay away now until she gives me a sign it's ok to contact her? She has family nearby who are looking after her. Is there anything I could do to help that won't be irritating?

Thanks very much,
smallbob

you sound like a lovely friend. Firstly do you know that she has depression or has she just got "stuff" to deal with? It is very difficult. I suffer with depression and i am happy to discuss it with my friends, less so with newly made ones though. It does sound like she could do with some space, you have done the right thing by letting her know you are around for her.

Maybe you could suggest a "playdate" with the children, if they are old enough, that takes the pressure off the actual friendship thing. Just send a text and say something along the lines of, oh, im thinking of taking dd/ds to xyz it would be great if you could come along too. If she doesn't answer then you will have to sit and wait i think. If she says no because she is still feeling shit then text her and say, look, if you need a friend, im here if you need me. Thats all you can do really. Just be happy around her and only ever talk about her problems if she flags them up - she might just need a break from being that depressed person, iyswim.

sorry cant offer any more advice really.

Sorry, posted too close to bedtime!

She used the term depression herself and mentioned that there had been an event in her past that had initially triggered it, without saying what that event was. She is going to see a Dr tomorrow so I know she is taking all the right steps in terms of getting professional help.

She is such a lovely person and a great mum. It is really sad to see her so listless. I was thinking I might do a mix cd for her baby from my baby with all our favourite tunes on it.

you just being there for her is more help than you can ever realise