This weekend I was away with three friends, one of whom I know well and was sharing a room with. I felt anxious a lot over the weekend but felt I had hid it well. I clearly wasn't as my friend that I was sharing a room with had noticed, saying I was fidgeting a lot/seemed spaced out and that I was clenching my jaw/grinding my teeth throughout the nights and she was worried about me.
I am the anxious type but if I'm honest to myself the source of it is mostly a man (I won't even call it a boyfriend) in my life. I was in my own head most of the weekend, wondering when he would text to apologise for his shittiness and reach out and show that he cares. He didn't and I now see it's having a bad affect on my mental health. I know this is also my own fault for letting it get this far but I have scheduled to go back to my old therapist later in the week and I know I can be stronger without him.
Is it bad to just 'run' from him? Block/delete/pretend I don't exist? We have been on a very long rollercoaster for some time and I have tried to walk away many times, to always let him drag me back. I can't anymore now my mental health is slipping.
Thank you in advance 🌸