Any tips for self discipline?

[Annalise22]

Hello!!

Was wondering if anybody has any tips on self discipline.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with EID (emotional intensity disorder) this causes me to have bouts of depression, mental breakdowns / outbursts in moments of high stress, extreme levels of unmotivation and a lot of negative self talk and hate. The disorder comes from severe childhood trauma and is life ruining at times. There is no cure but I am medicated and have had some group treatment to learn more about the illness.

I've come so far since getting my diagnosis but this year my biggest goal is to be the best parent I can be. I want to stop the episodes of depression getting in the way of my parenting (at times I can't leave the sofa with how bad the depression gets and find myself withdrawing from my kids).

Things are going way better than they were with the kids aged 2 had 6. But I know for me to get where I want to be I need to kick myself up the bottom in a non self hatred way. I'm way calmer and mindful with how I interact but I still hate myself so much and feel they deserve more.

I need to make sure I'm getting enough sleep, eat well and quit vaping / smoking (both). In order to have the energy to fight my illness. But whenever I have a down day with the kids I wind up running to nicotine, sugar binges and staying up late self hating. I scold myself into "fixing" these bad habits rather than doing it out of self love which doesn't work.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)

When you were handed your newborn babies for the first time did you check to see what they looked like before you decide to love them? Does you determine if they were well-behaved before granting them care? Did you reserve your affection until they has demonstrated certain positive qualities or you were sure they would do well in school?

No, of course not.

The first thing you need to do when it comes to making the effort required to inspire positive long-term changes is to offer yourself unconditional love and care, no matter what.

Unfortunately for many people this is often the hardest step to take; the very idea of loving themselves before they make the changes they deem necessary seems completely alien. They are so used to judging themselves based on their perceived strengths and weaknesses that they already hate themselves because there are things about them they dislike.

It’s important that self-love comes without any qualitative judgement and as a base level below which we will never fall. Simply put - you love you.

It’s okay to hate certain aspects of who or where we are right now, but if we continue to love ourselves in the midst of that perceived failing, we will very likely care enough about ourselves to make those changes.

Step one: always love yourself…even when there are things about you that you don’t like. That way, you can accept the things you cannot change and care enough to change the things you can.

Routine!!!!

Read atomic habits.