Poor motivation and I keep stopping what I am doing

[Iamnotmad]

I'm having problems keeping my home clean and tidy. I have started on some housework today because of how unbearable it's becoming, but I keep finding myself stopping and can't seem to sustain any momentum with the task. I feel like an invisible piece of elastic keeps dragging me back to zero. Can anyone make any suggests to help me keep myself going? I just keep wanting to sit down and do nothing.

@Iamnotmad have you got depression op ? Xx

Yes dysthymia and generalised anxiety disorder. That's why I posted here.

@Iamnotmad how about if you drink some coffee and maybe energy drink and put some music on to get in the mood ? Tahts what I do and it really works ! And you need to start from one room and when one room is finished , you’ll feel so full of energy because you have completed something and then you’ll want to do more ! Because you feel good

@Infertilitylady I have not tried the music trick - thanks for the idea - I will have another stab at my bedroom tomorrow daytime, I'll put something upbeat on and see if it helps.

Would love to hear more ideas if anyone has any.

Try putting the oven timer on for say 15 minutes. You do the task as quickly as you can in that time then reward yourself. So hot drink, favourite tv show or whatever. Then after a break try it again. I think if the house is a mess then it seems like a never ending chore, so setting a limit means you can feel good about achieving that 15 minutes.

I do 10 minutes cleaning at a time. Never more. It's so boring! I put a 10 minute timer on and do it as fast as possible, it's amazing how much you can do in 10 minutes.

If I have a bigger task to do like clean the bedroom, I'd do three lots of 10 minutes, spread over a whole day! Inbetween, I sit down, have a cuppa, watch a show if a weekend, work if the week.

Ten minutes is bearable.

I do all boring household tasks in short blocks.

Works for my brain but you have to go with what works better, you may be more methodical than me. The 10 min timer is on YouTube.

I also write lists as well, a list of things I've done in the day. Sometimes it's easy to feel hopeless and think you have done nothing, but when you add it up, you got out of bed, you ate breakfast, put a wash on and changed one set of bedding (or even just found the new bedding to put on the next day). On a good day. Don't say to yourself- whatever I do it's too much, say, even if I just do one thing, that's one extra thing I did. Make a list of what you did do that day. I did this when I had bad chronic fatigue and I felt I was doing nothing. It turned out I was doing something in the day, even if it was little things, and over time I built them up again.

This is a great idea, I will try this.

I can only get boring housework done if I have my earphones in and chatting to a mate. I'm like you otherwise. Good luck!

Oh I also put some nice cheerful active music on.

Music, having a friend to talk to, and having a clear task are the things that help me. E.g I don’t clean my bedroom, but I’ll - pick up dirty clothes - put clean clothes away - throw rubbish away.

I do the timer thing, ten mins on my watch - can get so much done in ten mins and then always want to carry on!

Ok I have improved a lot in this area. I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be but more than 50percent there.

I used an app that really helped me - it was not worth the money so I'll tell you what worked.

Start by reflective practice. You need any paper and and any pen. I used a pad of post its.

So wake up - write down how you feel physically and mentally right away. Do this as often as you can. The more the better. Don't be afraid to use terms only you understand - I had 'fuzzy head' where I was so anxious that I couldn't think or 'frozen'

If you can explain it at the time then write that down but it's not always obvious.

So for me an example of how I felt whe. I woke up was - i was tired, stressed that I had so much to do with no time to think or get everything I wanted to done.

This was because - I hadn't slept well, and it was physically impossible to get everything done that I wanted in the time I had given myself.

So I had to work on sleep quality (caffeine free after 1pm, spare bed once a week, scheduling in early nights and telling the family that it needed to be respected, lavender spray etc). In a month I was waking up a different person.

I also simplified things (skincare, packed lunches) and prepped the night before - again the whole family was involved - they sorted things for themselves the night before , more uniform was purchased

alarm clock was set earlier - for the whole family.

That was one post it note.
I wrote one first thing most days. And it's a much better read now.

I also read atomic habits which helped me understand routines and how automating things takes the stress out of 90percent of your life, and how routine brings comfort, calm and stability which naturally helps anxiety. And getting more organised and getting things done is a massive boost to self esteem.

I've made changes to the biggest areas of concern and I am healthier and financially better off - vitamins are taken more often than not, healthier choices are made etc. but take ot one post it note at a time but you have to dig deep and reflect and make admissions to yourself that you don't want to hear.

A big one for me was calling my mum. I used to dread it. Because my mum always made me feel shit about myself. I was the scapegoat so ringing her made me feel guilty, inadequate and vulnerable. I set myself boundaries. When I start feeling like that I will make an excuse and leave. I found if I called her while I was doing something else- ironing, cooking I was too distracted to let her get to me. Again it was because I wrote lots of post it notes. And looking at them after a while I realised that if I spoke to her when distracted or just before I picked up the kids I was ok because I knew it was going to end.

Also another thing which helped me was to time how long it took before I got distracted and started doing something else - it was 11 minutes. So I started to listen to podcasts - I will clean for this podcast then iron for another. Now I look forward to ironing as it means my favourite podcast and it's 50 mins so it usually all gets done.

My AirPods have literally changed my life.

HTH.

I really struggle with this too. I find music helps and also writing a list the night before so that I don’t have to think about what I need to do next. On days where I struggle, I reward myself after each task or X amount of tasks.