How to accept uncertainty with OCD / anxiety.

[Ilovedogs1]

Hey everyone.

I've been working on my anxiety and OCD intrusive thoughts for several months now. While I'm better than I was over the last week or so my intrusive thoughts have upped their game. Generally my worries are 'what if I've done something wrong/immoral/bad in the past and don't remember it'
My intrusive thoughts are usually about the past and not fears of the future.
I know the 'what if' is a big flag for it being intrusive thoughts/anxiety and I also know that really 100% certainty doesnt exist but how do you accept that you can't be sure something bad hasn't happened in the past, to not be certain that you haven't done something wrong/Immoral. I just can't get my head around this and the intrusive thoughts are like a constant noise in my head.

Thanks.

So what if something bad did happen & you don't realise?
Do you think that makes you a bad person if you don't know?

@lljkk how do you even know if your a good person? I'm constantly doubting myself but on an irrational level but I'm aware its irrational. Like I worry if I drive somewhere and can't fully remember the journey 'what if I ran somebody over'.
Logically I understand you wouldn't run into someone and not realise but the doubt and uncertainty can sometimes be overwhelming. I am diagnosed with OCD , just finding it tough atm.

A therapist once told me to "check the facts" about my anxious thoughts.
So for your example about worrying you ran someone over and didn't realise- checking the facts would involve thinking that would be so drastically unlikely to happen without consequences, the more likely conclusion is that this a worry thought. What are you really worrying about?

Often my worry thoughts might involve offending people in minor interactions, my therapist taught me to recognise that there are thousands of possible responses people may have and all are equally likely- whereas I always jump to the worst possible outcome.

Her advice was to always try to act according to your own moral code and then you can feel confident in yourself.

If you HAD done something wrong/immoral etc in the past, you would remember it.

If you can't, then clearly it wasn't important and therefore trying to remember it is not helpful.

If no one has been affected, why does it matter?

You need to accept uncertainty and accept that you are not and cannot be perfect.

At the end of the day, nothing is going to happen. Acknowledge it as an OCD thought and move on.

Mindfulness, meditation, CBT therapy, exercise and distraction techniques are helpful. Volunteering / being with others may help
to stop the constant chatter in your head.

My ds has severe ocd, as you've described, and the above suggestions do work. He also takes an ssri at a high dose but ultimately this is only effective in conjunction with the other techniques.

There's 2 threads today on here about ocd and I found an old thread a few days ago. There's many of us sufferers out there and it's a horrible illness to live with. Have you considered meds or therapy op? I start cbt on Monday. I've had all the thoughts you're having and it drives you insane!

My DD has OCD.
When she has thoughts like this and cannot resolve them herself we'll have a conversation - I try and avoid reassuring her too much as that's not helpful. But she also has similar worries.
It generally goes along - likelihood? How likely is it, especially as someone with OCD that you would do something terrible and not notice? She will concede that framing it like that means she probably hasn't.
Then consequences? If nothing has happened in all likelihood then the consequences have also changed.
Whilst you can often rationalise down to zero, sometimes she has to accept that it's not zero but it's acceptably small risk.
I'm not convinced that this exercise isn't of itself a pattern of the OCD the purpose is to help DD accept the thought without further protracted rumination. However, as you will all be familiar with, sometimes the thoughts then just hop somewhere else.

Thank you all for your responses. I know I can't have 100% certainty and nobody can really but the intrusive thoughts are pretty constant atm. Woken up feeling extremely anxious today.

Accepting uncertainty is challenging, but it's a key step in managing intrusive thoughts. Remind yourself that everyone has uncertainties about the past, and focus on the positive actions and choices you make in the present.

@SoniyaJonas thanks for your reply. Presently I'm feeling extremely anxious, thoughts bouncing around my head, tight chest,nauseous feeling etc. I do have an important meeting at work with management today which is probably contributing. Any tips on what to do right now. I'm determined to not let it take over. I will not become as bad as I was last year but my god it's so hard.

At the end of each day write a diary entry. Just simple bullet points such as
1)went to the shop didn't speak to anyone
2) had a shower and turned the water off
3) ordered takeaway spoke to the person on the phone ONLY about the order and nothing else
4) phone conversations with friend about holidays and pets

At the end of the entry write ' I'd did not say or do anything that would upset, alarm, hurt or embarrass myself in any way

This will be what you refer to when you get an intrusive thought as Proof that you haven't done anything wrong this day

Other ways to help I trust I've thoughts

• avoid things that stress you (obviously meetings can't be avoided but you can prepare for the )
• use grounding techniques. When the thoughts come look at 5 things, smell 5 things, touch 5 things, listen to 5 sounds, taste 5 things and say to yourself out loud if possible ' I am safe'
• medication and therapy are great options
• meditation and yoga. Have a look in YouTube
• lavender room spray and lavender you get your pillow
• get calming oil rub for your temple and wrists
• drink water and avoid caffeine when possible
• breathing techniques. Have a look on YouTube
• remind yourself DAILY that you have intrusive thoughts because you are and want to be a good person so there is no reason you would intentionally do or say something bad to someone else. It is not in your character or your beliefs

It's awful OP but part of OCD means you have waves of ups and downs with it and it's about how you can manage it to the best of your ability