Bipolar relative in trouble abroad

[bettybooples]

My DH's father who is severely bipolar has gotten himself in to some serious trouble abroad - he's had a major accident, is in ICU and we are unsure if he's going to pull through.

Does anyone know if we can gain any help through any UK channels to get him home due to his severe mental health issues? He's under the NHS for his bipolar and is in and out of hospital sections.

The embassy seem absolutely useless.

We are really concerned about the fact he doesn't have travel insurance - are we likely to get a bill at our door should the worst happen?

DH and his dad have been estranged for a long time sadly, so my DH says we will not be paying for anything and seems to think we won't be liable.

We just don't know what to do, we saw this coming a mile off but couldn't stop it unfortunately.

In shock right now.

Sadly, he needs travel insurance or deep pockets. Without either, I think you need to wait and see how it plays out or get involved and pay.

I'm sorry to hear that

You might get better info if you ask on the Legal board? But I also can't see you'd be liable for any costs. If they are estranged, I presume there's no guardianship?

i guess a hospital might try to bill you but I can't see it having a legal basis, not a lawyer though.

If he's in ICU, he's not well enough to travel

Is he in Europe? An EHIC / GHIC might cover in country medical costs and can be applied for even after treatment has been given. (That doesn't sound legitimate but I have heard that advise given by a hospital to a UK national receiving treatment in the EU.)

I am sorry you and your DH are in this terrible situation.

Might be worth asking on the legal chat OP.

However, agree if he’s in Europe I thought the medical card might cover it. Citizens advice might be able to help.

Are you certain he wouldn’t have had medical insurance?

Thanks everyone,

No he's not in Europe, he's in a country in Asia. Will call citizens advice tomorrow.

What a terrible situation for you both and I can totally understand your fears about costs. I hope you get some answers soon.

This is of no help to the OP, I'm afraid, but for others reading...

It is legitimate. An EHIC/GHIC shows that you are entitled to NHS care, and the UK government has agreements with some countries that anyone entitled to NHS care can get care on the same basis as the countries' own citizens, with reimbursement by the UK government if that applies.

If you don' t have an EHIC/GHIC and are being treated in those counties, you can apply for a Provisional Replacement Certificate to prove your entitlement
https://www.nhsbsa.nhs.uk/get-healthcare-cover-travelling-abroad/get-temporary-cover-emergency-treatment-abroad-provisional-replacement-certificate

BUT this only covers some countries, only care the country's citizens would receive and never covers repatriation yo the UK

Op, does he have medical insurance covered on his credit card?

and have you spoken to anyone from the Embassy? You will find a list of what consular services they can provide in circumstances like on their website relevant to the country your FIL is in.

https://www.gov.uk/world

OP has already said that the Embassy were of no use

@bettybooples I'm not trying to scare you here but he (then likely your DH, if FIL passes) is going to get a GIGANTIC bill. 'House sale only covering a portion of it' type of bill. I know this because I had an accident abroad and luckily had travel insurance so it was paid but even though it was only an ambulance, 2 Diazepam pills and an x ray, then another two weeks later (so no overnight hospital stay was even needed), it came to the equivalent of £70,000. If he's in ICU then the costs will be thousands & thousands per day. You need to contact citizens' advice or something. Does he own property in the UK? Because if he does, then he's about to lose it, sadly.
I don't mean to sound arsey here but his Bipolar will be entirely irrelevant if his accident was unrelated to his mental health. I'm presuming it was a car accident??

Unfortunately we have been informed today that my FIL is not going to recover from this with any sort of meaningful life. Whilst he could survive, he would likely need round the clock bedside care which we do not want for him and he absolutely wouldn't want.

We are devastated to say the least.

We've been told by the embassy that we are not liable for the bill as long as we are in this country, but not to go to the country in question as they believe we will be asked for payment at the hospital etc and they can't comment legally on where we would stand.

My FIL is not a home owner and has no assets. He lived a very simple nomadic lifestyle. He had nothing and wanted for nothing. He was the most gentle, kind soul.

I potentially need this moved to the bereavement board as we are absolutely overwhelmed with grief.

I have no experience in losing someone close to me. If I feel this sad how can I even begin to imagine how heartbroken my lovely husband must be. We have cried so many tears. Struggling to believe this is happening.

Thank you everyone for your help so far x

I think the fact my DH and FIL had not spoken in a year is troubling us the most.

His severe bipolar disorder had become incredibly difficult due to his refusal to take any medication and my DH could not bear to watch him self sabotage any further.

We stepped away for our own health and family, to protect ourselves because he would not let us help him. We always knew that something like this could happen. But it doesn't make it any easier.

@LonelynSad I'm sure the accident was related to his MH. When he was manic he had no regard for his safety or that of others - just completely thought he was invincible

I’m really sorry @bettybooples it must be a huge shock. Really awful to be in that situation and so helpless.

I know it’s horrible but it’s understandable that communication broke down when things are so up and down. It’s lovely that you can recognise he was a kind a lovely soul but doesn’t mean he was the easiest dad to your DH.

Sending you a big hug 🤍 x

I know. But quite often people aren’t given the service they should be given because they don’t know just what can be done. The link I posted to explains that in detail.

Betty, I’m very sorry about your FIL and I wish you and your family peace of mind and heart going forward.

@bettybooples

I am trying to think alternatively is your husband fathers Plight i wonder, 🤔 whether would could catch the imagination of local crowd fundraising from where he or you are from sort of thing?

Or

Could you borrow some money from your bank or building society accounts in any way too?

@bettybooples

If you got in touch with your local community newspaper and the online version of this too, about your husband fathers Plight story

Would it capture 🤔 the imagination of some readers to do some crowd fundraisers on either social media or events being set up to raise awareness 🤔 around mental health too ect?

@bettybooples I’m sorry for the situation you and your DH are in, and the stress about medical bills on top. In Asia, if he was admitted by ambulance, he’s quite likely to have gone to a “government hospital” at no cost. It’s little consolation at such a dreadfully sad time, but may put your mind st ease a bit. Good advice from the embassy not to go to the country though.

What help would you want the Embassy to give?

This is a heartbreaking situation. I am sure your dh went contact with his dad after much pain, disappointment and distress so it does not mean he didn't love him or that he doesn't have some good memories from his childhood. Is there any other sibling involved so they can get together now and grieve. I have experience of bipolar in my family and know its only after many painful episodes that he was driven to step away.
In lreland we have The Kevin Bell Foundation that brings dear ones that die abroad home to their families...its a charity set up by Kevin's family after he passed away abroad and they saw the trauma involved. They offer complete support to families on a practical level. I am just wondering if there is any such charity in the UK?

I know it might not sound intuitive but I would contact the MH team he was under in his local area and see if you can speak to someone senior on the nursing/social work side of things. Explain that you don’t need support per se right now but you do need a conversation. MH patients do go abroad abruptly sometimes and I cannot imagine he will be the first person this has happened to, sadly.

If you get hold of someone kind and helpful they might be able to offer some practical advice. If you need help tracking down who to contact, I might be able to help if you let me know which MH trust he is under.

Can you speak to the British Consul in the country involved?