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Mental health

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Mums mental health

2 replies

Bakereld · 03/01/2024 13:18

Hello!

This might be a weird post, but im looking for advice please.

The past few months I've noticed my mum seem a bit different/off. This has come hand in hand with comments about finding her work tough (self employed hair dresser).

She's 56, no pension,little savings, rents. She is married to my step-dad (50) who previously had a fantastic job with fantastic pension, however he had a stroke 2 years ago, he has made a fantastic recovery, however is/was on disability benefits and can no longer work.

I say 'was' as he did recently receive part of an inheritance, I assume this is under 50K, I haven't asked but am reading between the lines. They have no assets/savings minus this and SD pension.

She used to be really happy go lucky, and bubbly. But I think im pretty good at reading people, and have definitely picked up on a change in mood. We are quite close, and text/see each other often, but money isn't something we talk about much.

I want to talk to her about it all, and make sure she's ok.

I am quite financially savvy, bought my own detached home, good savings pot, quite frugal, married to husband in finance with good pension etc, and don't forsee kids in my future due to infertility.

Do you think i could offer to help her? I recently went self employed and i'm slowly building it up, but could spare some money every month to help her, even if its just 'treat' money or 'grocery money'.

I don't know how to bring it up, or if they think i'm being rude.

Me and husband always pay for meals when out with them, my step-dad has repeatedly said theyre alright for money etc and we don't need to pay, but I think he could be being proud.

My mum doesn't really complain, she's always worked hard and got on with it, so i feel this is out of character and I would like to support her,but I dont know how to go about it, especially with her being distant about it.

OP posts:
Squiggles23 · 04/01/2024 23:26

Hi @Bakereld ,

I guess in the current situation lots of people are struggling for money so maybe you could start talking about that (how much prices have risen, all the strikes etc) and see if she gives anything back.

What are her comments about work? I imagine being a hairdresser is pretty tiring being on your feet all the time. Is she worrying about how she will retire? I imagine your step dad will have a pension pot saved up if he did previously work in a good job before the stroke?

x

Eyesopenwideawake · 05/01/2024 13:32

Would you (she) be interested in helping her out with admin work in your business? It would give her a 'real' wage and be less tiring than being on her feet all day.

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