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Mental health

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No social life/putting child in parents care

3 replies

MeganBoo · 31/12/2023 21:36

In need of some advice…I’m a young mum who’s really struggling with depression as well as other mental health issues which makes it hard to look after my toddler at times especially when she’s having tantrums I don’t even look after myself if I’m honest I barely wash and eat lucky if I have one meal a day if I didn’t have my daughter id probably lye in bed all day. For me going out with my boyfriend who I’ve been with for 2 years (he’s not my daughters dad) is a little escape from reality where for those few hours I can have a break from mum life and don’t have to stress about looking after my daughter when I’m feeling low, it helps with my mental health a lot but unfortunately my support system isn’t great so I don’t get to go out much. My siblings are younger then me so my mum has them to look after she also works so dosent help watch my daughter much even if it was once a month it’d help with my mental health a lot I think every parent needs a little break sometimes but I don’t seem to get any and it makes my depression worse I hate putting my daughter to sleep and then lying in bed feeling alone and depressed while I see everyone else is out. I never got to experience going out as a teenager…clubbing, holidays even the simplest thing like going cinema with my friends as I lost all my friends in school and didn’t make any in the tiny college I went to so I had and still have no friends to get out with my only friend is my boyfriend but because I never experienced going out before I had my daughter it makes it even harder not being able to go out now I have someone to do things with. I’ve spoken to other young mums but can’t relate as their baby’s father will watch their child on weekends or their mum will watch their child so they have plenty opportunities to go out and do whatever they want I feel so isolated even my boyfriends mum is always wanting to see her grandchild and spend time with him my mum never offers to watch my daughter or asks if she can come round I feel like I have to beg her to and the answers always no. This is turning into a bit or a rant but just feel really depressed and it’s getting too much even today new years I was hoping to spend it with my boyfriend but my mum won’t watch my daughter even though I said she’d be asleep etc really fed up of lying in bed each night feeling stuck and down. My mum mentioned I could put my daughter into her care while I sort my mental health out but it’s such a long process to go through with and im currently in a 2 bed council house if my daughter stays with my mum for a bit I’ll be classed as under occupied and would have to pay extra for my spare bedroom which will cause even more stress on me as im not working due to my mental health. Really don’t know what to do anymore going into next year feeling really depressed and stuck in getting to the point it’s just too much.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 31/12/2023 21:45

I think you should talk to your health visitor and GP. You’re obviously in a very bad place and hopefully there’s support both could direct you to 💐

Kaleidoscopeofbutterflies · 31/12/2023 23:17

Health visitor/GP is your first port of call.
You can refer yourself to Turning Point in your area.
I'd try every mother and toddler group you can.( Again your health visitor can put you in contact).
There will be other young mums in same situation as you.
If your Mum isn't willing to help why would she want to put your child in her care?
Plus like you said she has your younger siblings and work.
I think you are in catch 22.. depression / V going out.
Usually when depression takes over it stops you wanting to go out.. but you're the opposite, you want to go out . This makes me thinks maybe it could be long term PND or even regret of having your child so young , that it's stopped / stopping you doing what most young people do.
Try and get the outside help you need via the professionals.. you need someone to help you to help yourself.. they can't do it for you .. but can suggest ways for you to do it.. Good luck.
Hope 2024 is your year to get help you need.🌺

Wooloohooloo · 01/01/2024 00:14

OP- how old is your daughter? If she's two or over, she may be eligible for some free hours at nursery which would give you a break- please look into it. I had a brief look myself but don't want to give out inaccurate info. As others have said, please seek help. Your mum can't/wont give you any more help so you need to ask your GP/health visitor.

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