We have two kids together and he has had a few bouts of stress and depression but it's been managed well in the last few years.
He's told me recently that he's getting really stressed at work which I've taken on board but it's work related and nothing I can do help with the load. He told me late on Thursday that he was off the next day. I was obviously jealous so did the whole oh no I wish I was! Apparently this was bad as I knew he was stressed so shouldn't have made a big deal of it!
His day off he moaned that he had loads of house jobs to do which I absolutely didn't expect him to do. To try and show support I slept on the sofa on Friday night so I could get up and walk the dog and let him have a lie in as he's a really light sleeper and there's no way I would have got up without waking him. He said he woke up feeling depressed which made me bristle a bit but was happy his day improved later.
Last night he initiated sex when I got into bed an hour after him but he suddenly stopped in the middle and just kept saying he should be asleep then left the room. He come back to get his phone and it was obvious he was going to sleep on the sofa at this point so I said goodnight and he ignored me.
He's been a sack of shit all day.
I feel like depression can't come on this quick and I guess I'm resentful from past experience that this means everything will fall on me again while he gets better. But then he might have had a panic attack or something during sex I just don't know as it could also have been that he couldn't finish because of me. I asked how he is earlier when there was a quiet spell in the house and he said he wants to be alone. I had taken the kids out all day so he had already had plenty of alone time.
I've had lots of family suffer with depression and I want to be supportive and sympathetic but if I'm scrutinizing how he's feeling maybe I'm not at all. It's just exhausting and I wish he would recognize that it fucks the mood of the whole house tbh when I'm treading on eggshells and worrying about the DC disturbing him.
Am I being horrible for doubting things or just weary of it all