Does this sound like Autism?

[GoldGlitters]

Sorry if I’ve posted in the wrong area. However would like some perspective on wether this sounds like autism or just regular human behaviour that we all experience.

I’m 30. Female. Have always felt a little different to the rest of my friends. They’re all married with kids and settled. I’m not. I’m single. I struggle to maintain romantic relationships and feel a lot more childlike to people my age.

I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder in mid twenties and I am prone to bouts of depression and suffer with insomnia.

Here are some of my behaviours/feelings, which I believe I mask. As when I explain these to my friends and family they just laugh and say I’m being silly.

Feel constantly in a dreamland. I am always daydreaming and creating false scenarios in my head.

Hate the sensation of fizzy drinks and spicy food.

Can’t eat or relax when random objects are on the table. E.g. pens, keys, coins. I have to move them out of the way or cover them up with a napkin.

I can’t use certain cutlery and cups, plates etc. As there is just something “off” about them. Teaspoons make me gag. I can’t drink out of mugs. Glasses have to be pint glasses I can’t drink out of ones that are smaller.

Selective mutism. As a child this was at school. As an adult this is at work. In team meetings I feel stuck, I cannot physically speak. If I do my voice comes out all timid my eyes start to water and I lose my breath.

Hyper focusing on hobbies. I will be interested in something quite quickly and spend hundreds of pounds on equipment and books related to the interest. Then in a couple of weeks I will lose interest and find another hobby. The whole process starts again.

Having an emotional attachment to inanimate objects. E.g. train tickets from a trip. My old school books. Empty perfume bottles. I can’t throw things away, which leads to hoarding.

I like my personal space. I don’t like people being too close to me. I cannot share beds. If I do I can’t sleep. I will be awake all night.

I get overwhelmed in busy crowds. I hate places like nightclubs and festivals because there are too many people, too much going on.

My social battery runs out quick. I feel totally exhausted after a social gathering. I need a full day in bed to recover.

Listening to same songs on repeat. Sometimes 20+ times in one go.

Get extremely anxious and upset if an outfit or makeup doesn’t go as planned to the point of tears and hyperventilating.

You definately have some autistic trates there, go seek advice from your gp i believe i have autism too i have noticed it more since having my 2nd child who has autism

There's some sensory stuff there and some that sounds more like OCD or anxiety or ADHD. I wouldn't really think Autism from that list, but I'm not a specialist. I have 3 Autistic DC and Autistic siblings and probably ADHD myself. I also have anxiety and panic attacks.. If you want to know whats going on you really need to find someone who specialises in Autism & ADHD in females who mask a lot and get a professional opinion or if you can afford it a proper assessment.

As others have said, we can’t diagnose on the internet but I can certainly see why you are querying autism. I am the same in terms of having traits and behaviours that are different to other people. I’ve never pursued a diagnosis of ASD and don’t really have active plans to but haven’t ruled it out either.

I have had mental health issues for many years and I am convinced they are reflected to said traits/behaviours. But how I untangle it all I don’t really know.

Someone posted this on another thread, which you may find interesting. I could identify with most of it! https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/

*related not reflected

I have several autistic relatives - male and female.
I definitely think its worth considering an assessment.
No one can diagnosis over mumsnet but from your list there are definitely ASC traits

I would add also some adhd / add traits too.
The two conditions are often intertwined.

There are definitely some ADHD traits in there.

My 15 year DD has just been diagnosed recently. I feel so guilty that we didn't spot it sooner. She has many of these issues that you describe. Particularly the selective mutism and social burnout. Also the complete meltdowns relating to appearance and getting ready. We have had an horrendous weekend here with these problems. We have staged an intervention on her messy bedroom. We have removed about 5 black bags of rubbish. I'm talking used sanitary pads shoved in cupboards, glasses with candles in. Dirty underwear. Used bowls and cutlery which we were missing. It won't stay tidy for long.
Yesterday she described an example of how someone brushing against leg triggers such a violent reaction in her that it makes her want to cry. She has ticks that are triggered by being around people.
I would push for a diagnosis as at least you can gain some insight into why you have the difficulties you have. I only wish we'd known before as I don't quite know how we didn't realise sooner 😢

ADHD is a possibility too for my daughter. We couldn't afford to test for that privately as well so we'll never know for sure. My son's ADHD nurse spotted his ASD a year or so after the ADHD was diagnosed as she said anxiety is more often seen with ASD. I'm not 100% sure on that but from our family's experience that's how things presented.

There is another label out there that may be of interest, though some people say it is unhelpful or simply doesn’t really exist as a category.

It’s called HSP - Highly Sensitive Person

You can choose to ignore but I have at times find some of the articles useful, if only to feel like I’m not the only one who struggles with certain experiences or environments.

Some more info here : https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/

Thank you, everyone for your replies.

I’ve not looked properly into ADHD as the main ADHD symptoms in adult women I’ve never related to. I have great time keeping, have great attention to detail, great memory, never forget to do tasks or go to appointments. But I know it’s not as black and white as what sources on the internet make out. So will do more research.

@Kielyflower I’ve read a lot about HSP, I really relate to it. Thank you for the link, will give this a read. Someone posted a thread about it in AIBU once and 99% of the replies were people laughing at the OP telling her she was ridiculous and there was no such thing.

I read recently in a book by Tony Attwood, who is a world renowned asd specialist, that there is such a thing as sub clinical autism. As in, a person may have many traits but not quite fully meet the threshold for a full diagnosis. I wonder if this is where I fit.
It's definitely not black or white. My daughter presented so very differently from my son which is why we just didn't twig. Its such a varied spectrum of symptoms and many cross overs with ADHD which muddies the water as well.

I honestly don’t know but I am 50 and can relate to almost everything you have written.
I’ve been wondering for some time now if I may be neurodiverse. I too feel quite different from friends and peers, always have.
I drive my husband insane with my hoarding, I just can not throw certain things away, they stack up. I know they need to go but something in me just will not/can not release them. It actually makes me feel physically panicked at the thought of going through it all.
And I can listen to the same song over and over and over, it puts me into a trance like state at times (another thing which drives my dh insane).

I’m diagnosed with Asperger’s and I strongly relate to most things on your list. The traits I don’t relate to are traits that my DS’s have (fizzy drinks, overly attached to objects).

i have friends who I don’t think would quite meet the criteria and in my experience these are ‘highly sensitive people’. These people make up twenty percent of the population. However, as someone with a lot of experience of autism, you sound autistic.