I think I'm probably not ok

[Maybenotok]

I'm on counsellor number 2 trying to manage my stress. Neither have helped me, because maybe I'm not in a position to allow them to help me help myself. My work is new and stressful and taking over my free time. I wake up in the night sweating about some meeting/email and trace the 5 inboxes I have set up on my phone to see if I can put it right. The nursery is concerned about some of my son's behaviours (stimming/extreme emotions). I'm worried I'm not spending enough time with him. My debts are getting hard to manage again. I don't know what I enjoy anymore - the only thing I seem to seek comfort in is food. I'm becoming more and more overweight and I'm not happy with who I see in the mirror. This is a lot to unpack and while I won't get find a magical solution soon, I wonder if anyone can help me start with a step in the right direction? I can't remember a spell of depression/anxiety being this intense and enduring before and I don't know how to climb out.

What's stopping you putting reasonable boundaries on the new job?

New job anxiety is awful. I remember how intense and overwhelming it can feel. If it’s any help it doesn’t last more than around 3 months or so, before you find your feet. I would recommend gritting your teeth and reminding yourself it’s just a temporary bit of stress and uncomfortableness to endure. Sucks though.

Sounds like you need a break, some down time to ground yourself. Can you take a couple days leave when your son is in nursery?? Have some time to rest, go for a walk, what ever helps for a little bit, and then pick one thing to tackle- is it help for your son? Referrals? Debt? Which thing is the most manageable?? Pick one change to make at once to look after yourself, and be kind to yourself. There is a lot to manage.

You have a lot on your plate, does your dc have a diagnosis of anything at all or is this adding to the anxiety, it's bound to. Masking through life for whatever reason just bubbles up at some point unfortunately but it does offer the chance to stop and ask why you feel this way. If it's chronic rumination about things then strategies talked through in counselling might work. If there's something underlying you might need more help than a counsellor. It's great to take these steps, other help is there too via GP. Setting boundaries is really hard if you're not used to it. I'm terrible at it and am also trying to find a way of stopping the constant overthinking.

Oh Christ that really is a lot, give yourself a break thinking you need to 'get out of this'; you're handling a huge amount at once and you're going to need to just take some time and let the waves break over you for a while. Unless something changes eg changing job or getting an IVA etc then you can't expect your stress levels to reduce for a while. You're doing amazingly to just keep on keeping on right now.

Thank you. I keep focusing on one area and when I perceive I am failing, it makes me reflect on everything else. I feel I need to focus on eating well which I hope will decrease the takeaways/snacks, which will save money. I'm then hoping to limit the housework so I can spend time with my son. He hasn't been diagnosed and everyone around me is saying it's a good sign that the nursery is so proactive - they've said their concerns are so minor but they want to keep an eye in case something slips through the net. It's hard because I've always had a feeling that he's not neurotypical (my siblings are quite noticeably autistic) and remembering how hard it was for my mum makes me worry. I'm really still struggling with the work problem. I got a new job 6 months ago, which then got removed from the new structure. Had to go for the nearest role but as I never adjusted to the last job, it feels so neverending.