Worries about family pressure

[ElleS24]

New to mumsnet and not sure where best to get advice. I am 13 weeks pregnant with our first child after 2 years of trying. We announced our news to family this week and I haven't slept since. My mother in law is making it all about her. She is already referring to it as "her baby" and demanded to be present at the birth. When I said that it would just be myself and my husband, she stormed out of the room. She is also demanding people congratulate her instead of me (on MY pregnancy!)

My husband and I are trying so hard to be relaxed and we don't want to have hundreds of rules and make family feel they can't see our baby, as we know how excited everyone is. But I'm scared that when my baby is born that it will constantly be snatched out of my arms and my mother in law will visit daily without warning or invitation. I worry that my husband just thinks I'm hormonal and doesn't see a need to support me, and he also has struggled from lifelong emotional manipulation.

Cutting her and other family out of our lives isn't an option, but any advice on how to set boundaries with family who have very little respect would be appreciated!

You are about to become a mother. That means you're an adult and, as an adult, you have complete and total control over your decisions. Keep repeating that. Your MIL has no sway over what you do or don't do - she can throw as many wobblies as she likes, it is NOTHING to do with you. You and your husband need to decide what is and isn't acceptable to you as a couple and as parents and you need to stick to it - this is hugely important.

If your husband needs therapy or counselling to maintain a united front then he MUST do this before the baby is born. If he can't (or won't) then quietly make plans to be a single parent.