Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Health anxiety and OCD going to far.

9 replies

AlltheJays23 · 02/12/2023 18:39

I've been suffering with health anxiety for many years. Its turned into OCD type behaviour. Obsessive intrusive thoughts ALL day every day. I'm pretty certain I'm hearing things that aren't there. Not voices just random sounds. I've been massively triggered today which has led me to come on here and ask if anyone has similar experiences. Its sounds absolute crazy but here goes.
Today we had a massive bang on the door like an aggressive knock. Nobody was there when we answered it. It scared me. Iv spent the last two hours being mega paranoid and having some horrible thoughts like "what if someone is here to kill me" "what if someone just shoots me through the window". Making up all these dreadful thoughts in my head.
Then I started hearing strange beeping noises. I've searched my house and it's not coming from my house my husband hasn't heard any said noises.
Then I thought I could hear a whistling sound. Again can't find anything. Except. Where my gas meter is I thought I could hear a whistling sound. So now I'm obsessing and panicking we have a leak. Can't smell gas, nothing is pointing to a leak. I've immediately switched my boiler off and tested my upstairs monoxide alarm. It works. But I'm scared shitless my house is about to blow up with all of us in it. This is just unbearable. I know that I'm being irrational but I just focus on the"but it's not impossible". I'm living in fear of everything. I've sought help. I've had therapy and medication and each time it justs worse. Does anyone think this is more than ocd and anxiety. I'm scared I'm going to be committed and have my children taken away. If I'm.not worrying about my health or dying I'm worrying about horrible scenarios like being blown up or poisoned or attacked etc.

OP posts:
HavingToStartAgain · 02/12/2023 22:17

DrA just did a video about OCD, a lot of what you say does sound like it is just OCD, especially as you recognise you are being irrational.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeRr2jVo/
BUT if the auditory hallucinations are new, I wonder if it’s something like B12 deficiency? Levels are set really low in the U.K. so, even after a blood test, you could be told you are within ‘normal range’ but if you are in the lower end of normal you can still suffer quite bad symptoms.

The other mental changes associated with B12 deficiency include apathy, agitation, impaired concentration, insomnia, persecutory delusions, auditory and visual hallucinations, and disorganised thought-process.

I’m sorry you are struggling at the moment, it does sound like you need to have a discussion with the GP if things are getting worse for you.

TikTok - Make Your Day

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeRr2jVo/

Original poster
AlltheJays23 · 02/12/2023 22:30

HavingToStartAgain · 02/12/2023 22:17

DrA just did a video about OCD, a lot of what you say does sound like it is just OCD, especially as you recognise you are being irrational.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeRr2jVo/
BUT if the auditory hallucinations are new, I wonder if it’s something like B12 deficiency? Levels are set really low in the U.K. so, even after a blood test, you could be told you are within ‘normal range’ but if you are in the lower end of normal you can still suffer quite bad symptoms.

The other mental changes associated with B12 deficiency include apathy, agitation, impaired concentration, insomnia, persecutory delusions, auditory and visual hallucinations, and disorganised thought-process.

I’m sorry you are struggling at the moment, it does sound like you need to have a discussion with the GP if things are getting worse for you.

Strangely enough I read in my discharge notes from hospital for something unrelated, one of my diagnosis was auditory hallucinations and I've been scratching m head wondering why or how this was diagnosed. It was from cardiology which is even weirder. I think the fact that I've started to hear noises and my thoughts are getting more and more irrational is what was worrying me that this could be something more serious. Like an onset of psychosis or something which terrifies me!

OP posts:
HavingToStartAgain · 02/12/2023 22:50

I once, whilst walking up the stairs in work, saw a monkey. It was the size of a cat and it ran across the landing. I also regularly heard lively sitar music when there wasn’t any. It all stopped when I had b12 injections.

LittleMissSunshiner · 02/12/2023 22:54

Hi @AlltheJays23

Firstly I'm so sorry you're going through this level of distress. I suffer from extreme anxiety and PTSD and sometimes it tips into obsessing and OCD and paranoia. I can't say as I have experienced 'auditory hallucinations' or hearing noises that aren't real -but- try not to panic.

My best advice is when feeling this agitated is to identify it and take action - proactive action - to get yourself in a calmer and less angsty state. Sounds blindingly obvious to say that and I'm not trying to be patronising, I just know what works and what feeds it. You have to stop 'feeding it' - we have to 'fight it'.

Are you prescribed any medication such as anti anxiety medication or sleeping tablets? If so, use them.

Can you force yourself to do things that are calming and relaxing such as take a hotwater bottle to bed, wear cozy clothes, snuggle in your blankets, and watch something silly and daft online like a favourite old comedy show or a children's TV show or listen to an audiobook? I find having a hot bath a bit too much of an ordeal and it's such a cliche but a lovely hot bath soak can work miracles. Lavender oil or infusion or spray.

Distract distract distract from your own internal monologue and thinking - that's where the damage lies. Also, eat some nice yummy food. Eat well! I personally don't eat junk food or what I call 'sugary shite' for comfort as it makes more problems but I'm a great fan of a couple of chunky stodgy sandwiches or a bowl of pasta or a portion of chips or some mashed potato with gravy or a big bowl of soup. It's calming.

Do you have any vitamin or mineral supplements ? Magnesium and zinc can be calming.

Cut out excessive incoming stress - so, put your phone on silent, don't make any agreements or arrangements to do things you can't cope with for the moment. Don't watch the news, horror films, or engage in critical gossip about others. This is about you getting into radical 'self care' mode and hunkering down to soothe yourself.

Can you get yourself out for a walk tomorrow? Put on warm rainproof clothes and force yourself to the park or nearest green space. I talk to trees when it all gets to much. It works miracles.

Please believe in yourself and that this is just a blip, it's because you're abnormally stressed or ground down somehow - even if it's unconscious there's 'something' - and you're going to get real calm, real relaxed, play it hour by hour and get well fed, drink calming hot drinks. Do not drink any alcohol or smoke any weed, do not eat sugary shite junk sweets. Be very very kind and gentle on yourself and rest up. Don't expect anything from yourself and play it hour by hour. Don't let yourself think beyond the next hour. Block out the obsessive thoughts - play music or audiobooks etc. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

Original poster
AlltheJays23 · 02/12/2023 22:55

HavingToStartAgain · 02/12/2023 22:50

I once, whilst walking up the stairs in work, saw a monkey. It was the size of a cat and it ran across the landing. I also regularly heard lively sitar music when there wasn’t any. It all stopped when I had b12 injections.

I had loads of bloods done recently and my b12 was normal. Everything was normal except my cortisol and bone profile (whatever that means) I've had no follow up for those.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlltheJays23 · 02/12/2023 23:00

LittleMissSunshiner · 02/12/2023 22:54

Hi @AlltheJays23

Firstly I'm so sorry you're going through this level of distress. I suffer from extreme anxiety and PTSD and sometimes it tips into obsessing and OCD and paranoia. I can't say as I have experienced 'auditory hallucinations' or hearing noises that aren't real -but- try not to panic.

My best advice is when feeling this agitated is to identify it and take action - proactive action - to get yourself in a calmer and less angsty state. Sounds blindingly obvious to say that and I'm not trying to be patronising, I just know what works and what feeds it. You have to stop 'feeding it' - we have to 'fight it'.

Are you prescribed any medication such as anti anxiety medication or sleeping tablets? If so, use them.

Can you force yourself to do things that are calming and relaxing such as take a hotwater bottle to bed, wear cozy clothes, snuggle in your blankets, and watch something silly and daft online like a favourite old comedy show or a children's TV show or listen to an audiobook? I find having a hot bath a bit too much of an ordeal and it's such a cliche but a lovely hot bath soak can work miracles. Lavender oil or infusion or spray.

Distract distract distract from your own internal monologue and thinking - that's where the damage lies. Also, eat some nice yummy food. Eat well! I personally don't eat junk food or what I call 'sugary shite' for comfort as it makes more problems but I'm a great fan of a couple of chunky stodgy sandwiches or a bowl of pasta or a portion of chips or some mashed potato with gravy or a big bowl of soup. It's calming.

Do you have any vitamin or mineral supplements ? Magnesium and zinc can be calming.

Cut out excessive incoming stress - so, put your phone on silent, don't make any agreements or arrangements to do things you can't cope with for the moment. Don't watch the news, horror films, or engage in critical gossip about others. This is about you getting into radical 'self care' mode and hunkering down to soothe yourself.

Can you get yourself out for a walk tomorrow? Put on warm rainproof clothes and force yourself to the park or nearest green space. I talk to trees when it all gets to much. It works miracles.

Please believe in yourself and that this is just a blip, it's because you're abnormally stressed or ground down somehow - even if it's unconscious there's 'something' - and you're going to get real calm, real relaxed, play it hour by hour and get well fed, drink calming hot drinks. Do not drink any alcohol or smoke any weed, do not eat sugary shite junk sweets. Be very very kind and gentle on yourself and rest up. Don't expect anything from yourself and play it hour by hour. Don't let yourself think beyond the next hour. Block out the obsessive thoughts - play music or audiobooks etc. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

Thank you so much.
I am prescribed anti depressants. But taking them.is a.bit of an ordeal in itself so I'm very unreliable with them. The overwhelming fear of side effects and what ifs. I also have diazepam to calm me down but again, I choose not to take this as I have toddler and I worry I'll be out of it to care for him. I am quite active and go out for long walks with the pram most days but even this is becoming an ordeal because of my paranoia of getting attacked or caught up in a freak accident etc. I have been trying to do alit of self care but I'm stuck in a rut at the moment of the continuing cycle.

OP posts:
LittleMissSunshiner · 02/12/2023 23:01

Also please remember that if things get unmanageable - ring your local Crisis Team (you can find their number on the local council website under mental health) and ask them to come out and do a home visit.

the other thing is the Samaritans phone line - can be hit and miss but sometimes helps to speak to another person. Sometimes they'd annoy me so much it would snap me out of my anxiety LOL. If you don't feel helped by the person on the line, hang up and redial. Also they have a text service.

Original poster
AlltheJays23 · 02/12/2023 23:04

LittleMissSunshiner · 02/12/2023 23:01

Also please remember that if things get unmanageable - ring your local Crisis Team (you can find their number on the local council website under mental health) and ask them to come out and do a home visit.

the other thing is the Samaritans phone line - can be hit and miss but sometimes helps to speak to another person. Sometimes they'd annoy me so much it would snap me out of my anxiety LOL. If you don't feel helped by the person on the line, hang up and redial. Also they have a text service.

I've used the samaritans a few times but some of them I find patronizing. I've been given the number for the crisis team from my GP but I'm reluctant to call them because I'm worried they will tell social.servhces and I'll lose my son. Also I dont want to put any pressure on my partner, he works full time and overtime. I also don't want my parents.knoeikgmhow bad things are because I'm embarrassed and frankly I'm ashamed.

OP posts:
LittleMissSunshiner · 02/12/2023 23:08

AlltheJays23 · 02/12/2023 23:00

Thank you so much.
I am prescribed anti depressants. But taking them.is a.bit of an ordeal in itself so I'm very unreliable with them. The overwhelming fear of side effects and what ifs. I also have diazepam to calm me down but again, I choose not to take this as I have toddler and I worry I'll be out of it to care for him. I am quite active and go out for long walks with the pram most days but even this is becoming an ordeal because of my paranoia of getting attacked or caught up in a freak accident etc. I have been trying to do alit of self care but I'm stuck in a rut at the moment of the continuing cycle.

Show quote history

Oh please take your antidepressant on a regular daily basis or that can cause you to be unsettled in its own right as you're going in / out of withdrawal. Which one are you prescribed? Whatever it is, you do need to take it at the same time every day -or- come off it completely by tapering off with the support of GP.

I am prescribed diazepam and only take a low does (2mg tablets so depending how unsettled I feel I either take a tiny dose or a few more, they help a lot). If you're prescribed a higher dose, you could just take half a tablet.

Also - whilst in an agitated state AVOID all forms of caffeine and stimulant. Drink decaf coffee and decaf tea. Don't drink fizzy drinks. They can have your head running away too.

I know your issues are mental health and not about what you eat or drink but it really can make a huge improvement by thinking of all the other factors.

I hope you can feel confident enough to go for a walk tomorrow to burn off some energy - is there anyone you can meet up with and share how you're feeling with? If there isn't, I hope in time you can meet a supportive group of other mums who are kind and understanding.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page