Driving on motorways - panic and anxiety. Help!

[Flatulence]

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience of combatting major anxiety/panic about driving on motorways and dual carriageways.

For background I passed my test almost 25 years ago, when I was 17. I grew up in a very rural area where there were no big dual carriageways to learn on so never really got any practice. I didn't own a car, so didn't get a chance to really practice as a qualified driver either, then moved to uni in a major city and stayed put - meaning I didn't drive for about 7yrs.

When I got my first car, in my mid 20s, I rapidly became a reasonably confident driver and didn't bat an eyelid about driving on the motorway and did so every day to get to work, through I never attempted any particularly long journeys (e.g. over about an hour of solid motorway driving).

That changed after about a year when I had what I now realise was a panic attack while joining a motorway. I thought I was going to pass out at the time. I had to pull onto the hard shoulder and, once I composed myself, was able to drive home while still in a state. I carried on using motorways for a few months after but was a quivering wreck during and after each journey so I decided to avoid them for a bit. That was more than 15yrs ago and I've not driven on one since. I live in a major city so it's mostly fairly easy to do.

My overriding worry is that I'll pass out on one, or go dizzy, or lose control and crash at speed. The lack of exits makes me feel terrified. I've previously struggled with panic attacks when going through some intensely stressful periods though haven't had one for many, many years now.

The ridiculous thing is, I'm still a fairly confident driver on city roads and rural roads too. I don't even mind 'urban' dual carriageways too much - but motorways and big dual carriageways (think A1) send me into a cold sweat. I go out of my way (sometimes adding hours onto a long journey) to avoid a motorway. It's ridiculous and it's stopping me doing the things I want to.

Now I'm at a stage in my life where I want to put my big girl pants on and tackle this for good. While I doubt I'll ever love motorway driving I do want to get to a stage with it where it doesn't bother me and it doesn't stop me doing the things I want to do. I've tried to desensitise myself by doing more 'fast' driving and taking the dual carriageway near me more often plus practicing on big motorway roundabouts and roads adjacent to the motorway. But every time the panic sets it. It's horrible.

I'm looking for suggestions on what worked for you or people you know to help them get over this. Are there therapists who specialise in this? Or driving instructors? Or a combination of the two? What do I need to look for? I have some money to spend on trying to fix this as I'm so embarrassed and restricted by this problem.

I do struggle with high-functioning anxiety in general and have had many sessions of CBT and have used sertraline for many years.

Have you tried using rescue remedy? My driving instructor advised me to use it when stress was affecting my driving. Sorry to hear, sounds horrible!

I don't know whether it would help - maybe consider doing some accompanied motorway driving either with a driving instructor or an advanced driving instructor?
If nothing bad happens on accompanied drives would that help put your fears back in context?

I did a day with 'Reg Local' which was one of the best things I have done for my driving. He has a motorway video among many others:

He's based in the North-West of England.

Remedial hypnosis would help, because this is an emotional (subconscious) issue rather than a logical (conscious) problem.

I would guess that the panic attack - which may have been completely unrelated to being on a motorway - set up a massive alarm in your mind which is now triggered every time you even think about it.

I’d book a couple of motorway lessons with a driving instructor. My mum did this after she got divorced from my dad (Dad always drove on long journeys). She was never a super confident driver on the motorway but the refresher lessons helped a lot.

Motorways are well lit. Mways are FINE.

Versus Unlit rural A-roads with 50-60mph speed limit being blinded by oncoming traffic. Give me a motorway instead any time!

Would exercising your right to pootle help? If you stayed at a steady speed behind a lorry, would that be easier?

I'd also try and practice during quiet periods. I don't know if there's a motorway near you, but if possible could you go up and back a junction before bed?

I'd also look up some breathing exercises. It doesn't sound like it would be effective, but they cured me of my crippling vertigo. Long slow deep breaths calm your nervous system more than you'd give them credit for.

I'd also have the sat nav on all the time, preferably Google Maps. Having real time traffic information might make you feel more in control.

So this is what I'd do. I'd do a kind of aversion therapy. Firstly, tell myself so matter what I'll be driving off at the very next junction. Secondly, I'd do this at 2pm in the morning when there's very little traffic about. And I'd practice controlled breathing. Hopefully having avoided a panic attack once, you'd be able to repeat and gradually desensitise yourself to it.

I'm similar OP and have no idea how to combat the problem. I was thinking CBT as I don't think it's something that an advanced driver course could solve.
Following with interest as my issue is exacerbated in the winter.
Hope that you find something to help you.

Beta blockers helped me. Rescue Remedy does shit.

I drive at around 60-65mph, avoid changing lanes where possibly, and take a ton of paracetemol when I get to my destination to help with the severe stress headache and stomach pains.

Ground yourself. Look at facts, not fears.

No exits: not actually true. There are very rarely long stretches of motorway with no exits or hardshoulder. As you know from pulling over onto it.

Motorways are actually the safest and easiest roads to drive on. Everyone going in the same direction, 3 lanes so you can easily let arseholes overtake you and maintain a good stopping distance.

Most modern cars handle very well at speed. I once had to dodge a lorry that nearly crushed me against the barrier when I was passing it. Driver clearly not paying attention. It should not have been in the 3rd lane either but that's another moan. I managed to accelerate out, pass in front of it and cross two lanes of traffic to avoid a collision.

Although we were moving fast so was everything else relative to us. You DO have time to react as long as you keep a good distance from the car in front. There's a rhythm to motorways which you'll fall into if you can just relax a little.

I think a pass plus course would help you more than therapy tbh. You KNOW what you're afraid of, there's nothing to uncover there. It's just practice and confidence you need.

I had a couple of extra lessons a couple years after passing, specifically to tackle this fuck off massive light controlled junction in North London that I cocked up every time but had to use. It really helped. We did this junction over and over from every direction. It's actually not that hard once I get over my initial reaction which was basically. 'Omg it's massive, help, fuck, where do I go? Where do I stop! AM I SUPPOSED TO STOP HERE?!!!!!'

Exactly the same thing happened to me nearly 10 years ago shortly after a very stressful few months in my life.
I did have a 6 week course of CBT which I thought had cured it but then one day I had another panic attack whilst driving on a busy dual carriageway and pulled over. DH was in the car and took over the driving. I've never driven on a motorway or busy dual carriageway since. I live in a rural area so that doesn't create too many problems.

I have recently been thinking about tackling the issue again possibly with hypnotherapy but haven't yet taken the leap as most therapists seem to offer on line appointments now and I think I'd prefer in person appointments.

I'm exactly the same OP. I've very recently started becoming very panicky on motorways. I've been feeling more anxious in general and think it's related to perimenopause.
Firstly, using Google maps you can select the option "avoid motorways" and often the routes only take a bit longer than motorway routes.
Secondly, I've read threads on this before and people have recommended propranolol which is a beta blocker and stops the physical symptoms of anxiety like racing heart. Some people take it just for driving. I'm seriously considering asking my doctor for some. I think when I'm driving I get in to this vicious circle of thinking "Oh no I'm getting panicky and I'm on a motorway" and this makes my heart pound more and then I get more stressed. If I didn't get the physical symptoms of anxiety when driving I think I'd be able to stay much calmer and feel in control.

You could be me OP
I've posted about this a few times. I found on Spotify a really god Hypnosis podcast by Adam Cox and he does a specific one for motorway driving. It helped me when I last needed to take a motorway journey but I still feel panicky about having to do long journeys if I'm honest
My anxiety started a couple of years back and previously I went all over the country on the motorway . It's definitely a thing that happens during menopause

Hiya I took refresher lessons In my 40s as had not driven since 18. Motorways were a challenge! I did lots of other driving first with the instructor, then we did them. I then got my DB to come with me on my first couple. I then forced myself to do them at least monthly I.e. M25 and the smaller ones every couple of weeks. Honestly it took about 6 months before I stopped gripping the wheel so tight and sweating. It's kind of normal as it is fast. The first time I went with DB I had a panic attack as the lights were all coming at me and I had this weird moving not moving vibe going on.

AA do a block of refresher lessons, you don't have to explain, just book. It is very common. My instructor had someone who would have a lesson every few months then never use it then come back for another! Find an instructor you can completely relax with.

Pass Plus is also on my list.

I understand this.
My journey to work is along a busy duel carriage way. It's one junction along. But 8 miles.
I had a panic attack one night and it's terrifying.
The thoughts were exactly the same. I'm going to crash this car.
My hands go numb.
Did CBT. It didn't really help.
I usually take a different road now but was forced into the A road due to the weather a few weeks ago.
What helped was singing! It sounds mad but it kept my breathing in check and my brain from spiraling into panic.
I still avoid it. But I know if I absolutely have to, I can go on that road.
It's a horrible feeling and the thought of not being able to get off the road is awful.
You have my sympathies.